Caskets and Awkwardness: Real Talk About Funeral Etiquette Part 1

Death has a way of bringing out the complicated, messy, and sometimes absurd qualities in families – and nowhere is this more evident than at funerals. Kerry and Chrisy take listeners on a journey through the peculiar social dynamics that emerge when we gather to say goodbye to loved ones.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Dysfunction Junkies
• 0:42 Funerals: What Brings Out The Best and Worst
• 3:15 Family Experiences with Funeral Traditions
• 6:35 Awkward Moments and Inappropriate Comments
• 10:50 People-Watching at Funerals
• 18:20 Who Should Attend Funerals?
• 23:35 Evolution of Funeral Traditions
• 26:40 The Mercy Meal Debate
• 29:25 Final Thoughts and Episode Wrap-Up

Transcript

DJ Nick: 0:07

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies podcast. We may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough.

DJ Nick: 0:13

And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry.

Kerry: 0:20

Welcome Dysfunction Junkies. I'm Kerry

Chrisy: 0:24

and I'm Chrissy.

Kerry: 0:25

We got a good one today.

Chrisy: 0:27

I don't know how you look at the topic today and say it's a good one. Oh, it's a good one that one's going to be on you, Kerry

Kerry: 0:35

Today we're going to talk about what brings out the best and the worst of people and families. There's two things funerals and weddings, and today we're going to talk about funerals Exciting. Like we said in the beginning, this is our safe space. This is where we talk about things. It's totally fine to express your feelings good, bad or indifferent and also how we deal with a lot of dysfunction, trauma, anxiety, whatever you want to call it is through humor.

Chrisy: 1:06

I think that maybe these subjects come up because we think how can I showcase how absolutely disgraceful and horrible Chrisy is? Well, there's that too, yes, so thank you, yeah, because yeah yeah.

Kerry: 1:20

Funerals Love them.

Chrisy: 1:22

Not, not, no, no.

Kerry: 1:24

Well, did you have a lot of funerals? Did you go to a lot of funerals as a child growing up? First of all, let's start there.

Chrisy: 1:30

Yes, a lot More than probably most kids my age. I think the first one I went to I was like six. Oh, okay, my grandmother passed away. I was six or seven, yeah.

Kerry: 1:41

So your family toted you to a lot of funerals.

Chrisy: 1:44

Well, yeah, because how was I going to get a candy bar? Because we had to go to the funeral. And then, if you listen to a prior episode, I told you the superstition is that you can't go straight home.

Kerry: 1:54

Oh, and you would get the candy bar at the gas station because you had to get out of the car.

Chrisy: 1:59

I'm forced to get out of the car at the gas station. A hush puppy.

Kerry: 2:09

What do they used to call those slushy drinks?

Chrisy: 2:10

oh yeah, hush slushy or whatever the hell it was. Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about with a dog 7-eleven, I think it was. Yeah, yeah, slush puppy, slush puppy. Yeah, part of my everyday healthy diet the slush puppy and a snicker bar. Thank you there go.

Kerry: 2:23

I remember going to several funerals as a child, but then there was like a big gap and it wasn't until in high school that we had another little rash of funerals and then there's been another big gap. But now, getting the age we're getting to, people are dying off, so there's funerals. Also that I work at a church, so there's funerals. Also. That I work at a church, so there's funerals. So lately I've had a lot of funerals and that's what brought up this topic to my mind, because I think one of the best places to people watch is at a funeral and a wedding. But today we're talking about funerals. One of the things I find interesting is well, first of all, I got to tell you about this funeral that we just went to One of the priests at the congregation that my mom and I would go to.

Kerry: 3:06

A lot passed away and it was a very close friend of ours, especially for my mom and the community and everything. We were going to calling hours the day before it was held at the chapel where the priest was from. So we go into the chapel and there he is laid out in the open casket in the middle of the chapel, and we were there early. We were like one of the first ones there and so the family was up at the front of the church and then, you know, the priest was in the casket in the middle and then the other priest was kind of standing nearby and this priest is a particularly very close friend of my mom's. My mom like has a little crush on him, like she really really likes this guy, has a little crush on him, like she really really likes this guy, like in a in a catholic way. I'm not saying like anything else but she just really adores him.

Chrisy: 3:49

She has a lot of admiration she does yes so she, what did you say? Like the thorn birds, like the thorn birds, no, no, no no, no, so bad, but in any case.

Kerry: 4:00

So my mom, you know, given her state you know it's dementia and everything the filter is no longer there and kind of reading the room is no longer there. So we walk into the chapel and my mom sees her favorite priest that's still alive standing over and she says in a very loud voice y'all need to quit dying.

Kerry: 4:20

It's too hard for me to get here oh my gosh, I see nothing wrong with that I wanted to just curl up in a little ball because in me and the priest that's still alive, we're like, oh you know, and we were laughing because it was so sweet and we knew what she meant by it and everything, because it did take a lot to get her there. You know, she lives an hour and a half away, so she had to come spend the night at my house so that we could get her up in time in the morning. I mean, it was a process. So we get her comment. But again, the poor family, like the six family members that were there having this beautiful rever family members that were there having this beautiful reverent moment, you know, their brother, their uncle, who was the priest, is lying there in state in the room and they're just all in total respect. And then my mom shouts this out and they all just kind of turn around and look at us and I was so, so embarrassed. But well.

Chrisy: 5:21

that's why it's probably better to go to these, I guess almost as a spectator. Yes, Because that would be fun to be sitting there. That's what I'm saying. Take a seat in the back and just enjoy. Right, horrible to say that when someone has, you know, passed away, no reflection on them.

Kerry: 5:37

It's more about the crazy people who are around, you know, mulling around in this room trying to do whatever, but that's what got me to the people watching because, you know, I mean, I was there to pay my respects to and it was. It was a very sad loss and I'm so sad to see this priest pass away, because he was really amazing person, but because I was there with my mom and it was really more to make sure my mom was there, I was there longer than I maybe would have. Like, normally, you go in, you pay your respects, you go, you know, pray over the body and then you leave, but I had to stay. So therefore I started people watching. Of course, a lot of this is people watching my mom, because keeping tabs on mom, she needed to be kept tabs on.

Kerry: 6:22

So then, as we're sitting there, finally, after you know, my mom was making many comments. I mean that was just the highlight reel there, but there were many other things that she said that were also completely inappropriate. But again, everyone was so understanding of her and her state and they just are so sweet to her. But I finally was like OK, mom, you need to sit over here and pray, say your prayers, you know. So I got her calmed down, so I started watching people come in and it's really interesting to see how people act around a dead body. You get the people who ain't going up at all. They aren't going to go up. They will purposely take the widest, farthest route around the room to get to the family. Or maybe they don't even go up to the family because they don't want to go near or see the body. Completely understand and respect that. My husband is one of those people does not like to go to funerals. I would be shocked if he went to my funeral because he does not like.

Chrisy: 7:11

He doesn't like.

Kerry: 7:12

I'm just saying if I should pass before him, I would not be offended or upset if he didn't go to my funeral, because he does not like funerals, and I get that. Everyone is different. But then you have the other side of the coin where you have the people that come up and they want to touch the body. They want to, like stroke their hair or touch their hands, and it's just like. It's like two complete worlds. This one gentleman he was there to obviously pay his respects, but he was there also doing some things in the church. So every time he would pass the body because he had to pass by him a lot for what he was doing. He would just reach out and pat him, like just pat him, pat him on the shoulder, pat him on the hand. It's like you're going past somebody in a ballgame and you see somebody you know and you pat them on the shoulder hey, buddy, how you doing, you know and you go on by. That's what he kept doing. After like the sixth time, I'm like that's really interesting.

Chrisy: 8:02

Thoughts. This is a topic that you are definitely going to be reinforced, knowing what a horrible person I probably am. I'm just honest your seat in hell is definitely confirmed.

Kerry: 8:13

Is what you're saying.

Chrisy: 8:14

They already called me and told me it's been held for a long time. In doing that, in touching the body, which I've never. Until my father passed away, I gave him a little. Before we left the funeral home I did give him a small little kiss on the head, Okay, which is something you never forget. Yeah, but in people doing this, were they touching the body, hands and caressing the body and not? I'm not trying to imply anything inappropriate, Right?

Kerry: 8:42

Just you know it's empathy. It's sadness. Different people express themselves right and some people are touchers and some people are not. Whether and that could be, whether you're a hugger in real life or you're not, it's the same thing, right, right I get that, but when doing it a lot yeah more than one yes, are you in my opinion, are you?

Chrisy: 9:02

Are you checking to see if they're really dead? Like, maybe if you nudge them hard enough, they might? Did everybody? Is everybody sure? I mean, did the funeral people do such a fantastic job that you just can't believe it? This guy is man, he's beautiful, rosy cheeks and I swear I saw him breathing. And somebody needs to come up here and nudge him. Nudge him, he's going to get up.

Kerry: 9:27

I did not think you were gonna go there with that. When you said you didn't, I know I was like sometimes I'm pretty good at realizing where you're gonna go with things, but you caught me off guard in that one.

Chrisy: 9:38

But that's true, it's a good, well, I just you know, and they probably to give that person credit. They're probably not even realizing they had already did it.

Kerry: 9:47

No, I don't think that.

Chrisy: 9:48

I don't think they're doing it at all, Right? No?

Kerry: 9:50

right Because, honestly, the person that was doing this is somebody who goes to this church a lot and he is one of those people that, like, if you're in the pew and you've already went to communion and they're behind you, they're the one that would come and pat you on the shoulder as they walk by, just to kind of like you know that a little hello pat you know. Like they're in the communion line, passing you. It's a sort of way of saying hello without being you know I. That's exactly kind of what he was doing.

Chrisy: 10:13

Well, I would have an issue knowing this gentleman or whoever woman, whoever goes to these funerals, constantly smacking bob on the hands in the box, and then they want to come past me and smack me. Dude, I know where your hands are. Stop hitting me. I'm sitting upright already. I'm good. No laying of hands on me.

Kerry: 10:37

You know that is funny. I've got to catch my breath.

Chrisy: 10:44

Well, I just never thought of this.

Kerry: 10:45

Well, that's what I'm saying. You're bringing all this stuff to my attention. This is why we don't pre-talk about things we're going to talk about on the show, because we want the actual reaction. So here we go. So you know, you mentioned something about, like when your dad passed away, that you said at the funeral home you gave him the peck on the head yes okay.

Kerry: 11:04

So when my dad passed away, there are five of us girls and my four sisters were with him at the moment that he passed. I had just left after being there for like 48 hours in his final hours. I had just left. Maybe it couldn't have been an hour after I left when he passed. So as soon as I got the call I went back and it was only 10 minutes down the road where he was at. I had my moment with him in there while he was still in the nursing home when I had my moment and I do remember grabbing his hand and holding his hand and I gave him a chick kiss on the cheek, but then it was closed casket from there on out, so we never saw him. There was no more opportunity. There was no opportunity for people to do this drive-by tapping or anything, or so it had been a while since I had you coin in the phrase and drive-by tapping, I think I just witnessed a drive-by tap that would be on our next t-shirt, so I didn't.

Kerry: 12:02

I guess that's why it caught me off guard, because it had been a while since I had been to a funeral where there was an open casket for calling hours or anything, because everyone that I had been to pretty recently, including my dad's, was all closed, like there was no viewing. You know, people may have come and they may have prayed at the casket, but it wasn't open, so so I think that's why it caught me off guard how much people were touching.

Chrisy: 12:25

Doing this, yeah yeah. That's why it caught me off guard how much people were touching, doing this, yeah yeah. And you don't recall seeing this years ago, or is it just now that you've just realized it? Maybe you did see it, you just didn't think of it.

Kerry: 12:34

I think that, yeah, because the other funerals I would have been much younger, you know, and I think I do remember occasionally seeing the person you know where they go up once you know and they might, you might see the occasional person reach into the casket, but it wasn't common, but this just caught me off guard because it was like so many and then for this one person so repetitively. But it was, it was interesting. The other thing I want to go with this is so the next day at the actual funeral okay, you know my mom is very close to this community where this priest passed away. I mean, you know she worked with them for over 50 years and I grew up because my mom was working there, so I knew all of these people so very close. I mean it's more like family than it is just you know, the priest. You see on Sunday kind of a relationship.

Kerry: 13:20

When we were going my mom was like well, we have to go early because I need to sit up front, because she wanted to sit with the other brothers and priest from the community. She wanted to sit with them. So we get there and of course there goes my mom. You know there's the three other brothers and the priest and that they were the priest that was still alive. So my mom sat very first row, right up with them, there on the left side, and then on the right side is the family and everything and then again the casket's in the center. So I'm like mommy, you sure, you sure you want to sit in the front row? Oh no, I want to sit up there. I want to sit up there.

Kerry: 13:53

Okay, I said, well, I'm not going to sit in the front row, I'm going to sit behind you. I sat in the row behind because what was happening was, as everyone's coming up to give their condolences, they're making the rounds, they're going to the family you know expressing, then they get to the side we were on, to all the brothers and priests that live with this priest and there's my mom right in with them. So everyone's like going through the line and they're expressing condolences to my mom. Because, you know, half the people there probably didn't know who the heck she was, but figured she must have been important because she's right up there in the front row.

Kerry: 14:25

You know my, my, my mom, how sweet she was. But because it was like I said, I'm not downplaying the relationship at all, but it also has to do with her kind of mental state at this time. But again, that social cue of maybe you shouldn't have been sitting in the front row because that wasn't your place, you weren't second or third row maybe, but not first row, it was kind of interesting. Yeah, funerals. So what's your take on the where you sit at at the?

Chrisy: 14:48

funeral. Well, there's definitely, I think, a need for family First off with a funeral. This is really more than a wedding, which is supposed to be a happy event. You know, maybe not my wedding for a lot of people, but we'll get to that another time but most of the time weddings are happy event. The funerals are very sad. Yeah, it's the end of something, it's somebody who you loved, right, who was important in your life, and it's. There's really not a whole lot to joke about. So when I make fun of some things here are light, right, it's not of the loss, right? Oh, that's absolutely right. It's of how we are so ridiculous about how we act sometimes at these things, and it's probably. I'll go one further and say I can't even fully blame some of these people for acting the way they do, because emotion will make you do things. And uh, they said irrational. I read something somewhere. Oh, christy, read something. Bad idea. Irrational thought in the brain is faster than rational thought.

Kerry: 15:57

Oh, that's a really good thought.

Chrisy: 15:58

And so is you you'll act on irrational thought faster than you will rational thought.

Kerry: 16:03

And I think you could use the word dysfunctional as irrational.

Chrisy: 16:07

Oh yeah, and in general a funeral is dysfunctional. It's the whole thing it's. You know, it's one thing to remember somebody and have like a memoriam where you want to remember the life of somebody.

Kerry: 16:18

Right, you want to celebrate the life.

Chrisy: 16:20

But, to be honest, let's really understand what this whole process is. You are basically following some process, some tradition that was born out of a very, I would say, almost. It came into its own maybe during the Victorian era, and if you ever read anything about the Victorian time period, those people were a little nutty. I'm not sure where you're going with this, as far as the idea of a funeral, the idea of displaying a deceased person, oh, okay, for everybody for everybody to come yes and see one more time yeah, it's, it's a, it's a very old-fashioned thought.

Chrisy: 16:54

Yes, and we're still doing it. Yeah, and you know the victorians. They were the ones that were cutting off hair and skin and wearing them in lockets around their neck. They did their skin.

Kerry: 17:04

I knew they did the hair. Yeah, I mean well, I don.

Chrisy: 17:06

Well, I don't know, don't quote me on that one, the hair for sure. The hair, for sure, yes, and you know the women wearing black for a very long year or whatever, and the traditions, the social expectations. So to me it seems very almost I don't know what to say barbaric.

Kerry: 17:23

Not barbaric but arch? Is it almost disrespectful to go to a funeral because you haven't been in or around or involved in that person's life?

Chrisy: 17:40

I don't, I have something to comment on that and it's kind of funny. And I don't mean any disrespect to the people who maybe consider themselves part of this group, but I have referred to them in the past as funeral groupies.

Kerry: 17:52

Oh yeah.

Chrisy: 17:53

There are some people who, even if they didn't really know the person who passed away, yeah, they knew somebody who. Somebody knew that somebody knew that somebody knew or they met once and they met one Right. They got to come in a little group and they're go it. I mean that we could, hell, we could have like six episodes about that.

Kerry: 18:19

I'll try to do the Reader's Digest version of it. Basically, what really got me about my father's death is how people showed up and I was. You want to talk about being annoyed or agitated? I was annoyed and agitated about certain people that showed up in his final hours and and one. It was like where have you been the last however many years? Oh so why do you feel you should be in the room right now? I don't care what your blood relation or no blood relation is, just because you're blood related. You haven't been here, so why should you be here now? And then what really got me was they're having like social hour. Well, that's what it is. It's a social event they're, and they're just all sharing stories and they're talking away and they're laughing and it's like, excuse me, I'm here with my dad having these final moments.

Kerry: 19:11

He is dying, I'm having to have these final moments, but, excuse me, I have to block out your noise because you're over there having chitty, chatty happy hour and catching up over the last 20 years.

Chrisy: 19:22

I think that a lot of those people do kind of look at it as an opportunity to see so and so. Oh yeah, I remember, I remember so and so I used to hang out with when we used to hang out with the person who passed away, they might be there. I want to go there because I might get a chance to see them.

Kerry: 19:35

And then they want to come console you and I'm just like, get away from me, I don't, I don't and it's and I say that honestly with as much respect as I can, because I appreciate in their mind they think they're doing the right thing, but to me it was very disrespectful, very disrespectful. And I was going through my own grief and process in my family was going through Again, there was a lot of, there was so much backstory, but what really got me was, a week after my dad's funeral, said person contacts me and says you didn't talk to me. What's up with you? What have I done to you that you wouldn't talk to me? And you wouldn't talk to me at the funeral. And you were and I'm like, excuse me this, it wasn't your dad that died. This is, this is not about you. And if you knew really like, if you were really that involved with our family, you would have known why I was the way I was. Going back to the original question when is it right?

Kerry: 20:26

So the other funeral that happened in my family at the same time as this priest, it was a distant cousin, a cousin who I have not seen in probably 48 years of my 52 years of life. Knew of them, knew that they were a cousin, a cousin who I have not seen in probably 48 years of my 52 years of life. Knew of them, knew that they were a cousin, maybe was a little closer with one of their siblings, but again, and so there was part of me that was like, oh, I should go to the funeral. And then I stopped myself after going to this other one and thinking about my dad's funeral, everything like I think that would be more disrespectful for me to show up.

Chrisy: 20:54

Well, you're thinking about it correctly the most important thing with anybody is spending time with them, knowing them, sharing with them during life. Yes, yes, when my father passed away, I do remember a lot of people coming to the calling hours that I hadn't seen since I was very little.

Kerry: 21:14

Yeah, Coming out of the woodwork.

Chrisy: 21:16

I was like, oh my, I didn't even know half of them were still alive. I was like holy moly, look at who's shot. Gee, you still living. Good for you. I guess you know my dad's not, but you are Okay. Well, great.

Kerry: 21:28

Right.

Chrisy: 21:29

You know, yeah, funerals. I think that you have seen a bit of a shift in how they're done. I mean because I'm sure you remember this for a very long time it was at least a two-day event. Oh yeah, as far as what was expected of you, yes, you'd have a one day of calling hours and you'd have two calling hours.

Kerry: 21:52

You'd have one during the day and then you'd have evening calling hours and then sometimes even calling hours the hour before the actual funeral. Yes, Depending on where it was at, if it was at the church or whatever you know.

Chrisy: 22:04

Yes and so and again. Those calling hours are certainly not to accommodate the person who passed away. They're obviously available.

Kerry: 22:12

Right, and they're not for the family, because that's so horribly hard for the family. It's very not for the family because that's so horribly hard for the family. It's very hard, yes.

Chrisy: 22:19

Yes, I would imagine. Yes, but you're trying to accommodate to make sure everybody gets. It's almost like well, if we're having a show in the morning, we're having a show in the evening. Yeah, when's the matinee? Yeah, you know, in case you missed us, we're here, we're back again, yeah, yeah. So it's too much, and I do see a lot of people now having like maybe an hour prior to church service. Yes, and then the church service yes.

Kerry: 22:41

Then you got the luncheon after.

Chrisy: 22:43

Oh, let's talk about the title of those things. I wrote it down in circle because we had talked about this.

Kerry: 22:49

We did, we did. What do you call it?

Chrisy: 22:51

I don't call it anything, I call it. You know, is this cuisine going to be worth it? Because, yes, I'm horrible. I mean, again, just understand, I'm probably not going to a funeral. Yeah, unless I absolutely have to, I am, and a lot of the old school people are going to tell him just horribly disrespectful. You should be there, but I don't agree with that and I'll just leave it at that. Right, I've been coined by, I guess, my husband's family, uh-huh, and it sounds awful, and maybe other people out there. Let us know in comments, please. They call it a mercy meal. Mercy meal. That's terrifying Mercy meal.

Kerry: 23:29

First of all, it doesn't sound like the food's going to be any good. So, right now you've lost me Mercy meal. It sounds like it should be the meal beforehand.

Chrisy: 23:37

Well, yeah, the last meal beforehand and I don't. I'm not again. I know that, if they're, I don't think they listen to my podcast, because I don't know. But if they do, they're going to be like. You know why are you picking at us?

Kerry: 23:49

I'm not.

Chrisy: 23:49

I just never heard of it that way, and maybe they're just like well, no, there's a lot of people, but you hadn't even not heard.

Kerry: 23:55

I had not heard of mercy meal. I've always heard it as a bereavement meal, or bereavement luncheon or bereavement dinner, depending on what time of day or whatever. Or you know a family, you know luncheon, but usually bereavement is usually the word that I've heard.

Chrisy: 24:08

And so the mercy meal thing okay To me. And some people will say when they pass away. When they pass away, when they're prepping, preparing for their funeral.

Kerry: 24:19

Planning their funeral Advanced planning.

Chrisy: 24:21

Right, some people will be like you know. I just want everybody to have a great time.

Kerry: 24:25

Yeah.

Chrisy: 24:26

Have a drink on me, right? How is it that you feel that way? I mean, death is so final, it is, and it's an inevitable thing.

Kerry: 24:37

We all have to deal with it. Yeah, we're not getting away from it.

Chrisy: 24:39

No, Yep, having a party? I mean, have a party now. Yeah, I don't want to tell you to go party after, right, maybe I wanted to come, maybe I didn't. Yeah, chance or me, maybe she don't want to party anyhow. Anyways, everybody party on, I guess.

Kerry: 24:54

But I want it to be people that really knew love and respected me. I want my inner people, but I think I'll be pissed off if I'm lying there. Well, I'm going to be cremated, so I ain't going to be lying there.

Chrisy: 25:07

So I'll be dust in the room, but I hope they don't use you for the ashes when they can't find the ashes for.

Kerry: 25:11

Ash Wednesday. But I guess the way I see it is, if I was that important to you in your life, then yes, please, but don't come to my funeral to make amends for yourself. So if you were a shithole to me and you were a jerk to me, or if you had all these ill feelings toward me, don't come to my funeral to make up, to try to make yourself feel better. You know what I mean. And if I made an impact on your life, then I would love it.

Kerry: 25:39

But you know, I, just the whole people that come I love whenever I see a funeral and it is truly such a celebration of life and, again, being I work at a church, I've seen a lot of wonderful, amazing funerals where people, just everybody that walked in the door had such a good story about the person that passed away and like, and I love seeing that and to me, that that is, that truly is a celebration of life, not a funeral, you know, and I like that. But when I see these ones where it's just, oh, I, I heard they passed away and when did you talk to him last? Oh, it's probably been 50 years. Why are you here? Yeah, why are you here? Yeah, and that's, it's a it's probably been 50 years.

Chrisy: 26:17

Why are you here? Yeah, why are you here? Yeah, it's a whole thing.

Kerry: 26:18

And everyone's different, and if you're that person that needs to go, then again that's you, you do you, but it's just. I found in my own personal experience, especially being on the grieving end, I was really bothered by the people that were there and made it about them Right. Bothered by the people that were there and made it about them right, especially the after attacks of you know why wouldn't you talk to me at the funeral?

Chrisy: 26:42

uh, excuse me well, why wouldn't you even just take into consideration possibly this person is grieving? Yes and everybody does.

Kerry: 26:49

Grief is very grief is very personal, yes, and you need to allow a person to have their rights to that exactly exactly, and there was so much going on my life, their rights to that Exactly exactly, and there was so much going on in my life at the time that my dad died. There was just so much. Funerals again brought that up because really in the past two weeks or so, six funerals that I was either somewhat involved with because of the church I work in or people that I know, or relatives I know, or people that are close to me that I know that are passing away or in hospice or whatever. So I just thought that would be an interesting topic for today.

Chrisy: 27:21

I just, yeah, make a note because, if anybody missed it, because you're so sweet and nice.

Kerry: 27:26

Oh God, what did I do?

Chrisy: 27:27

Yes, Carrie did say the word shithole. I did that in my password voice. The word is shithole. Thank you.

Kerry: 27:42

Chrissy, when we have our next naughty or nice episode. She's like I remember, when you were naughty you said shithole yeah.

Chrisy: 27:52

We have a lot in regards to this subject. Yes, and we know that most of you are listening in your car while you're getting somewhere, and not everybody's driving really far. I think this is an excellent topic. Yes, because we still have plenty to talk about.

Chrisy: 28:05

I know we might have to do an episode two On another day and we can maybe combine it with something closely related to this, but just to give you a heads up on what that would entail, we'll talk more about mercy meals or bereavement meals. Yes, the hierarchy in seating arrangements for family members. Yes, sparring and fighting at funerals, ooh, always a good pastime. And the cars, that car thing, oh yeah, the car, thing, crazy man the whole idea of flags and cars and lights. How do you handle that?

Kerry: 28:36

Oh yeah, this is definitely a two-parter. It's a two-parter.

Chrisy: 28:39

Okay.

Kerry: 28:39

Well, stay tuned, yes.

Chrisy: 28:41

And maybe Carrie will come up A new word.

Kerry: 28:47

Join us again for the Carrie password. All right, everybody. Well, hey, thanks for hanging with us today on this very intriguing subject Stay on the road.

Chrisy: 28:58

Don't drive off the road and hit anything on press, because this subject was just so heavy. You're like, oh my God, we promise it gets better it gets better.

Kerry: 29:04

So, all right, everybody. But hey, before we leave, please make sure to check out our Facebook page. You can drop your comments or anything there. Wherever you are streaming us from, please hit the subscribe or follow button. That definitely helps us with our ratings, and what really helps us is any kind of reviews, especially those five star reviews that you want to make sure you do that, and if you're really loving us and you really want to help support us, you can always become a subscriber. As far as donating to us, so we have that click on button where you can either donate for one time or you can donate every show if you'd like to. But you do all of that from our website, dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom. Alrighty, everybody, stay tuned and we'll get back to you with more on funerals in another episode. Bye-bye, bye.