Dysfunction Junkies
Two high school besties reconnect and commiserate their stories as they navigate the dysfunctions of life from marriage, families, illness, death of childhood families, and creating healthy boundaries. Join them each week as Chrisy and Kerry share their stories and life lessons all with a zest of wit, humor, and love. They may not have seen it all, but they have seen enough!
Dysfunction Junkies
Kiss the Blarney Stone and Send in the Clowns
Get ready for some laughs and insightful discussions as we tackle one of Ireland's most bizarre traditions—the Blarney Stone! In this episode, we dive deep into the peculiarities of the custom where visitors kiss a stone hanging upside down from the castle ledge. As we unravel the layers of this quirky tradition, we also weave in personal anecdotes from our own family stories including the fact that both ladies had parents who were clowns. With a mix of humor and sincerity, we examine how our childhood experiences shaped our perspectives today. Join us as we reflect on the absurdities of family dynamics and tradition, inviting you to share your own stories. Whether they are endearing or cringeworthy, we know our listeners have unique experiences that resonate. Don’t forget to check out our website and share your thoughts—we love hearing from you!
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Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies podcast. We may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry.
Kerry:Hello Junkies, I'm Kerry
Chrisy:and I'm Chrisy.
Kerry:How are you doing today, Chrisy?
Chrisy:You know I'm doing well. In our last episode we talked a lot about St Patrick's Day and the joy of it for a lot of people and the involvement and having a very good time.
Kerry:Yes.
Chrisy:And I've got to go back to this Blarney Stone thing, because after we talked about it you went online.
Chrisy:And you know, I've heard about the Blarney Stone but I never really was interested enough to look it up. I encourage everybody out there to see what, what the hell is going on here, because this is bad and we're not Irish, we're not part of Ireland, we have no say in this. But I might encourage some other people. She's showing me a picture right now which she showed me earlier sad and I'm. We're not irish, we're not part of ireland, we have no say in this, but it might encourage some other people. She's showing me a picture right now which she showed me earlier. They have a woman I'm guessing it's a woman upside down on her back. Yes, I mean, this is questionable on so many levels. It looks like she's in a guillotine or whatever you call that thing. Oh my gosh it does you're right?
Kerry:and they're gonna take her head any minute. This is not an easy position. No, like this isn't like.
Chrisy:You have to be somewhat flexible to kiss this blarney stone well, it looks like she's hovering like in the exorcist above the ground and it does appear there's a priesthood which this is just wrong on so many. Is that gentleman a priest?
Kerry:I don't think he's a priest, I think he's just a worker.
Chrisy:His choice of clothing is poor at best because it's black and it looks like a priest.
Kerry:You're basically turning your head upside down yes, I'm trying to find another view for you it looks like a torture.
Chrisy:Uh, I have. I have to just say I hope that they're having a lot of good luck. Definitely, I would ask my junkies out there to Google this, if you're interested.
Kerry:We'll put one on our Facebook page.
Chrisy:Yeah, it's fascinating.
Kerry:I would have see now this view here. Look at that gap. I mean that's high up. This is at the top of a castle. So anyone with a slight fear of heights, you know you're bending over backwards, putting your head down through this hole to kiss the stone. That's got to be slightly.
Chrisy:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Who's cleaning that? That's you got to have a stick Look how dirty that wall is.
Kerry:Look at the black staining. Well.
Chrisy:I can only guess when the foundation of this castle is dating back to, Because you know, over there stuff is it's not America old, it's Europe old.
Kerry:It's.
Chrisy:Ireland. I understand Ireland's, not Europe. Ireland old it's, you know, but this is like several stories up in the air.
Kerry:This isn't the ground. What if you?
Chrisy:slid through. Is there like a gap that you could slide through? That's what I'm saying Is there like a gap that you can slide through? That's what I'm saying.
Kerry:I mean, a thin person could probably fit through that. But look at all the icky it's like when you go into the doctor's office and the chair's against the wall and you see the grease stains above every chair from people's heads. That's what's on this wall.
Chrisy:I remember that from our fellow classmates when we were in high school, because of that stuff that we used to put in our hair, do you ever remember they'd lean up against the chalkboard?
Kerry:and they'd leave a mark on the chalkboard from that good old I'm just talking about, like any place in general, but still, look at that's, that's human body oil on that wall I understand that, and have you noticed in the pictures you've shown me?
Chrisy:these women are questionable as far as their level of enjoyment in life.
Kerry:Well, there's a couple guys.
Chrisy:Look, this person's stuck.
Kerry:Can I see maybe someone of a larger capacity? There is no one of size.
Chrisy:Because they ain't going to be able to stop you if you go down.
Kerry:See, look here you can see the spacing of the bars, although I guess you won't be able to slide through the little envelope there. Yeah really Wow. Yeah, so we'll post this picture.
Chrisy:And we're sorry, we're not trying to like.
Kerry:This is how tall the castle is.
Chrisy:Yeah, and stuff there. It's like usually up on a hill, it looks like from pictures and Ireland, a beautiful country, Beautiful.
Kerry:It is. I would love to go see some of these castles and stuff because I do think that would be really cool, but you wouldn't get.
Chrisy:No, I would not be kissing the way you were describing it. I thought it sounded like when you go into an MRI or something, they slide you through that little circle. I'll have an MRI before I kiss the Barney stone. I guess I don't know, oh boy. All right Well we needed to revisit that because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. The Larney Castle was almost 600 years old 600 years old. It was built in 1446. Wow.
Kerry:Yeah, that's impressive.
Chrisy:That's actually probably considered fairly new for Ireland.
Kerry:So, yeah. So, updates, updates, let's see what's going on. So, uh, yeah, life, uh, at the farm, and everything is still clicking away, still waiting for spring to come. Uh, on the mom update, yeah, it's been a little challenging with mom. The last you know ever since christmas she really hasn't she got sick, and then it's it's really been kind of a slow, like she has a couple bad days and she has a good day and a couple bad days and a good day, and yeah, it's just been really a struggle. It's been really difficult to see her decline in that way and needing more care and everything, and so it's it's hard.
Kerry:It's hard when you're you see your family member declining. It's like you're how do I word it? You're losing that, like you've already lost them in some ways because they're not the same people as they were before. You know, like now I'm taking care of this adult child and you know, and they're just not the parent of the past, and so you're mourning the loss of your parent, even though they're still here. So how are things on your front? How, how's, how's everything going?
Chrisy:parent update yeah, parent update. Well, I'll give you a full update. Okay, my dad is still dead, so there's one parent update out of the way oh, chrissy, you never see.
Kerry:Good to know dad has not risen from the dead. Okay, good to know.
Chrisy:No, and I yeah, mom is fine. Uh, again just trying to you know, help her, get her what she needs as an adult. And and just interacting with my mother at this level, coming to terms with what I, you learn to know your mom in a different way your parents in a different way.
Kerry:Oh, yes, yes.
Chrisy:And my father's been gone for a while, so I really did not get to go to this point with him, right You're?
Kerry:right.
Chrisy:Yeah, he was still the dad. He still had a lot to say and do and was still very independent. His illness came on quickly and, unfortunately, we lost him pretty quickly, so I didn't really deal with a long period of time of decline. It was very fast, yeah, but my mom is very needy and this is probably not any problem on her part. Yeah, it's the fact that I have always been the one who's needy the shoe is on the other, and somebody in the house and my husband understood this, I think, early on, and has expressed his unhappiness with it a lot in the past 30 years. Yeah, at times, yeah, but he gets it. Like I said, my husband gets me.
Kerry:I'm very lucky in that.
Chrisy:Doesn't mean he gets it. Like I said, my husband gets me. I'm very lucky in that. It doesn't mean he likes it, but he has to take the good with the bad. I sometimes try to understand. What is he getting out of it? That's good. Sometimes I try to ask him and then he falls asleep. He doesn't tell me. I actually try to ask him that. I know he's going to fall asleep. I don't want to be told anything. I don't want to hear. But yeah, my mom is real needy and I just probably never noticed this right because I was needy. I want, I want, give, give, don't bother me, I don't want you right. So now that I'm really focused on her, yes, and trying to help her, there's a lot of needs there that I find myself having some hostility about, because I just am not wired that way to be caregiver but I'm trying.
Kerry:It's like you said before you were not micromanaged as a child, so it's hard. This is a big adjustment for you to micromanage as an adult to your parents you know, because it's not how you were.
Chrisy:This, that was not part of your growing up it wasn't part of your family's dynamics, so no, and although it was not micromanaged, mmm, I was the victim if you want to use that word, of being put in situations yeah that I find myself horrified by, and Now that I've been a parent for a while, Okay, that I would not do? Like what Well exposing your children to certain things that they probably don't need to be exposed to? Well, one episode we talked about the superstitions.
Chrisy:Oh, yes, uh-huh, yes and understanding my mother, obviously, and there's no like logical explanation for any of these superstitions, right? One other thing I'm not going to touch on the ones. Please go back. It's a very good episode, I think, of certain things you just get fed that you're supposed to do to avoid bad luck, I guess, or something horrible. And I don't think I touched on this and if I did remind me. But the one thing she did do to me was I had this beautiful ring that she bought me when, I think, I was like 16. Okay, and it had some little diamonds in it, and then the middle part was an opal, okay.
Kerry:No, you hadn't talked about this, no.
Chrisy:Okay. So I had an opal, but the opal is not my birthstone, okay, but it is a stone that I think is very pretty and I liked it. Well, my mother decided after a while I probably didn't even have the ring a year that my luck wasn't running as good as it could be, oh my gosh. So she took away my ring and she took the opal. She took it to a jeweler and had the opal removed and replaced with some piece of turquoise, which is Is that your birthstone? No, oh, but it's. I don't know that it's actually established for it might be. I don't know if turquoise is anybody's birthstone. Oh, I don't know why. She thought that was a neutral stone, but the opal was gone.
Chrisy:Oh, that's horrible.
Kerry:I still have my ring.
Chrisy:Oh, it's put away. I don't wear it, yeah, because in my mind it was damaged.
Kerry:Right.
Chrisy:Yeah. So she felt because I was wearing an opal that was not my birthstone, it was bringing on bad luck. Bad luck, so don't know where this came from, is anybody? So there, she destroyed my jewelry. The other thing is, she decided that my self-confidence was not where it should be, and so she decided I don't know how she arranged this, but she did because my mother was good at arranging certain things. If she put her mind to it, generally she was doing her own thing, but then if she felt she needed to do something, usually that was going to turn bad. She somehow scored me into a pageant because she felt that would help build my self-confidence. And how old were you? 16.
Kerry:At 16, you're going through this must have been like right about when we met.
Chrisy:It was, we were friends. Yeah, because I remember telling you about it.
Kerry:Yeah. Why didn't I get to go to this pageant though?
Chrisy:Well, for what? It was awful? It was so awful and I know there's a culture, yeah, and there's been movies and TV shows about it.
Kerry:And.
Chrisy:I'm going to tell you right now, just from my experience.
Chrisy:Yeah they are horrible things and they do not build confidence. Confidence, any girl that I met, this was my one and only forte in this. That's why I don't know who the hell she finangled with to get me in this, because I was not a regular participant in these things. Everybody who I met and it was for the state, it was a finalist in the state of Ohio. Oh, Teen pageant, oh my gosh, but maybe that's an organization I don't know, maybe there's several of them. Yeah, there, probably is. Yeah, but I was able to do one where it was in the capital, down in Columbus. Okay, and there were 50 girls competing from all over the state. Huh, I wonder why not 88.
Kerry:Because we have 88 counties in the state of Ohio.
Chrisy:It wasn't really by county, oh, okay. It was more by city, okay, or?
Kerry:Regions or something.
Chrisy:Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay so it does not build self-confidence no you are competing with, first of all, what I would call career pageant girls oh yeah, they've been doing it since childhood. Yes, yes, that is. And they go to one the following weekend, right and the. They find these things yes they were off my radar until my mother's expensive hobby.
Kerry:I don't I don't know if the hobby is the right word, but it's expensive to be in those. Those aren't cheap to do Between your wardrobe and the makeup and the hair extensions and everything else no, and you get slammed into.
Chrisy:You have to rehearse for an opening number. Never been one for choreographed dance. I wanted to be, but was not. I so much said that I don't even like those dances that you do at the bar or at weddings.
Kerry:You're not like a Cupid Shuffle fan. Cupid Shuffle.
Chrisy:To the right, to the right to the right to the right. Oh, I know the electric slide.
Kerry:Yeah, they usually play that right after.
Chrisy:Yeah, in fact I made you the Macarena. Oh my God, no, someone's going to get hit by me. I'm just going to swing my arm the wrong way and you're going to get slammed. I'm going to step on your feet. I hate those dances so much that I requested at my wedding. To the band that played, I said do not play any of those.
Kerry:No line dancing, no line dancing.
Chrisy:And no chicken thing where people quack.
Kerry:Oh, come on, no.
Chrisy:We did not have that stuff. No, I did not want it. I ruined everybody else's fun, but I didn't want it Did you have a cookie table, oh yeah, oh OK.
Kerry:Well, at least you went with that tradition of our area Youngstown area is big on the cookie table.
Chrisy:Yes, you have to have a cookie table and the other thing I will talk about too in a minute, when you talk about parents who have you do things. My father was specific in what he expected because he did pay for most of the wedding, being the father of the bride. My husband and I we saved up because we were engaged for a while, so we did save up and pay for many things too, but he felt he was the dad, he had expectations and you were going to follow him. Yeah, so the pageant thing if anything it just totally destroys you.
Chrisy:Wow, Of course I did not win.
Kerry:I don't know, well, when you're going against these people that this is their lifestyle. Yeah, you're the underdog.
Chrisy:And you don't, I don't even know, maybe at 16, you think you have a chance Right and maybe you do. I guess it's like the law. I mean, who says but yeah, no, I was not polished to do all of this and it it made it worse. Yeah, but mom thought it was gonna help and it was kind of humiliating, wow.
Kerry:I'm sure it was so you needed to be see. Okay, here's the other side of the coin. Although my parents didn't make me do anything like they didn't push me into anything, but the one thing they did encourage and of course I wanted to do was 4-h, and 4-h for me accomplished everything that it sounds like your mom was hoping that it the pageants would accomplish for you, but it did so. It gave me confidence, it gave me speaking skills, it gave me, you know, there I'm forever speaking highly about 4-H and I encourage parents to let their kids do 4-H because it did build all those things.
Chrisy:Did they have 4-H for us inner city kids? Because I don't remember that being an option and I might.
Kerry:Yes, 4-h just isn't about the animals, although for us a lot of it was. What else was it? Well, they had like there's four like there was a 4-H where you could do like make clothing if you were into, you know, like design, and I couldn't make clothing. A design and fashion, you mean you used a pattern, yeah, but I mean I wasn't in that because I wasn't into that. But what I'm saying is there are other things that doesn't have to do with agricultural for 4-H, for kids.
Chrisy:They needed to tell us that.
Kerry:Right.
Chrisy:Yeah, I always disconnected for and 4-H here where I live now with family.
Kerry:Oh, I'm sure it's huge.
Chrisy:It's huge, yeah, and families, and I would have to say you know it's wonderful, yeah, I see nothing but positive.
Kerry:Oh no, it was In fact, I love to this day. So we have the Canfield Fair and that's one of the largest county fairs this side of the Mississippi. I love going there and I will sit and watch those 4-H kids and their judging and it brings back the best memories for me because that did build confidence. That built so much character for me. You know, it taught you poise, it taught you how to speak in public, it taught you how to work hard for something. You know responsibility. There was so much that it taught you and it was such a good experience. But again, my parents didn't make me do that, but I you were self-motivated.
Kerry:Well, it was just such a thing that was around us. It was like oh yeah, I want to be in 4-H, you know. And then Girl Scouts. Girl Scouts was probably the one thing that my mom probably not made me do, but encouraged me because her best friend was a troop leader. I didn't enjoy Girl Scouts as much as 4-H.
Chrisy:Girl Scouts was.
Kerry:I was not popular enough so it was kind of clicky. Is that a?
Chrisy:clicky thing. Oh, it felt like. Well, we have a listener who is was also a subject to some story that I brought up about having interaction with neighborhood kids. Yes, and I still interact with her. She lives a state over. Okay, we're going to call her Fingers. Until I can get permission from her in writing that I'm allowed to say her name, I'm not going to say it, lovely girl.
Chrisy:And I really did actually love her growing up, even though I did try to ruin her hands as much as I could. So Fingers, she was a Girl Scout. Oh was she and a brownie. Oh, yeah, yeah, and I used to like to mess with her I mean of course. Hey, Gaskin, I made a brownie.
Kerry:Look at you and your little thing with your patches.
Chrisy:Chrissy, you're a little bully, a little bit, yeah, but that's probably because I was being forced to do humiliating things on them.
Kerry:That's probably, and you know you've got to humiliate others when you're humiliated all the time.
Chrisy:So this is another dysfunction of growing up that's instilled, you know, in you. The other thing is there was a person in the community a lot of people knew who this person was and my mom wanted me to be in the arts, especially with singing and music. That was her push.
Kerry:Well, you still have a beautiful voice. Your singing was you would have been. If America's Got Talent or all those the voice would have been happening when we were in high school oh, I'm sure my mother would have humiliated me with that?
Chrisy:Yes, of course, but you would have made it, I would no, because here's the thing with that People there are a lot of people who can sing? I could sing, but the other part of that formula is you have to have the ambition. I had talent and no ambition. So if you don't have that other half, in some cases I would say that part is more important than talent.
Kerry:Because there are a lot of people who are famous.
Chrisy:Yeah, you don't necessarily have a talent as great as they think. But that ambition will. That's a good, that's a good observation. And I just wasn't, because it took effort and I was, you know, yeah, effort was something that came and went with me in spurts. Yeah, I would be ambitious one day, and this day I was a slug. So, but she, this person she thought might be able to offer me advice on going into a career in that area. Okay, why, I don't know, but they were fairly famous in the area we were from. A lot of people knew who this person was, personality. And somehow my mother again with this arranging, my mother was out there, sometimes willing and dealing. I said she was a stage mother but she never went to the stage. She made the deals Right and then threw you out there and I made this deal. She's like Colonel Tom Parker, making crappy deals and making me go out and look like an ass man. But I had to go to dinner with this person.
Kerry:Oh my gosh.
Chrisy:Grandparent aged to me at that time Wow, and I had to have dinner with him a few times. Is that awkward? Very, oh, always a very nice person.
Kerry:Yeah.
Chrisy:Never inappropriate on any level. I never understood what was expected of me. He did talk to me about certain things. It was awkward and my mother was not there with me. She sat away, oh, so she was in the restaurant, but just sat at the bar and watched you from afar.
Kerry:I think so.
Chrisy:She was never at our table wow, yeah, my parents never put me in that situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was going to circle back around with something with my dad that he did when we were talking before this well, I my parent, so we were talking about parents doing embarrassing things.
Kerry:so my parents never really like my mom. She was kind of very quiet and very shy in public where my dad was the extrovert. But my dad would embarrass me because he was almost flirty and all the divorced moms would always be clinging on him like always and that used to embarrass me and upset me, but he never really. They never really did like you know things that would I could say upset me, but he never really. They never really did like you know things that would I could say embarrass me. But I don't know, maybe I was just too naive to know what to be embarrassed about. I have no idea.
Chrisy:Well, you and I both have a situation with our parents you with your mom, me with my father. Yes that most people, especially the age that we were, would say this was embarrassing. But at the time, now you might have a different, different experience, but at the time my father participating in this. I was not really embarrassing okay I can kind of appreciate that children our age yes, how much I've been like 12, 13 ish would be very embarrassed by my father was a clown. Yeah, and I'm not saying he's a clown.
Chrisy:No, he was legitimately a clown. He had a clown name, he had clown makeup, he had a clown motorcycle with a flippin' beep beep horn on it Was it like a little.
Kerry:Yes, it was A ridiculous little stupid scooter thing. What was his clown name? Sad. Which wraps up my childhood I do remember your dad being a clown and he thought he was like the cat's meow.
Chrisy:Yeah, he had a weapon stamp because the whole thing with the clowns where we were from was we had a local. It was a masonic organization that he was very much involved in, had a yearly circus which was very respected, very looked forward to, and it was the circus with a purpose.
Kerry:Yeah, they did. They were benefiting children. I thought they were. It wasn't good cause, or was it children with?
Chrisy:They did I mean the Masonics did a lot with participating in things.
Kerry:Children with disabilities or something? Yes, very much so.
Chrisy:So I'm certainly not going to louse up that group of people who are doing nice things and benefiting that, but dad decided he wanted to do this and, believe it or not, at the time, especially around the circus time, these clowns were celebrities. Yeah, they were Big time, big time. There was one guy who was the famous clown of them all, the Mac Daddy. Who was that? Soupy, I?
Kerry:remember his name was Soupy.
Chrisy:You probably remember Everybody remembers Soupy. I totally remember that. I recently went to an event at a hall that is now this place, the Masonic organization my dad belonged to with the circus that represented the circus they used to be way out in Canfield.
Kerry:Yes, a long time ago. That's where their lodge was.
Chrisy:Yes, it recently has moved and I have a nephew and a brother-in-law who are involved in this organization Same one my dad was involved in and we were at the hall for an event and they have a picture of this clown. I remember that, and they have a picture of this clown and it startled me when I saw it because I was like, oh, it's soupy.
Kerry:I remember that, in fact, now that you're saying that that might have been the whole thing of why my mom decided to be a clown and so, but she was a clown for a little organization called Fools for Christ and they would dress up as clowns and they would go to, like, nursing homes and do visiting and you know, like that was their mission, equally doing very good things.
Kerry:Yes, yes, and so her name was Daisy. And then she roped me into doing it with her and my name was Penny and I had this. I just remember I had this really big penny it was like the size of a dinner plate, penny and that was. That was the kick. And hers was Daisy and so, but what's funny is, to this day, and my mom and all of her, you know, like when we moved her out of her house and everything she has this tiny little picture and an oval frame of her dressed up as the clown and it still sits by her bed. Yeah, now that you're saying that, soupy there's.
Chrisy:Well, there were, there was, there was some big time, I mean, and kids our age knew these.
Kerry:We would go, our schools would take you to the circus as a field trip. Yes, it was a big deal to go.
Chrisy:It was a big deal they had programs in the. On the back of the program was the autograph page and your goal was to get all those clowns to sign them. My father, who was artistic he actually did draw some of the covers, I think I still have those put away somewhere, all of his covers that he drew for the program. Yeah, my father, though, was funny because all those clowns used to sign he got and maybe he learned this from somebody else, but he had a stamp made.
Kerry:So he would just stamp them yeah.
Chrisy:My father was very, you know, know, I'm too good to sit here and say boing sad, boing sad, boing, sad dad's sad. What's your dad's clowning?
Kerry:sad dad's sad that is so funny, but see, it wasn't embarrassing though, to you as much as I'm guessing people are listening and saying that would be horrifying at like 13 years old to say your dad's a clown, he's dressed up, he's on this stupid scooter. It wasn't At the time, no, no. Uh-uh.
Chrisy:No, because in our area it was a big thing, it was kind of a big thing.
Chrisy:Right, right and when I would go to the circus. Not only was he a Mason Right, so you got kind of special treatment there to do shows, where they would come out once in a while in between the acts and do silly things. There's dad, yeah so, and uh yeah, dad was a clown and he'd make those clown balloons. Yeah, you know the poodles and the, and my room was filled with them. It was like please don't, I don't need any more of these quit practicing.
Chrisy:Yeah, he was, he was practicing his craft and I would have all of these flipping balloons in my room and I'd be like, oh god, I can't take it. Oh so, yeah, but yeah, no, dad was a clown. Mom made me a clown. It was a. You know what made me into the complete and utter wreck that I am?
Kerry:oh so well, but that was a real nice trip down memory lane. A little bit, I'm a little bit. Yeah, that was good. So I guess what we want to hear from listeners is what did your parents do, or what were they maybe involved in and good deeds or whatever that did you find them embarrassing or did you find it endearing? So let us know on our Facebook page. Also, make sure, while you're checking out our Facebook page, to go to our website, dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom. If you're enjoying our show or even a particular episode, you can help support us by donating one time or do a reoccurring donation. We would sure would appreciate it. We'd love hearing all your feedback. So let us know how we're doing or what you want us to talk about. We're always looking for episode ideas. Yes, please do. All right, junkies, we will see you next week. Thanks for joining.
Chrisy:Thank you, bye-bye.
