Navigating the Rollercoaster of Caring for Aging Parents

Ever think about the role reversal of caring for aging parents? Tune in as we dive into the chaos, memories, and laughter that come with this new chapter in life! 

Chapters

• 0:07 Challenges of Aging Parents
• 11:03 Managing Aging Parents' Medications and Memories
• 23:40 Elderly Parent Humor and Challenges

Transcript

DJ Nick: 0:07

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies podcast, where we may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry

Kerry: 0:19

Hello, Dysfunction Junkies. I'm Kerry and

Chrisy: 0:22

I'm Chrissy.

Kerry: 0:22

Welcome to your safe space.

Chrisy: 0:27

Oh my we have a topic today, chrissy. Yeah, this one's gonna. We're gonna try and make it as good as possible, but it's dysfunction it's dysfunction, it's a little heavy, but it's reality.

Kerry: 0:36

Yeah, it's aging parents.

Kerry: 0:38

Yeah, yeah and this was, again, one of the big reasons why we wanted to do this podcast was because we're kind of going through similar things. Yes, both of our fathers have passed away. Yes, and now we have our moms that are in their 80s and getting to the point of life where we are now becoming the parents and we are taking care of them, and it has its challenges and, I tell you, humor is the only way that I get through. In fact, with my sister who helps take care of my mom, we do, we text about things and we talk about things and we laugh because we're like we have to laugh because that's the only way we can get through it. Right, how are you hanging in there?

Chrisy: 1:15

I'm not I'm a horrible parent to an elderly person.

Kerry: 1:21

A horrible parent to an elderly child. Yes.

Chrisy: 1:28

I'm not always micromanaging it, probably because I wasn't micromanaged.

Kerry: 1:29

Oh yeah, that's true. That's true, you had freedom as a child.

Chrisy: 1:33

Yeah, so I just assume, leaving an 80 plus person to their own devices is completely acceptable. Some people may not agree with that, but I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? She wants to do her own thing, go for it. But yeah, no, it is. It's tough, it's not having the other parent. My father's been gone a little bit longer than yours, and nothing prepares you for this. No, it doesn't.

Kerry: 1:59

And speaking of preparation, I have to ask did your parents have a will power of attorney? Did they have their shit in order is what I want to know.

Chrisy: 2:08

Well, as far as whatever, my, because my mom was handling everything when my father passed so you know, whatever they had, I guess was appropriate. But what about?

Kerry: 2:16

your mom now? Does she have everything ready?

Chrisy: 2:18

Yeah, she has. She has, you know, it's sort of been an ongoing project to sort of build and things have changed Right. Other types of things have changed in our family, so things had to be.

Kerry: 2:30

It evolves, right, it evolves.

Chrisy: 2:32

But I guess.

Kerry: 2:34

I will say like since, because of the age gap. So, like you, my sisters are a lot older than me. So from the time I was little, my parents kind of casually had their paperwork in order. So like when, when they had their house, they had me on the deed of the house, because then that way I was on it for so long and, you know, then you avoid other issues with probate and things like that whenever they should pass away. So some things were in order.

Kerry: 3:02

And then my mom always did talk about, like you know well, first of all she always said she was never going to leave her house. You're always going to have to take her out on a pinewood box. That was the only way she was leaving her house. But then, as the years started going by and she was more kind of understanding that, oh, if something happens, it was always like, well, I would live with you or I would live with my one sister that she's currently with right now. So even though there was five of us, she kind of always was like, well, the two of you would be the ones I would live with, just because of location. You know, my other sisters live farther away. Lifestyle, you know, it's just different things like that. So nothing against my other sisters, but it was just like this would be the most compatible, so that was good. This would be the most compatible, so that was good. And we did have a lot of conversations about, like the end of life stuff. So, like you know, she didn't want to be on life support and all of that. And I will have to say, if you aren't having those conversations with your parents, if you've never had those conversation with your parents, please have the conversation, because it'll make your life easier when you get to the point of where, like Chrissy and I are now, if at least you've had some of those things.

Kerry: 4:08

So but right now, my mom, she was living with us after she had a medical episode. She was no longer able to work, no longer able to drive and really shouldn't have been home alone. So she lived with me and my husband for a year. Then it got to be not safe because we were still working full time. So we had cameras up on the house and while we were at work I like literally had, like, the surveillance cameras up on my desk so I could keep an eye on her, make sure she was safe.

Kerry: 4:31

But she started doing things that were not safe. She started wandering, dimension, a little Alzheimer's setting in, she started wandering. We live on a major road, it was just not safe. And she wanted to walk to church, oh boy. And the church was only a quarter mile from our house, but it's a major road, yeah. And so she kept saying, well, I'm just going to walk. And we're like, no, now, mind you, we took her to church every day, yeah, 7 am, every morning, every day. Yes, god, wow. But she really wanted. That was her, you know her. Her safe spot was her safe space. You know she didn't have a podcast, she had the church. Everybody needs something. But she kept wanting to walk there and we're like no.

Kerry: 5:13

And there was a couple of times like, literally, she got to the end of the driveway and like we're chasing her down. We're like Mom, where are you going? Oh boy, I'm not going anywhere. And we're like it's like you're walking the church. No, no, I wasn't. Yes, she was, so anyway. So we kept catching her, you know, going down there. And then we had a couple episodes where, like, she was pretty good about not cooking during, you know, she had gotten to the point where she would, let you know, didn't handle things in the kitchen. We had meals on wheels, would come deliver lunch during the day, so she had a hot lunch and then, you know, we were there in the morning for breakfast and dinner and stuff. But it got to the point where she was starting to cook and was, you know, left the gas on the stove and one point almost caught her nightgown on fire.

Kerry: 5:58

And that was when we're like OK, it's time. So she now lives with my sister, who's home full time and her husband's home and they have a lot of kids that are in and out, so it's a safer, safer place for her. But, yeah, it's, it's, it's exhausting taking caring of a of an older child like that.

Chrisy: 6:15

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Chrisy: 6:17

And well, if there's any piece of advice I can give from my point of view is that I felt quite a while back after my father passed away that the house that I kind of grew up pretty much grew up in and where my mother was living it was a lot of house for one person and I just thought she should get something more appropriate for her early on. And I was actually pregnant when my father was sick and passed away with my first child. So I hadn't had kids yet and I felt fairly young, although I was older, having kids, but my mom was younger. If there's any advice, if you decide, there's just one of two things either when it's appropriate, a year or so after one of the father or your spouse is away probably good to try and get them relocated into something more comfortable for themselves, only because everybody is a lot younger and more manageable.

Chrisy: 7:14

Or you can leave them there until you take them out in that pine box, which I really am for once. Everybody gets way too old to do all this stuff. It was just getting to the point where my mom did leave her house not that long ago and instead of me being in my 30s and not having any kids or having one Right and her being younger and more manageable to do things.

Chrisy: 7:39

It happened when I was in my early 50s. I have three kids and she is much older and mobility isn't her best friend Right and it's very stressful yeah.

Kerry: 7:51

It was really hard because you know and I get it it's their home. It's their house, you know, and they don't want to leave because that's where they're comfortable. And as they age, you know, things are changing and that's why what comforts them is what, the memories that they have and they it's that muscle memory of their house. You know, like, oh, this is where my kitchen, this is where this is, and then to have to go someplace new and learn all over, like even little things, like getting out of bed in the middle of night, where do you go for the bathroom? You know, but it is hard and that was really a hard decision for my mom to finally sell the house and move in with myself and then, like I said, now, with my sister.

Kerry: 8:30

What was even harder was going through all the stuff. You know, 80 years of well, 50 some years being in one house, but 80 years of living, and all I have to say is kids, take your parents and go through the house and label the stuff now so you don't have to argue about it or worry about who's taking what. And that was probably kind of one of the hard things. My sisters and I were pretty amicable about it. But some of us, other than others, were more like look, I don't want the stuff. You know, it's just stuff and so in a way that makes it easier, but still it's a process and it's very draining and that whole preparing the house to sale, oh so hard.

Kerry: 9:10

But now that we're on the other side of it we're in a good spot, you know, but it's still. There's just so many things. But now we get to enjoy things like you know, little things, like you see how your parents are, like a child. So one of the things is the no filter. My mom, who was usually pretty good because, remember, we didn't talk about things, so my mom would never say anything bad, much less. You know. She wouldn't talk about anything, but she wouldn't say anything bad and I never even knew her to think about anything bad. So, for instance, if she saw somebody who was maybe overweight or whatever, she would have never. She would have just said nothing or she would have said, oh, their hair looked lovely today, like she would have had a nice compliment, where now my mom would just say they're fat wow oh yeah, right out there filter.

Kerry: 9:51

Oh boy so it is like having a little kid it is just way too honest yes, yes, and I'll be like mom, you can't say it, mom, that's not nice, you can't say that. And she, she'll be like well, it's true, like wow it still does.

Chrisy: 10:08

Yeah probably not at that one time. And then I'm done, you know we're not going anywhere together.

Chrisy: 10:14

I can't deal with all of that. Well, you know, my mom has what I call and she's kind of always had this. But as time has gone on and perspectives on what we need to be as a people has changed and evolved, yeah I say well, mom still kind of suffers from 1950s lingo oh gosh, which is really, and she's got it. So she comments on things. She's definitely prejudging or falling into stereotypes. It's, it's, it's. It's very crazy. I can tell stories, but I don't know, I don't want to offend everybody so early on in our podcast. But very funny stories, maybe we'll save for another day, oh yeah.

Kerry: 11:01

Yeah, we'll have. We'll have lots to talk about on this subject.

Kerry: 11:03

Yeah you know the other thing that are, you know, in your parents. Becoming like a child is like the medication. So, first of all, my mom, like almost her whole life, never took any medication and she was proud of it and she should be. And, honestly, up until she was like 83, she never had taken any. She didn't need any medication, right. But then she had some medical episodes and one thing led to another and now she's got like six medications and it was really hard to get her to take the medications, but we finally got into a good schedule and she was taking them.

Kerry: 11:34

Well, now we're reverting and now she'll be like she don't want to take them, so she'll wander around the house with the pills in her hand and we'll be like you're gonna take those. Oh, I already took them. It's like, no, they're still in your hand. Oh, boy, and it just finally we're just like, we do the best we can. You know, we've talked to her doctor and he's like you know, it's quality of life right now and but it's still. But it reminds me of trying to get your kid to take the medications, like can you shove them in a sandwich? Can you squish them in a juicy?

Chrisy: 12:03

I can tell you right now, having kids and I have one specifically that is very difficult to get to take medication. There's just one of two options. Yeah, You're going to take it that way, Because that's so. You've got two choices here. What's it going to be?

Kerry: 12:21

But now my mom is different though. Yeah, thank God. Okay, because I don't want to revert to that no With anybody. I was going to say I don't think that option two will work either for me. What? How's your mom different?

Chrisy: 12:31

Oh, medication time. Hello, where is?

Kerry: 12:34

it.

Chrisy: 12:35

Oh, she's normalized it oh well, yeah, she and she knows it too, she's and she. You better get it to her, because I mean she's staying with us right now and oh she'll, I hear her moving. And then I'm like, and then I'm like, uh-oh, what? Oh, wait a minute, what time? And then I hear yelling for me from down the steps. Uh, or she's yelling for my oldest daughter get your mom, I need my pills. Where's my pills? I need it.

Kerry: 13:00

I'm like, oh my god yeah, yeah, see, we went through a stage where she was taking them, but she would forget, like she would take them, and then a couple hours later she would forget that she took them and she'd think, oh, I have to take them. So that we had to start hiding the medicine. So, like now, it's nowhere where she has access to them, because if she does want to take them, she could take three doses, and so yeah, yeah oh well, that, no, that is scary.

Chrisy: 13:24

Yes, I do try to maintain those, as my sister uh did also when she was, you know, staying there too, and she doesn't understand why she can't, just because she did this her whole life. I can, I can manage this, I always managed it right but there is, and she was a school nurse. Well, yeah, if you want to say that I don't know what kind of nurse, that is. I don't mean to be insulting, but you know there is a very good chance that you can forget or drop.

Kerry: 13:52

Oh, that's a big worry too. When you've got dogs they drop the pills Dogs and kids. And yeah, kids too.

Chrisy: 14:01

And my kids are younger, so you just got to watch. You would hope they would think not to, but you don't know, they might feed it to the dog.

Kerry: 14:05

Or they might think it's candy on the floor.

Chrisy: 14:10

It's just easy to keep everything under lock and key. But going back to when you were talking about being difficult to get rid of a house because of the memories and just the comfort of knowing where everything is, that's your place. The one thing that I found so bizarre is that once in a while my mother would come up with this thing where she said she couldn't find something in the house Like I know and I couldn't find it, and then she says she found it somewhere else that she didn't shears, she didn't right, right, right. She would tell me that she feels like her. My father must have been mad at her, oh, and so he was moving the stuff. Oh, because he was trying to tell her he was mad oh, about what I don't know oh.

Chrisy: 14:55

And so, first of all, if this is what the afterlife is, that you just get to stay in the house you lived in, yeah, and you get to just screw with somebody oh, no, that's terrifying, yeah. And then sometimes I would try to counteract it by telling her well, I had a dream last night and dad told me to tell you oh, he didn't move it. That was good, smart chrissy. No, it it's horrible, it's lying.

Kerry: 15:19

Yeah, but this is the how did she feel whenever you told her that.

Chrisy: 15:25

I don't think she believed one bit of it, thank God, right, but I'm just like, can you tell how ridiculous this sounds, mom? Please don't tell me Dad's in the house and he's just walking around moving crap just to agitate you, because it's not anything he would have done when he was Right.

Kerry: 15:42

If that wasn't his nature in his living life, then I could see that.

Chrisy: 15:46

No my dad's nature was he stayed in front of his television. Now, if she would have told me that she felt he was still in his family room laying on the damn floor watching TV, then I would be like you know what that's possible. That is possible. I'm glad you left the TV down there for him, but moving stuff around he would have just thrown it away. You would have never found it again.

Kerry: 16:07

Well, that's why she can't find it, because maybe he did throw it away.

Chrisy: 16:10

I wish, I wish he would have threw everything out of that house away. Thank you, but yeah, I mean, what are you going to do with these aging parents? I know?

Kerry: 16:21

Yeah, and then you get to the point with the what worries me about all this is okay, what happens when I get that age? Like that's what I think about, like who's going to take care of me at that age? You know, like I have one son, I have a grandson and a granddaughter, so like I'm hoping you know, but still, it's just like, but I definitely am in the mindset of I will make it easier on them, like I'm already going through our house. I mean, we live, you know, we have things, but yeah, I don't hoard things, so like oh, but wait a minute, there's me.

Chrisy: 16:55

I'm on the other side.

Kerry: 16:56

Yeah, I know, as I said, that I'm like, oh, I probably just offended Chrissy.

Chrisy: 16:59

No, you didn't, no you didn't, because I know and it has made my life more. Now it is a nightmare and I feel sometimes like I'm drowning. So you've got to weed through this stuff, and my husband for pretty much ever since we've been together. We've got to get rid of some of this stuff.

Kerry: 17:19

You do not need your $6 million man doll anymore, chrissy, you just don't need it, which I do really have a six yeah, he doesn't have his jumpsuit anymore, though I don't know where it is so he's just got his naked, his underwear on his underoos yeah, and I do have my six million dollar man well, I know, you have that big wheel too.

Chrisy: 17:34

You said the big wheel I got. I got a lot of the Fisher Price toys that I did take, which my husband gets upset with because he says they're all filled with lead, so it's not like our kids should have ever played with them. And I was like, well, they're not allowed to play with that. Anyhow, that's my toy. Get them their own toy. I don't want anybody to play with my toys. I did the same when I was a kid. No, no, no, that's mine.

Kerry: 17:58

Because, even though we grew up with a family, we were only childs. Because of the age difference, you didn't have to share no, and you're still not sharing no, no, no, no, let it be damned. I'm just not sharing it because it's mine.

Chrisy: 18:10

So we are trying, yeah, and we will hopefully get to a better place, because less is better, less is much better. You have fun with it and then you have to realize that none of the stuff that they make was meant to be with you forever, anyhow.

Kerry: 18:26

Can't take it with you. Is that saying no you?

Chrisy: 18:28

can't yeah no. So might as well, get rid of it now, and then it's one less thing. So, yeah, I don't want to do that to my kids. Leave them a bunch of stuff or take care of me. Going back to what you're saying, who's going to take care of you? You're way ahead of me and I don't even think about that, because I guess I'm just going to have to hope that I get put somewhere where they're going to take care of me.

Chrisy: 18:52

I mean, if my kids want to help me out, fine, but you do try to tell them and in your mind you try to tell yourself.

Kerry: 19:07

I am not going to do some of these things, that you see I'm going crazy, right? Exactly, that's my point. Yes, who's to say?

Chrisy: 19:10

sometimes unfortunately, because I'm sure our parents probably said that about their parents.

Kerry: 19:12

Yeah, the dysfunction does repeat itself well, one of my christmas gifts to share to people is I. I saw it and it was just hysterical, I had to laugh. The cover of the it's a little book like a notebook and it says I'm dead. It's your problem now. Oh my, where did you, good lord Amazon, come?

Chrisy: 19:30

on Amazon.

Kerry: 19:32

That's my life too and when you open it up, it's basically like an end of life planner. So like it makes it really simple.

Kerry: 19:39

I know I would have to do so much drinking before I even opened up the cover of this thing, but it's good because it like opens it up and it says like you know what is the password to my computer, or whatever. And then or it says like where do you keep your wills? Or where do you keep your? You know, it's just a quick little notebook that if anything, you at least do that. If you haven't gone to an attorney and done all the formal stuff or whatever, which Jim and I have right, but still, this is kind of a nice, like you know, at least live, leave your kids that you know it's a quick reference, yeah, because, like I have this one friend and, gosh, they're getting it double whammy.

Kerry: 20:17

They live up here in northeast Ohio and the parents live down in cincinnati area, like south of ohio, so it's five hours away, and their parents are in the 80s and both of them just they. It's not safe to be home alone, it's not safe for them to be living alone. The one's very much got alzheimer's, the other's not too far. They're not taking their medicine, right, they're not. I mean, they, just they. So they're in the process of trying to like OK, we have to step in. And of course the parents are like, no, I'm fine, we're fine. It's like, no, you're not fine, you're clearly not fine. You've been in the hospital because of whatever, you've fallen because of whatever. So now, but they have nowhere, they don't know, like, how to get into nothing, there's no planning. And so I just feel for them, because not only they're going through it with one parent, but they're going through two, and then they got the five-hour distance. So, yeah, my Christmas present to those that I love this year has been the workbook. I'm Dead at your Problem Now.

Chrisy: 21:14

Yeah, if at least do that. Yeah, I love you, carrie, and I know you love me, but can. And I know you love me, but can I just request not to get that book.

Kerry: 21:22

Do you don't want it on next year's?

Chrisy: 21:23

Christmas list? No, please, oh my God. So, and now I lost my dad. I was still in my 30s, but I was in my 30s, and you, within the last five years, your dad passed away.

Kerry: 21:38

Yeah, yeah, it's been three years. Three years, okay. Within the last five years, your dad passed away. Yeah, yeah, it's been three years.

Chrisy: 21:41

Three years, okay, so we've been fortunate to have our parents as long and we still have our moms and even though you might sit here and you're aggravated and you're doing all this stuff with them and they make you crazy, you have to try and think that you are fortunate.

Kerry: 21:55

Yes, oh 100%.

Chrisy: 21:56

Well, and not to bring it up, but my husband. He is something very unusual, but when we first started dating and everything, he lost both of his parents when he was 19., 19. And they passed away within three months of each other.

Kerry: 22:11

Oh my God, that's horrible.

Chrisy: 22:13

Right, so, as much as you know, we are dealing with this and sometimes we don't look at how lucky we are to have them as long as we do. Yeah, and it is, it is a blessing. Yeah, but uh, there are some days where sometimes I think he might be lucky I know what you mean by that and I don't mean that anything against him or his mom and dad.

Kerry: 22:35

They were lovely, right and you're not wishing anything against your mom, but it's just I get it. I guess like oh yeah, there's some days.

Chrisy: 22:42

Can you just imagine that you washed your hands of this a long time ago, right, or? Yeah, I mean, or maybe they go to you know somewhere sunny.

Kerry: 22:50

Yeah, even that, not even passing away, just maybe going yeah and living where you're tanning all the time a snow, a snow slowly cooking yourself to death down in florida somewhere.

Chrisy: 23:00

That sounds perfect for me. As far as for you, yeah yeah, no, I absolutely.

Kerry: 23:10

And and that's one thing my my one sister and I talk about a lot is that. You know as difficult as it is and as exhausting as some days are, I, every, I go see my mom every week. I help, you know, I try to give help my sister out, just like she helped me out when mom was with me. I just look at every day like this is a blessing and this is a blessing that I'm able to be with her. It's a blessing that I'm able to, you know, do these things with her, even when she embarrasses me when she does certain things in public, because there's lots of stories of things that she's done. She had a little incident in church not too long ago where she accidentally stepped on her slip as she was kneeling to leave and so her slip went down around her ankles in church and so I like hurried up and knelt down behind her and like got her slip before anyone could notice.

Chrisy: 23:57

But again, look at how much of a lady your mom is. She's still wearing a slip. That is fantastic. Good for her.

Kerry: 24:06

She is a true lady, but she was so embarrassed and I'm like, thank gosh, it was after mass and so of course we're in like pew one. So whenever she stepped out, everyone else had turned around, so really nobody saw. Thank you, jesus, but literally literally turned around, so really nobody saw.

Kerry: 24:22

Thank you, jesus. But uh, literally, literally. But so we're, we're like walking out of church and we're chuckling and stuff. And then when we get out of church I says, mom, I really know you like the priest, but you gotta stop stripping in church for them she laughed.

Kerry: 24:36

You know we laughed, but that's what I'm saying is like we have to find the humor and things like. Instead of going like oh my gosh, you know like we found the's, what I'm saying is like we have to find the humor in things like instead of going like oh my gosh, you know, like we found the humor and we chuckle about it and we joke about it?

Chrisy: 24:46

who? Do you slip a 22 to get that front seat? Nobody. Are you just that grandfathered in because church logistics is there's certain people who get up front all the time. I mean they are closer to god right there. I think that might be the idea. I don't know, because I would never. Yeah, I can't get as far back. I far, far back to me is maybe in the lobby so vestibule yeah just like sort of putting my head to the door and listening.

Kerry: 25:19

Oh no, no, she's usually top one, two, three rows In fact, the one little church that we go to, when she was close to my house, in one of the pews they have a little marker that was in memory of somebody that always sat in that spot. Oh, that's creepy, oh my gosh. I've said a lot of times, like when we go into that church because mom will be like this is my seat, and I'll say to her I'm like yep, you're gonna be the next marker, we're gonna get you one of these plaques, and she's like, well, yeah, this neat, this it is, you know, and she, yeah, she's all for it.

Kerry: 25:53

Really have a little placard that tells you who used to sit there all the time yes, it's like an in memory of somebody that's oh my god, I am horrified wow, I really do think that whenever my mom passes away, that I, I, I think that we're gonna get a, a marker for her, for that pew because you, you like, put a picture of them sitting there too, so that people not only see their name, but then see what it used to look like when they said Because isn't it horrifying if you walk through a cemetery and I know this is a thing they do, but they have pictures?

Chrisy: 26:30

Yeah, Like when I was young because I lived not as close to cemeteries as you did, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, but we had a very big catholic cemetery by oh yeah, you did.

Kerry: 26:38

You had a big one like the biggest area.

Chrisy: 26:41

It is the one yeah, in our area where we're from, and a lot of the older stones had those pictures on them and it was fascinating.

Kerry: 26:49

Were you meaning the ones that were like engraved, like a picture?

Chrisy: 26:53

you're talking the actual picture picture.

Kerry: 26:55

Yeah, it was actually a picture and some of them were it. No, they were, you're talking the actual picture picture. Yeah, it was actually a picture, and some of them were very old pictures but they were pictures.

Chrisy: 27:00

And the other cool thing was, if it hadn't broken off of the gravestone was they'd have covers. So you kind of have to flip it up to look at the picture and then flip it down. I think that might have been there to sort of protect it from weathering damage and stuff. Yeah, but the pew wow, wow, wow we might have to elevate that. I'll have to see I would like to buy one hopefully should be a long around time.

Chrisy: 27:25

So yes, we do I would love to see, maybe just buying a space, if you had extra disposable income and have like one would would say, like in memory of Fred and in memory of Barney, like Fred and Barney sat here. Just to mess with people? Oh my gosh, that would be hilarious to me.

Kerry: 27:46

I think the wax figure, though Just put a whole wax figure of the person.

Chrisy: 27:50

The 3D print. Yeah, 3D print.

Kerry: 27:52

There you go. We could just get a 3D print and there'll be sitting there. There's Bonnie sitting there this is getting me too awkward well, like we said, we have to find ways to make humor, because this was a heavy subject today.

Chrisy: 28:06

One more thing before we leave is a very funny thing, it's with my mom because we have tried to talk about assisted living and going to certain places and, first of all, she thinks she's too young for assisted living, which is terrifying, and she is 84 and I have taken her places and she gets very hostile because she sees everybody like one time we were walking through getting a tour of one place and a lady was coming at us with her walker and I said this is right, the moment I lose my mother because she's gonna see this woman walking at us and my mom is not walking fantastic either and she probably could use a walker.

Chrisy: 28:40

But she refuses and I'm like it's done and it was. She totally freaked out. She's like you want to put me there. I'm not that old and so I say to myself where am I going to put you mom? And my only concept of where I could stick her is maybe drop her off at a big office building during the day, because she seems to think that 40s and 50 year olds are where she should be hanging.

Chrisy: 28:59

So maybe I could just set her up in someone's cube and say can she stay here from eight to five and maybe drop her off at home when you're done? The other thing is that the question my mom always asks if we do go into any sort of community type setting, either of the person who is running the place, which is totally embarrassing, or she'll ask me. She wants to know what the woman to man ratio is. No, she wants to know what her chances are.

Chrisy: 29:24

You know, wow, right, yeah, but that's the thing, that's where I'd rather her slip fall down in church, because that is just and you're not saying she'd rather slip and fall in church.

Kerry: 29:36

You're saying she wouldn't slip to fall down like my mom did.

Chrisy: 29:40

Oh, yeah, yeah the slip comes down out of her skirt because she nailed on it Instead of asking people that question. It's like oh my God, so she's like boy crazy at 84.

Kerry: 29:53

But that's common in these elderly homes. That's why a lot of things pop up in there.

Chrisy: 29:58

They got to deal with.

Kerry: 29:58

They have a lot of STDs. You need public health to come in there. I can't imagine.

Chrisy: 30:04

Forget the high school issue.

Kerry: 30:06

They should be doing the sex talk at these places instead of giving these people some updated training on behavior Because they didn't have the sex talk in high school when they're in the 50s, because you know we, maybe we need to terrify them, but although maybe some of them, are thinking death might be a welcome oh, I knew you could turn this around. I tried. It's a hard subject but I know so yeah, please everybody.

Chrisy: 30:35

Hopefully this helps.

Kerry: 30:36

Oh it does, yes, and just know we're all going through it. You know most of us our age, you know high school people that we went to are all going through the same thing, so probably we had to talk about it today. Yeah, and safe space, safe space.

Chrisy: 30:50

So please leave us if you have some great mom and dad stories.

Kerry: 30:53

Oh yeah, We'd love to hear them. We'd love to hear them Because chances are, we've probably experienced it too, or, if we haven't, we'll know what's coming. Oh yeah, that's even better. All right, everyone, thanks for listening today. Don't forget to leave us those five-star ratings, and we'll see you next week. Bye-bye, bye you.