From Nicknames to Resilience

Remember those childhood nicknames that stuck to you like glue? Join Chrisy and Kerry, as they navigate the whimsical yet poignant memories of growing up in their neighborhoods where friends became their second dysfunctional family. The ladies share tales of their contrasting upbringings. With humor and candor, they reflect on the lasting impacts of their youthful experiences. Through their narratives, the ladies highlight the importance of finding your own ways to heal and grow, reminding us all of the peculiar journey from childhood dysfunction to adult resilience.

Chapters

• 0:07 Childhood Neighborhood Dysfunction
• 11:41 Childhood Trauma and Repressed Memories
• 21:05 Navigating Coping Mechanisms and Therapy

Transcript

DJ Nick: 0:07

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast. We may not have seen it a a a a b a a ,bute w a w w b h enough. And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and t.

Kerry: 0:19

All right, all right, all right, welcome back. Dysfunction Junkies. We're your hosts. I'm Kerry,

Chrisy: 0:25

I'm Chrisy.

Kerry: 0:26

In today's episode we are going to talk about that secondary dysfunctional family. You know those neighborhood kids that you were stuck with. You didn't pick them, but they were in your neighborhood and you were stuck with them. So Chrissy and I grew up in two different types of neighborhoods. I grew up on the edge of town, starting to be into the country where Chrissy was in a more traditional neighborhood. h cSo Chrisy c I understand you have a beef with some of those neighborhood kids.

Chrisy: 0:54

Well, the one thing I'd like to say to those two gentlemen out there, wherever they are, if they might be listening, which I doubt, but my name is not Chrissy Pissy assholes, that's all I can say.

Kerry: 1:09

and and myname n Dumbass Dumbassd . n aundefined Kerry Dumbass.

Chrisy: 1:12

Make sure you understand why the play on words for that one, because they were not being creative at all.

Kerry: 1:19

No, they were not being creative, they couldn't come up with anything.

Kerry: 1:22

And mine?

Chrisy: 1:22

either Mine just rhymed.

Kerry: 1:26

So my last name was Dumas D-U-M-A-S, but people thought it was hysterical to say Carrie Dumbass.

Chrisy: 1:35

KDumbass KerryDumbass Dumbass Dumbass throw a movie thing in there real quick but there's a reference to that in a movie.

Kerry: 1:41

Carrie Dumbass is in a movie no.

Chrisy: 1:43

The last name, nick Shawshank Redemption. I'm trying to remember, but they were talking about an author. Oh, alexandra. Oh, yeah, yeah yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And what's funny is our producer slash DJ, nick slash my husband had to remind me of the book. Why? Because I graduated with a degree in English literature and I'm the Count of Monte Cristo. Oh see, I didn't know that, but I believe the gentleman in the movie called it Monte Crisco. I can't remember and he called it Alexander Dumbass.

Kerry: 2:18

Yes, and he thought it was so funny. Alexander Dumas.

Chrisy: 2:21

Right, so get it right.

Kerry: 2:23

People Right, exactly yeah, alexander dumas right. So right, get it right. People right. Exactly yeah, I'm sure there was a lot of other names, nicknames that I had from people growing up, but most of them I've blocked out but uh, but yeah, that one always stuck in my craw because people thought they were being so original. Oh, look at you, we're gonna really get you with that zinger and it'd be like be more creative idiot. Yeah, you're not the first one who's done this.

Chrisy: 2:44

I mean, if you think you are, then I guess you also think you're super special. Yes, um, so, yeah, so I grew up uh the city limits uh, in a neighborhood mostly populated by older people, but there were some uh kids uh either. I don't think I had anybody my age exactly. A lot of them were either a little bit older or a little bit younger.

Kerry: 3:08

Yeah, did your neighborhood have a sidewalk?

Kerry: 3:10

no, no, yeah mine didn't either, but we lived out in the, you know, boom docks. We okay, let's just say this, the road that I grew up on, at least back in the day no longer now, but back in the day um, there was two cemeteries, a house, a little caretaker's house, in between the two cemeteries that had a very creepy guy that lived in it, and then there was maybe two other houses and then ours, and then it was a cornfield. So yeah, we had a little different yeah, growing up.

Chrisy: 3:35

Um, yeah, I guess it's considered rare and within the city to not have sidewalks yeah our street, uh drove into a metro park oh yeah, that's right so six houses. Down the street was, uh, one of three lakes that were in the park a lovely park. A lot of people who are from where we're from. Yeah, uh, love it.

Kerry: 3:55

Yes, um, I grew up next to it, so I guess I took it for granted, but you still had a neighborhood like you had houses, like you could walk next door to your neighbor, relatively close. Yeah, for the most part you could.

Chrisy: 4:05

It was sort of an unusual city area because the property I grew up on my parents had two lots and it was like an acre, which in the city is a lot, and we didn't have anybody behind us, because, again, the park, it went to the woods. There was a park road behind us and so, but yeah, for the most part the houses were reasonably close.

Kerry: 4:25

So you had older people in the neighborhood, but there were still some kids, yeah, many people.

Chrisy: 4:29

Your age Close. Okay, a little older, a little younger, and these are not people I would have chose, but that's the whole reason. They're like a dysfunctional family, exactly. You're stuck with them. For as long as you have to live there, you make the best and you might be saying to yourself why am I putting myself through all of this with these people? And it's because you have to.

Kerry: 4:51

Yes, you have to. You have no choice, right.

Chrisy: 4:52

I mean, I did generally choose just to stay within my compound and not go out.

Chrisy: 5:02

And the other crappy thing about all this is is that I grew up with a swimming pool and, uh, nobody else in the neighborhood had one yeah that I'm remembering, and so I had a lot more friends in the summer yes then when it got cold, was it an above ground, so it wasn't about right it was sort of a weird thing because the way our backyard was half of it it was it was definitely an above ground right, but some of it was built into the ground because of the slope, right, right, um.

Kerry: 5:30

Not a lot of people in our area, this part of northeast ohio, have an in-ground pool. You have to be really upper class to have that, yeah I think that more people are getting them.

Chrisy: 5:39

But when you live in this part of the country, a lot of you, I'm sure, will understand. You really got to understand. Is it worth it, right, how much of the swimming season you're gonna have?

Kerry: 5:47

right, but june, july, if you're lucky, maybe august.

Chrisy: 5:50

Yeah, and you gotta make sure you heat that thing, because you're not gonna get to use it much at all if you don't um so yeah, so, uh, you know not people I would choose. Um, I can't say, uh, I keep in touch at one, one young lady. She's not young, she's my age, a little younger than me.

Kerry: 6:07

We're young.

Chrisy: 6:08

But yeah, we are young. Despite the pimples that we're both having today we are having so much excitement over doing this that we have both done like a Late onset puberty or something with a pimple breakout. Yes, we both have painful pimples on our face and we're trying to figure that one out, because I can't remember the last time I had this. I think I was about 16. I know.

Kerry: 6:29

I got this one on my chin. It was driving me nuts.

Chrisy: 6:31

I got one on my forehead I look like that commercial. It was a commercial for the.

Kerry: 6:37

The pimple cream? Yes, you know it's not on the end of my nose, but so we're really relating to our childhood woes today, because we're both having these odd onset breakouts at 50.

Chrisy: 6:48

Yes, so the fact that I'm able to remember my nickname from these two. My DJ Nick says the Stridex commercial.

Kerry: 6:56

Oh, the Stridex.

Chrisy: 6:57

Good job, dj, nick I don't even know if they sell those anymore.

Kerry: 7:00

I used to use I was a Seabreeze girl girl myself but I don't think they sell that anymore well, that was for people that could afford like luxuries. We would just slap a little alcohol on it in my house.

Chrisy: 7:11

We couldn't afford those high-end. I think sea breeze was basically that it smelled very strong right now.

Kerry: 7:15

I need some sea breeze on this thing Chrisy right here. But anyways, back to our childhood dysfunction.

Chrisy: 7:20

Yeah, so, uh, being called called Chrissy Pissy all the time by these two dopey boys that lived in the neighborhood. God Don't even know why. I was really little at the time. This is like my first interaction with neighborhood kids. Didn't even play with them or anything, because they were older. And you know, of course, why would I want to after that, but I would dread them being outside. And then I would want to go outside because I would have to get my nickname out of the way.

Kerry: 7:50

Yeah, yeah well, I didn't have so much problems with the kids in the neighborhood because again grew up on a street with two cemeteries so there wasn't a lot of kids roaming around my neighborhood.

Kerry: 8:00

I do I was living chrissy's ideal life, so those are the best neighbors. We did have some kids around the corner that later in life I got to know because, um, I got a horse and then they had horses. So we, we, when, when I had a horse to ride around the corner a few miles, I could find the other children. But most of my time growing up there was it was just me and the neighborhood animals, so I didn't have to worry about that so much. But when I got went to school, so riding the bus. So again we lived a little bit out in the country so I had to ride a bus and our bus system because we went to a Catholic grade school and so we had to share with the other Catholic grade schools. So our bus actually picked up like three different schools, picked all of us kids up in the country and dropped us off at the different schools. So we were riding the bus with kids that we weren't even in school with.

Chrisy: 8:55

So it was just all, just the Catholic schools, or did you have like? No, it was all Catholic. Oh, it was all yeah.

Kerry: 9:01

So I think there was definitely two schools, but I think at one point there was a third school in the mix. But yeah, so it was just a melting pot for bullism. So yeah, it was crazy. And then when senior year or going into high school, then we would have to sometimes transition buses because they'd pick us up and then we'd have to get on a different bus to take us downtown to the high school, pick us up, and then we'd have to get on a different bus to take us downtown to the high school. So, yeah, that that was where most of the name calling and all of that was on. That I can imagine it was catholic kids on the school bus?

Chrisy: 9:31

you did the high school bus. Did you um have? Were you with other kids from other? Well, because what I'm guessing at that point, were you on with some of the public school kids then?

Kerry: 9:42

no, we were, it was all high school and I think it was towards the end. It was just all our high school. But I still feel like sometimes there was there was other kids on there but I don't know what school they were from. But yeah, so it was crazy, but it was a long bus ride. Like I was the first kid picked up at like 0 Dark 100, six o'clock in the morning, and then you'd be a time you drive through all the little country towns, pick everyone up and then school started at eight or something. Wow, it was crazy, which is why I started writing driving my pickup truck, the Flintstone truck, that we talked about in episode one.

Chrisy: 10:16

I don't know what's worse Getting getting harassed on a bus or driving.

Kerry: 10:22

Hole in the floorboard.

Chrisy: 10:23

Hole in the floorboard truck. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound. Who the hell do you think you are?

Kerry: 10:30

You didn't have a truck with a hole in the floorboard, Well no these were my options truck with a, with a floorboard hole, or getting harassed by all the different kids. So how do you think that shaped, growing older and all that name calling and dysfunctional neighborhood kids and everything how did that affect you growing up?

Chrisy: 10:48

Well, for me it was a nice base for anger and hostility and hating the other kids. My first thing, my first feeling when meeting people, probably for a very long time into my 20s, was you've got to be an idiot. I don't know anything about you, haven't even said one word out of your mouth yet, but I'm just. I'm about to have a conversation with you and my first thought is you've got to be an idiot what are you?

Chrisy: 11:16

gonna say Chrisy that's gonna agitate me. So yeah, I'm easily agitated. I've gotten much better. I've gotten much better, yep, you know. But but you're not bitter, chrissy Pissy? No, I'm not bitter. No, not at all.

Kerry: 11:34

Oh, Chrissy, you crack me up.

Chrisy: 11:36

So, but Kerry that's pretty much, I think, for me. That's not everybody's experience. I'm sure all of our listeners have had some horrible nickname, uh or hey. Maybe you were on the other side, I don't know. Maybe you can like write in and tell us why you wanted to call somebody chrissy pissy there you go.

Kerry: 11:54

Was it cherry dumbass?

Chrisy: 11:56

yeah, I mean, what did they gain from that? Well, they made their friends. It was a thing I'm sure you know because generally you didn't, um, uh know, hear that from somebody just standing around by themselves.

Kerry: 12:08

Right, Because then that's a whole other problem going on. Oh yeah, there you go.

Chrisy: 12:11

But again, and no, we're not therapists, we are just telling you what our thoughts are on this. We have no science-backed information on this.

Kerry: 12:18

But this is how we get through things. Yes, we talk about things, we laugh about things. We laugh at our own dysfunctions. We laugh at our own bitterness or not bitter, depending on how you want to look at it Because this is how we get through we laugh at our dysfunctions.

Chrisy: 12:33

Well, how do you think having to endure that whole process of being called your name? How did that shape you later on, or how you feel about it now?

Kerry: 12:50

I think that's why, for the first 30 years of my life, I preferred being around animals. I found it safer to go into a lion's cage with six adult lions than it was to be out with the public. That's how I felt. So, and yes, for a little reference, I did raise lions for a company that provided lions for one of the major hotels in Las Vegas. So I actually have been in a cage with several adult lions, and that is way safer to me than the general public. Wow, yes, I have issues. I know We've got issues here. We're not denying it, we're not judging.

Chrisy: 13:20

But I'd have to say that those my see, I this is. We are so defined by this we are it just totally and it stays in line with how we are. Yes, your whole thing was and we'll get into it later was to hold back I did not just discuss it suppress right, that was our word right.

Kerry: 13:40

We're going to talk more about that in more episodes, because we don't talk about the elephant in the room Right and mine was to normalize it. Yes, and.

Chrisy: 13:47

I took that hostility from these kids. The fun it's a kid thing, I get it. We're not making it out to be anything bigger than it was.

Kerry: 13:54

All kids do this I'm sure I know I'm guilty of it and we anything like that. Again, we're talking about our personal experiences and how we've processed it and how it's developed, and we didn't even really think of it as bullying.

Chrisy: 14:06

We didn't Cause, it just wasn't something that was brought to everybody's attention. You know, it was just uh right. If you would have went to your, if I would have went to my mom, I was just going to ask you that. And what did your parents say, the kids calling me that and did? They probably were laughing at their own. You know, I think the neighborhood kids want you, chrissy pissy, gone. I mean again, because this is what my family did, right, normalized right so to them that was probably just my second name.

Kerry: 14:33

Yeah, they may even thought I loved it oh well, my family didn't talk about things, so I didn't even talk to my family about it, because we don't talk about our problems, we don't talk about things.

Chrisy: 14:45

So you Chrisy know, just go home and pray about it and see how you can be a better person, and maybe they'll like you more if you say a couple hail marys my parents didn't want to talk about it at any length, so they figured they would just acknowledge it and say well, that's fine, chrissy, pissy is perfect, just go out there embrace it move on. And, as I'm told by DJ, nick should be my rap name. Oh, chrissy.

Kerry: 15:08

Pissy, chrissy, pissy. I can't rap, I'm not a rapper. And the Pistols? That sounds more like a band name.

Chrisy: 15:17

I guess so. But, yeah, so probably my parents didn't think anything of it. But yeah, so probably my parents didn't think anything of it. I know my mother would make me endure stories of all of her bullying, which is a whole different time period. And if our bullying wasn't really acknowledged? Or emphasized to have any sort of negative effects on you. Her time period? Really nobody, I mean, if anything. Uh, we're talking 50s, I guess.

Kerry: 15:50

Yeah uh, nobody acknowledged that. Not at all, not at all.

Chrisy: 15:53

Yep, they've repressed those feelings and emotions and everything well, now that might be that your family continuing with that right. They were pressed. They were pressed.

Kerry: 16:02

I had to hear from my mother and I still do the horrible stories about.

Chrisy: 16:07

I can tell you the names of the men who said these horrible things to my mother because she makes sure that she lets me know who it was and you know how hot and. But then what kills me is she says she saw them later in life, like within the last 10 years or something oh, and they were so nice. I'm like I don't know. I don't know how I'll react if I see somebody who uh really got under my skin.

Kerry: 16:29

I'm gonna try and uh, I'm gonna have to see my mom would know that day. My mom wouldn't remember, and it's not because she's definitely onset dementia, but it's just because she wouldn't have remembered, because it was. We don't talk about things or whatever and she's just gonna be like, oh, I just yeah, she would just fail to commit that to memory that anything happened and every life was good and we had no drama.

Chrisy: 16:49

And we had no drama and nothing, and so yeah, so she's suppressed it, and repressed it to the point of recreating history recreating history, and almost that it didn't even happen oh exactly, oh yes, 100, that's definitely my, my household, so well my first to see these people again, uh, which I'm uh at a benefit that I don't live yeah in that area anymore, but I did uh become a member of facebook within the last five years or so, which I really opposed, but I was sort of pushed into it, uh. So you do get to see, or these, some of these people, you want to forget about.

Kerry: 17:29

Yeah, um, are you? What? Are you friends on facebook with these chrissy pissy boys?

Chrisy: 17:33

no, oh, okay, no, I don't know where they are. I mean, I kind of know where. I'm sure they're back there still, I think probably. Um, and to be honest, that was just the beginning, and as much as I thought they were assholes for calling me that, I probably wouldn't really hold that against them because we were so little. I mean, I was probably four or five and that meant that they were only like six or seven. Yeah, and I would hold more hostility against people who agitated me in high school.

Kerry: 18:06

Luckily, I must not have been one of those people, since.

Chrisy: 18:08

I'm still here with you today. No, no, no. I can go off on a whole list of that whole thing, and those people come up quite a lot more because I'm friends with some people from high school. And their stuff comes up, pops up and I'm like ugh I remember them and then I remember why I'm not happy right now. So, but yeah, so I think we've all had. I can't think that there's anybody out there who doesn't have some sort of oh there's got to be.

Kerry: 18:36

Everyone has. We all have a story. I mean, that's why we're here, Because this is our safe place to talk about our stories and how we become who we are and how we get through life and how we're going to get through the future. So, yeah, I think people should post on our Facebook page or whatever about you know, their childhood trauma, nicknames or stories about the neighborhood kids or yeah, what I would wonder, because you already touched and we both touched on how our parents maybe dealt with such things.

Chrisy: 19:05

We're both the youngest of older siblings. Do you remember them ever talking to you about their experiences being no, our family.

Kerry: 19:13

Remember, we didn't talk about it.

Chrisy: 19:15

I just wanted to make sure we were still being consistent. No, no, we're consistent. I anticipated your answer, but I didn't want to say anything. So I can probably tell you almost as well as my story.

Kerry: 19:25

Yes, your sister's story, my sister's story, I'm sure you can.

Chrisy: 19:28

Although my one sister had way more bullying stories than the other one and again, probably should have just like let it go Right, but I had to hear about their bullshit too, and it's like, you know, double bullshit, my bullshit, you know, and then I'm trying to talk about my stuff.

Kerry: 19:44

But they have to outdo it and talk about theirs. No, they had it worse, they did, but you know what?

Chrisy: 19:51

Because I think that it bothered them a lot more than it bothered me.

Kerry: 19:53

Okay, right, Okay, yes.

Chrisy: 19:54

I'm hostile. Yes, I'm agitated.

Kerry: 19:56

Yes, yes, yes admitting is the first step, Chrissy.

Chrisy: 19:59

But I will be honest with you and tell you, yes, yes, I am a totally imperfect person, totally flawed. I will say things that aren't right. I will probably jump to a conclusion before I should. Please understand that I am a work in progress. We all are Forever and I do now. One thing age has done for me is help me try and at least reflect a little bit. And then the other thing I'm able to do a little bit more Now. My husband, I'm sure, will disagree with you, but I can in my own mind it doesn't verbalize, yeah, but I can in my own mind come to the conclusion that I was probably wrong. Well, that's a step.

Kerry: 20:39

Is it it?

Kerry: 20:39

doesn't give anybody else any satisfaction in my world, but I'm satisfied to know that I can admit that to myself, you know, I think for me, I still always somewhat try to be positive, I still try to see the good in people and I think that's like a coping mechanism that I try to deflect when I have those irritating thoughts or whenever I'm irritated at somebody or upset with somebody, and I still try to think of something good. In fact, my husband and I like, for instance, we'll be out driving somewhere and someone will pull out in front of them and he'll, you know, have some curse words about the person pulling out. And then here's me. I'll be like well, you don't know, maybe they're on their way to the hospital because you know they're having a baby or something. You know, it's just like, leave it to you to try to find something good.

Kerry: 21:24

And I'm like I it's. But I realized that's a coping mechanism that I've done, because when people have been mean to me or mistreated me, I'm still trying to find the good in people, but giving them a pass. I know sometimes I do, but it sucks to me, you know. Yeah, it's like I'm looking for that silver lining. You know, I'm trying to find something.

Chrisy: 21:44

I'm sitting here. Are you looking at me? You are looking at me. Do you see the look on my face? You're horrified Like we could do a whole episode on the look that Chrissy's giving me right now you are giving these people a fact, you are making them a story that they to probably be happy to use as an excuse for why they're an idiot, but I'm trying to find a way to not be bitter.

Kerry: 22:07

I guess, and I don't know, but yes, I do. Well, you know, I don't know where comes a point. But I will say there does come a point with me where it's OK. I have maybe given people a pass, I have maybe tried to find you know the good, or kind of looked past and maybe forgiven a lot more than I should have. But there will come a time when enough is enough with me, and then it's all about healthy boundaries and I have no problem for that point. And then at that point it's no longer rainbows and unicorns, now it's, like you know, wrath and destruction. So I do get to your point. It just sometimes takes me a little longer.

Chrisy: 22:41

Takes you longer, yeah. So I do get to your point. It just sometimes takes me a little longer, takes you longer, yeah, and probably people look at me and say you know, you really don't need to get to that point so quickly.

Kerry: 22:47

Yeah, you don't need to go from zero to ten in one second.

Chrisy: 22:50

No, I guess not, I guess not. You know, my husband's a little bit more with your philosophy, I think that you know, maybe giving them a little bit of a pass. One thing is I react quickly yeah, probably, and I've tried harder not to because I realized when I do that I do come to, probably most of the time, the wrong conclusion. But one thing I've learned to do is I get my husband on the case and I talk to him about it.

Chrisy: 23:24

Yeah, he expects me to. Totally right, then, and there give him my notes on the situation which I do. But I know I got his number after all this time and he will take it and he will process it and then he'll sit there and think about it and generally within 24 hours now he's really angry, but then by then I'm like, oh, not well, never over it. Yeah, but I'm at a different place than him.

Kerry: 23:50

Cause we're not bitter.

Chrisy: 23:51

No, no, no no.

Kerry: 23:53

See, I think that's where my husband and I are a little bit different, but it's still kind of a similar relationship.

Kerry: 24:04

So, you know he will will be if someone does me wrong. Oh, look out, he's like boom, he's right on it, so he won't take 24 hours to get there. He's like on it. If I'm upset, he's like on it right away. But, um, but I will definitely try to find the softer side of of of things first usually and try to be like yeah well, you don't, you don't know what's going on in their life.

Chrisy: 24:20

I mean, you know, yeah, but maybe we can just a little bit touch on medium grow medium, medium ground boy. I tell you, I don't know where that is, I'm either on the one I'm on the hill or I'm in the damn hole, but um, therapy, which we uh totally encourage, uh I. If you need that, it's nothing to be ashamed of and you should do it. Um, but everyone's got to find their what works for them what works for them.

Chrisy: 24:46

Because I I was going to try therapy. I went to a couple of people. Yeah, and what's funny with me?

Kerry: 24:52

is you had the therapist on the couch by the end of the session no, I just I would go to a session, and then they would refer me somewhere else.

Chrisy: 25:00

Oh no, uh, and generally it had to do with look, I'm not a medical doctor, uh-huh but. And then they would refer me somewhere else. Oh, no, and generally it had to do with look, I'm not a medical doctor. And then they would scribble incognito some medications they thought might help me and they're like look, just maybe talk to your medical doctor about this. And so I'd take a little slip of paper and put it in my bag and move on. The second one I went to.

Chrisy: 25:20

I sat and spilled my damn guts all over the place and talked to them and they don't usually give you a lot of feedback right away, or at least the ones I went to Tell me how you feel, chrissy, well, they never said that. I don't think they wanted me to tell them anything. But so by the end of that second one I said okay, and again with the little paper and the names of some nice medications they thought might help me. And then I said, so, do I need to make another appointment? I'm like I'll say I'm like, no, no.

Chrisy: 25:46

Oh you don't need any more appointments, no more therapy. Just talk to your medical doctor, you know, and see if they can help you with the. See what they think about the medicine track. So here we are. Yeah, podcast, podcast. So if you have a therapist who's telling you. No, you don't need another session with me.

Kerry: 26:06

I did not have quite that experience, because I too have tried therapy several times over the years and different situations here and there, and after two or three sessions I was just like there was no connection and it was just. It just didn't do. It didn't work for me. But this talking to my close friends, to my inner circle, to my safe space of people, this is what it, this is my therapy.

Kerry: 26:32

My chosen family so you know and I use that phrase a lot in my life my chosen family, and it's actually offended my real family, and I don't understand quite why. Because they didn't act the way they did. Well, yeah, there's that, but but it's also a matter you know, to me, chosen family is no, it's not necessarily degrading your blood family, but your chosen family is your people that you want around you, the people that get you, the people that listen to you, the people that you feel safe talking to, that you can have these conversations, you know it's your friend that you've had for 20 years and you know, maybe only talk to once a year, but when you get together you can be yourself and you know normal and talk in openness about so. Yeah, so that's.

Kerry: 27:16

I never felt like going to therapy. It just never worked for me because I felt like I was trying to create a family that I didn't want to be with. So so, yes, so this podcast and having these conversations and everything is more therapy. I learn more about myself. I mean, even like today, I kind of made that realization like, oh, I think I give people a pass because I'm really trying to work through my own stuff, right, but Well, yeah, so I do envy people, though.

Chrisy: 27:41

I've heard some big success stories where people can find a therapist.

Kerry: 27:45

And that's awesome.

Chrisy: 27:46

That they click with. Yeah, they're comfortable with, and I've heard people going to the same one for a very long time. Right, I mean, go for it.

Kerry: 27:54

Yeah, that is wonderful.

Chrisy: 27:56

If you're lucky enough to find that, it's awesome and hopefully you know that, you recognize that and you can continue that. To give credit to those couple therapists that I went to who said no, no, don't make any more appointments, just give the little slip of paper to your medical doctor. They did fine. I am open about it. I do take an antidepressant and it's wonderful. I love it. I definitely noticed a difference. Now there's a lot of people who do not want to take anything and I get that mean you got to do what you got to do. Some people find help in dietary changes.

Kerry: 28:27

you know finding some natural help through uh or exercise or meditation or yoga, right you know, but uh, yeah, I mean you know well, I, um, I don't take depression medicine but but I do take anxiety medicine and I started on that about two and a half years ago when my father was on his last ends of his days and when he passed away and I realized how much anxiety has been part of my life and I never recognized that before life and I never recognized that before and but it's, it was even as early as these childhood things Like now, looking back, I can see where how much anxiety I had and I was suppressing it. I wasn't talking about the elephant in my own head with my anxiety and but yeah, so I've been on that medication for a couple years and it's same thing life changing has truly made you know, and it's the same thing Life-changing has truly made things a lot easier.

Chrisy: 29:24

We all need a little bit of a kick in the rear once in a while. But again, it's about what works for you, what balance, and some people don't feel they should be discussing that. It's personal to them, so you absolutely should. Find your safe space. That is a safe space.

Kerry: 29:42

And maybe it's just sitting here and listening to us talk about our zits on our heads.

Chrisy: 29:47

It's and being called Chrissy Pissy when you left the house. But so, yeah, well, this has been very therapeutic.

Kerry: 29:56

today, I hope that you all got something out of this as well as we did. We are going to put a poll up on our Facebook page, so we're going to ask to share about your childhood nicknames and things. We'll put that on there. Love to get your feedback. We also really would love your feedback as far as what do you think about our podcast so far? Those five star ratings that really will help us on iTunes or whatever your podcast you're listening through. But also, if you want to check us out on Facebook, we're going to have some additional show notes and things that we'll talk about and share. Maybe we'll find a picture. Maybe we could post a picture of our zits on our faces.

Chrisy: 30:36

Oh my God, Nobody will want to see that. But, five star rating. Definitely Everybody will help and remember, because no therapist wanted to deal with me. So give me that five-star rating. That'll help be a nice boost kick to my medication. On top of that, I'll be flying high, I will love it, you'll be doing good for me too out there.

Kerry: 31:02

Well, we hope everyone has a great week and we certainly hope that you tune in next week. Who knows what we'll be talking about next week, but we certainly hope you enjoyed today's show. So see you later. Goodbye.