
Dysfunction Junkies
Two high school besties reconnect and commiserate their stories as they navigate the dysfunctions of life from marriage, families, illness, death of childhood families, and creating healthy boundaries. Join them each week as Chrisy and Kerry share their stories and life lessons all with a zest of wit, humor, and love. They may not have seen it all, but they have seen enough!
Dysfunction Junkies
The Dysfunction of Prom Culture: From Formal Dances to Promposals
Remember the dramatic entrance, the nerve-wracking search for the perfect dress, and the unspoken pressure of needing a date? Prom season sparks a fascinating conversation between hosts Chrisy and Kerry about how this quintessential high school experience has evolved over the decades.#prom #dysfunctionjunkiespodcast #promposals
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Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies podcast, where we may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry.
Kerry:Hello Dysfunction Junkies. I'm Kerry
Chrisy:and I'm Chrissy.
Kerry:How you doing over there, Chrisy?
Chrisy:I'm doing just fine.
Kerry:Well, today should be interesting, because let's just say that our show is not sponsored by a certain coffee company, but Chrissy's got eight shots of espresso in her, so this will be exciting.
Chrisy:It's early this morning. I needed to do something.
Kerry:Well, we're at the end of May and prom season has been upon us and Chrissy's got a teenager in the house, and so we thought, oh, this will be good to reflect on prom back in the day and how it is today. There's a lot of weird things going on with prom these days.
Chrisy:It does not look like it did when we were in school or participating. And my daughter, yes, she's of teen years, but she's just a sophomore and so she's not completely ready to go, but it's coming.
Kerry:It's coming, but they've had other dances and things.
Chrisy:Oh yeah, homecoming, Right right, they have a winter formal where she's at.
Kerry:Okay, exactly, yeah, yeah, I think what's interesting nowadays is this whole promposal.
Chrisy:Yeah, that's a good place to start, because it's crazy.
Kerry:It is crazy. And what caught my eye about this was I was just saw on the Facebook reels or something like that, where all these accidents that have happened during promposals like there is something about a kid was on a motorcycle for a promposal, going through a red light and he got, you know, in an accident, and then there's like a lawsuit suing the school police for like a million dollars. Like all these crazy things that happen on promposals gone wrong.
Chrisy:So I know this gender reveal thing was getting out of hand, but now this is also dangerous.
Kerry:Yes, same thing. Yes, we didn't have promposals.
Chrisy:We didn't have that. No, either. You just was, you were dating and you were going.
Kerry:It was a given.
Chrisy:Or well, first we probably should mention that now it's not uncommon for girls and I guess the guys to to do a stag thing, going without a date and go in a group with friends and just have a great time, which I'm all for. It's great Right, but when we were in school, not going to have that was basically yeah, you couldn't do that, you would be shamed. I would think it just wasn't anything we even thought of being able to happen.
Kerry:That was basically yeah, you couldn't do that, you would be shamed.
Chrisy:I would think it just wasn't anything we even thought of being able to do.
Kerry:Yeah, it was a couples only event.
Chrisy:Pretty much, yeah, and I don't even know that if I didn't have a date, I don't think my mother would have put the bill for a dress. She'd be like I'm not buying you a dress just to go with another. You know, with your buddies you might as well just forget it exactly so but I mean, I think that's wonderful that they can do that and they have a great time and they don't even think like there's anything. No, it's just like your head. This is the way we're going we're gonna.
Kerry:Why shouldn't we enjoy it another saturday night hanging out with my friends? Yeah, with fancier clothes and better food oh yeah, no.
Chrisy:So yeah, it's amazing. I just because my daughter will mention this. She's gone with a friend for the homecoming in the winter formal, but she has no issue if she doesn't have a friend to go, she's going to go with a bunch of her buddies, wow. And I just have to sort of sit there and bite my tongue because that old me is like you know, that's not seem cool, man, you're uncool. Why would you do that?
Kerry:But that does show great strength of character, though, that they're willing to stand on their own and they, you know, not conform, so I have to the part. I really like that. I wish that was something that would have been. We would have been strong enough to have back in our time.
Chrisy:We. Well, if we did there have been, I would have never been strong enough to do that. Well first of all, what buddy wants to go with me.
Kerry:I would have went with you.
Chrisy:Oh well, you would have. Yeah Well yeah, yeah, but I probably would have got you in some big trouble.
Kerry:So probably better you did. Yeah, when your daughter went to the winter formal, did she have a winter formal proposal?
Chrisy:She did get the proposal type thing. Yeah, to all of her dances so far with the sign and, oh my, a bouquet of flowers. It's like it's crazy, I mean, and they usually the person they have to come up with these like little you know, smart little saying.
Kerry:Yeah.
Chrisy:You know, A catch. Yeah, I catchphrase like oh, if you, would you please do this to come to homecoming with me, or would you do this to go to winter, formal and again, it's lovely and it's so creative, but man, that's a lot of pressure it is.
Kerry:I was just thinking that, like, what if the girl doesn't want to? It's kind of like it's like a wedding proposal, you know, especially when they make it public. What do you do when you're like I don't really want to marry you? Well, what do you do? I don't really want to go to prom with you.
Chrisy:I'm wondering if they go through all this trouble with the sign and the flowers only when they think it's a sure thing. But yeah you know what? I'm sure there's a lot of them that don't. They were not sure things and they probably did go through all that trouble and it ended up being a no, which is devastating.
Kerry:It is devastating.
Chrisy:It's hard enough to get a no when you just ask.
Kerry:Right.
Chrisy:And then you're standing there with a sign and a bouquet of flowers and they're like no.
Kerry:Well, in 30 years they're going to have a podcast explaining how that traumatized them. I'm sure I'm traumatized just for them thinking about it, so but what was the pressure of in, or did you even have any pressure about getting the right?
Chrisy:dress, yeah, and my junior prom. I got a really great dress. In my opinion. It was red, which I really like as a color for me. Isn't that nice? I say that it's such a lovely color for me. Everybody out there red and I got it at a shop over. A lot of people went over into Pennsylvania.
Kerry:Does it begin with a W? Nope, oh, okay.
Chrisy:It was a woman's name, helen, I guess I could say it. I don't even know if it's still in existence and it's just a. You know, they're not a sponsor, right? I guess I think it's called Helen Freed, okay, and it was just like a big deal to maybe go over there. A lot of people did, and they had beautiful gowns and this was just sort of unique because it was probably the color of it, being red the way it was.
Kerry:Yeah.
Chrisy:We had big dresses then we did Big hair, big dresses.
Kerry:Like they were almost like bridesmaid dresses. Oh yeah, you know. So you know we had. I remember my first prom dress was it literally had the hoop, the hoop in it.
Chrisy:Oh yeah, To make it go big.
Kerry:Those were yeah, and a lot of those dresses then had the hoop.
Chrisy:Now mine supplemented for that didn't have the hoop. It had a ton of Kremlin underneath it oh, Kremlin, yep. So that helped make it like huge. It was just. It was a really nice dress. I loved it to death.
Kerry:And you're going to believe this, what I still have it. Sorry, I just blew every one of yours out.
Chrisy:It's packed away, chrissy.
Kerry:What you still have it. What do you think your daughter's going to wear it? Well, maybe I want to wear it.
Chrisy:I'm going to stuff my 50-plus-year-old body in that dress that I wore when I was 16, and that's going to be the end of it, and I don't want to hear any BS about it. So, yeah, I still have it.
Kerry:Oh my gosh.
Chrisy:And I think I looked really great in it because I'm really self-centered.
Kerry:You probably did because you're beautiful.
Chrisy:Well, I appreciate that I'm not making you any sign. Oh yeah, could you imagine, nick? My proposal, yeah was, like you know, in the car while I'm driving, going to get tacos for your wedding, so I would love to know what nick's sign would be if we would have known each other in high school for prom.
Kerry:Yeah, really but.
Chrisy:I think you should surprise me and just do it like a recreation, like what you thought would be good and just like surprise me with it.
Kerry:Have you heard about these proms? I don't know. I should look and see what they're called, when people our age that maybe didn't get to go to prom they have proms now like they can recreate it and they go to proms like our age.
Chrisy:Well, I know they have what is that called? It might have a name, but I'm not completely unaware of. They do have like the retro flashback type dances for people our age where it's like 80s themed but this is kind of like totally recreating the prom.
Kerry:In fact I know somebody that just went to one, so I'm trying to quickly look through my text messages here because that they were talking about and they sent me pictures of them at this like prom do they get the big dress and stuff?
Chrisy:no, they're just dressed now, like you know now you wonder why I kept my dress, because I'm not gonna wear it to this. You can wear it to it, yeah, if I could fit. I'm not that much heavier than I was in high school, but even if I wasn't the body, everything sort of moves in different places, so you know there's a difference between 50-year-old body and 16-year-old body.
Kerry:Yes, yes, everything sort of goes south a little bit, but yeah, you know.
Chrisy:That's what they got all them flippin' boostier stuff for I just you know some scotch tape and some rubber bands and I'm back in business. Yeah, here comes Rubber Girl, because I'm too wimpy to have surgery.
Kerry:I'll just, if it's not happening. No, I'm too cheap with my to have surgery. I'll just oh yeah, no, no, no, it's not happening, no, I'm too cheap with my money. I spend money on that I do remember. I think I actually enjoyed our school dances more than I did our prom, like you know. I know school dances were at the, in the school, in the cafeteria.
Chrisy:Oh yeah, we had like a Sadie Hawkins down there, I remember the cafeteria. Oh yeah, we had like a sadie hawkins down there, I remember, but we also just there were, just like I don't know what was it like once every two months?
Kerry:or just be a dance, I mean, it didn't. Sometimes it had a theme, like it had the what's that, where you wear the, the toga like a toe oh, you know like they would have themes, but it was just a dance, you know. But the, the prom dance was, I don't know. We went to that other church that had a big hall and I think it was our church, wasn't it the or something. Yeah, yeah their hall.
Chrisy:That's where we had varsity okay varsity, but our proms were actually at the warner brothers theater in downtown youngstown, which was actually yeah, yeah, the stampa it was called. What was it called back in the late? 80s, early 90s it's the dr dior performing arts now, yeah, yeah, okay, but it was the warner brothers, because they were from youngstown. It was their theater and it's a gorgeous inside venue. I mean the ornateness of the lobby you would think, was it powers powers.
Kerry:Yeah, yeah, that's what it was called when we went, so but I just remember it was like so formal and the dresses were so, you know, different and it was just so. It was fun and it was nice, but it wasn't as relaxing and fun as the just the dance for no reason dances.
Chrisy:I wasn't relaxed. I really admire that you were able to say at this dance I'm going to have fun, and at this dance it's a little stressful. For me, it was just stress, stress stress.
Kerry:It was a lot of, I guess, for me because I was in a relationship with a boy that I eventually married that there was no stress of it because it was like, well, this is who you're going with, this is who you're dancing with. So there was no like, oh, am I going to have, is somebody going to dance with me or am I gonna be the wallflower? And then I was gonna talk, you know everything to be around, that much people and stuff. It was a lot of peopling without a lot of peopling. So, but the formal one seemed more stressful.
Chrisy:I don't know so I went with a friend who then ended up being a boyfriend right for a while and then we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time. That was like my junior year, just to and I think a lot of schools are like this now to make mention of this. So there's an understanding when we were in school, you had to be either a junior or senior to go. Yes, any lower grades did not go to correct. And then and I think actually at our school because now I hear a lot of people say that you have to be a junior or senior, but as a junior or senior you can invite a lower grades person, but at our high school they had to be a junior or senior also and the other thing was, is that my friend that I went with didn't go to our high school? Right?
Kerry:Same with me so.
Chrisy:I actually had to have. Do you remember having to have the paperwork filled out? I don't remember that I had to have, and I'm guessing you did too. You had to tell them who was coming with you. Yeah, it was almost like they were going to do a back. I don't think they did.
Kerry:It almost felt like they were going to do a background check on who was coming, but check on who was coming. But here's the crazy part, though. Okay, so the guy that I was dating was older than me, so how was it that I was allowed to bring an older guy to our senior prom who was already out of high school? Right, like, how'd that roll?
Chrisy:It was yeah, they didn't have an issue with that, Right.
Kerry:But you couldn't bring. You know a.
Chrisy:A lower gradesman that actually went to your school, your school, right?
Kerry:Yeah, I don't know, that was sort of a strange but that's what it was, because my friend A little dysfunctional in the school system rules there, Well yeah.
Chrisy:They're like yeah you can bring this unknown person of mystery to our dance.
Kerry:We don't know what they're going to you know that's already out of high school.
Chrisy:And yeah, sure, yeah, mine was too my senior prom, because I went with the same person in my senior prom, even though at that time, right, we were still just friends.
Kerry:Right but yeah, so that was sort of a weird thing, but did you dance though at the proms, like were you a dancer? Do you like to dance? I can't remember.
Chrisy:Yeah, I will dance. I don't remember. My dress was just so big. How can you?
Kerry:fast dance with that. I really had to just do the slow dances. Of course, the slow dances.
Chrisy:Yeah, no, we danced and we went with some friends Now I don't remember, and we went with some friends, Now I don't remember, did you because you were very serious with I mean, obviously he was your-.
Kerry:Yeah, future husband.
Chrisy:Future husband. Did you go with other couples? No, you didn't, it was just the two of you. Yeah.
Kerry:Did you guys rent a limo?
Chrisy:Like, do people?
Kerry:do? Do they still do renting limos nowadays? I think they do but I don't even I mean, unless it's a hearse. I don't remember ever seeing limos on the street these days.
Chrisy:Yeah, it does sort of startle you when you see one, and it was such a thing when we were in school Right.
Kerry:Oh, that was big.
Chrisy:So yeah, my junior prom we did rental limo because we had other couples that were with us. But my senior, my senior prom, he just drove my Camaro. Well there you go.
Kerry:Oh, do you remember back in the day how we would decorate the cars? Or you would take the Kleenexes and make like a carnation.
Chrisy:I have in fact a picture, do you still?
Kerry:have one of those carnations, chrissy. No, no, no, no no but for when we graduated. That was the other thing.
Chrisy:Yes, they were. You decorate your car.
Kerry:Yes.
Chrisy:And it was for like senior day or whatever and it had the signs on the car and you did all those like little tissue things. Yeah, what funny. We can maybe mention that again if with weddings and stuff. But because I live near the park Mill Creek Park and a lot of people went down there to take pictures in between their church reception and the beautiful park setting.
Chrisy:So where I lived we had a ton of cars that would come up the street after taking pictures or on their way to the cars. The other thing was was when the wedding party would drive around in those cars. They were decorated right. They would be. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so you would hear them coming.
Kerry:Yes.
Chrisy:And the whole thing was fingers. Natalie, if you're listening we would a big deal was you find those in your yard, because they would fall oh yeah, they'd fall off and it was like a big deal. If you found one, you keep it. You'd be like, oh my god, I found. But yeah, I don't that's. I don't think they do that at all.
Kerry:I don't think so. No, what about corsages? I feel like that's another thing that's gone to the wayside. When your daughter went to her formal or winter formal thing did she? Did her the boy give her a corsage?
Chrisy:well, these kids are young and I don't know that they have the full concept of that, although maybe they do. And I'm much older, not much older. I don't want to sound like I'm real old, but my husband and I are a little bit older and we do remember that that was really important. Yeah, so, generally to take the pressure off of her young man, yeah, I would order her thing, plus the fact that I'm so crazy I have to make sure it matched her dress. It had to be the right thing and I just was like you know, don't worry about it, I got you.
Kerry:Okay.
Chrisy:Right, and I would get his boutonniere too.
Kerry:Yeah, I remember taking the dress to the florist shop to make sure the ribbons matched the. The ribbon of the corsage matched the ribbon on the dress wow, yeah no, I just, you never went that crazy well, no, I just what the color?
Chrisy:was. This is what the color was and then you know the other thing too. Talking about our dresses real quick, remember you had to register your dress oh, that was for those of you that had money well, no, when you? Where did you get your dress? You don't remember.
Kerry:Well, I think the one year my dress was actually a bridal dress, a bridesmaid dress I had worn for a wedding, because we couldn't, we didn't have a lot of money, so I repurposed.
Chrisy:Carrie, where this whole thing with? I don't remember there being any sort of. I mean, you just were not affected by this.
Kerry:Uh-uh.
Chrisy:Love you for it. Love you for it.
Kerry:Now, I think the one year with the hoop dress, because we went to that one store. The Winner. Yeah okay, they might have written down something, but I was probably the only one wearing a Gone with the Wind dress. We all were wearing Gone with the Wind dresses. Have you seen anybody?
Chrisy:else's pictures? Yeah, no, we had. They would ask you what high school, because their whole plan was that you would register your name, the high school you were at with your dress, because that shop would not sell your dress to another person who was going to your prom. Ok so you didn't show up and be like hey, you know, it's so amazing, it really worked.
Kerry:Do you?
Chrisy:ever remember anybody having the same dress at a prom.
Kerry:No, I don't.
Chrisy:That's crazy, but I don't even know if they do that, Well, no, because a lot of people they just go to department stores now or Amazon. Oh my God, yeah, try to register your dress with Amazon. Don't sell anybody else my dress, yeah, else my dress yeah, right when it says five left in stock. Yeah, right.
Kerry:So yeah, the prom thing crazy.
Chrisy:Yeah, so yeah yeah, how is this crazy and dysfunctional for us? Well, because there's a lot of ways.
Kerry:There is a lot of ways, because it really sets us up for all future events that happen, like at like. It's setting you up for weddings. It's setting I mean there's so many things you know. It's setting this, this anxiety that we get over. I have to be the only one wearing that dress. You know what kind of flowers, what kind of food do I? What do I get? The limo Do I not get the limo Was the proposal. I could totally see this. This has affected us going on our lives, yeah, but when it comes off.
Chrisy:I mean I just felt like, Look at you, You're glowing right now.
Kerry:You're like so happy and glowing.
Chrisy:My senior prom dress wasn't as dramatic, but it was a nice dress, and my mother, of course. I picked out a dress that was very low, plunging in the front, and my mother was having no part of this. She actually noticed something, finally, she said try that on and she's like uh-uh.
Kerry:So she made me go to a seamstress and they had to put a little piece in added a little ruffle here in the to add a little coverage because it was just way too.
Chrisy:now she's compromised the integrity of my gown Meanie, totally mean. Mom, the silly butthead, ruffle over here your ruffled cleavage.
Kerry:Now, that just draws more attention.
Chrisy:If you ask me, it's like, well, what's happening? But yeah, I really, especially my junior prom. I just I have to admit this is because that's so horrible.
Kerry:As if people don't already know I'm horrible.
Chrisy:I just I really felt so pretty, I have to say, because we had to go into the one entrance yeah it's almost like going to an award ceremony it was.
Kerry:It was exactly. Oh gosh. Dj nick here is making his promposal sign. Chrissy, will you go to prom with me? I'm so glad you have one. He's thinking about you in that ruffled cleavage dress. Oh yeah, you were saying the entrance it was. It was like a red carpet event Because all the parents and stuff were lined up and there was like flashes. Yeah, and then you'd hear people say oh, that dress is pretty, or whatever.
Chrisy:Look at her hair. So yeah, good, good time. A little glimmer, a moment in time where you say I felt good for that time. Yeah, I don't have any really bad feelings about it, but going to like nieces and nephews when they were starting to do all yes.
Chrisy:I have to admit, a niece was going to prom and she went to a fairly strict school. She looked beautiful, she had a beautiful dress. You planned for this, yeah. And just remembering back to when I went to prom, this like really bothered me. I found out that they simply just like, did like, because, because I know, prom means promenade, which means, I guess, walking, yeah, walking in. Yeah, I think that was all they did was the promenade. And then they went to dinner. They weren't allowed to dance, oh, and I said, I said wait a minute I was so offended.
Chrisy:She dressed so beautifully, she looked great. She went through all this trouble and she was not. They were not going to dance at their prom. What I said, this is so footloose.
Kerry:Oh, she was robbed. Yeah, footloose, you're right. So do you remember that DJ Nick's shaking his head?
Chrisy:yes, you have no response to this. It's offensive, no.
Kerry:I think it was a very religious school and no dancing.
Chrisy:No dancing catholic school said go for it but okay.
Kerry:But on that note, they had the monitors around the dance floor that we're watching to make sure that you didn't get too touchy, feely or where our place what, chris? I thought they were just trying to record my every move no, because if people started kissing or hands started floating, they would come break you up they could have tried.
Chrisy:I've been like I can't believe you don't remember that. No, I probably saw monitors there and I just would go by and probably fluff my hair and make sure my makeup wasn't running.
Kerry:Well, I guess maybe that is where maybe I was a little naughty, because I remember getting the tap on the shoulder. You did yeah because we were getting a little too close.
Chrisy:Carrie was, I'd be like don't you dare mess up my dress.
Kerry:Don't you dare. But really I do think that now that we're talking about this, I think this is where it leads up to a lot of issues. You know where we have the whole. You know bridezilla things and all the pressure on weddings and all these events that we have to do, because it started in high school, the pressure of prom Pressure, of all these dances, yeah, Pressure of the hair Pressure of who you're going to go with.
Chrisy:Yeah, I just I do feel like it was a lot of pressure and it was almost like a miniature wedding. It was, I do remember, like the day of prom, like you didn't eat.
Kerry:Oh yeah, no.
Chrisy:There was no way you could eat anything, just because you were so nervous and you didn't want to feel like you know, you were full or bloated or anything and just getting ready and not really being able to function in any capacity that day.
Kerry:Right. Well, how could you, when you were eating ice cream and hot dogs all week, for dieting for that?
Chrisy:predated that one yeah a war after that, but yeah. Oh God Well no, actually probably it was, but I probably had moved on to another dysfunctional diet. By then there was a lot of pressure with that because you just were told all the and I guess they look at the magazines now too yeah, but remember we get those prom those, the teen magazines. Right had the prom dresses.
Kerry:Right, prom those uh, the teen magazines, right, had the prom dresses right. But what's so funny is you know, again, like, like we said back then the prom dresses were more like a formal gown, but now it's more of a short cocktail dress, kind of like. As the years have gone by, the dresses have gotten smaller, right, yeah?
Chrisy:yeah, they. I mean they definitely have changed to the point where I'd be like, but I think it's for the better and it it's just ours definitely dated. Oh, very, you've got teenagers, or maybe for some of our newer, younger listeners, what was?
Kerry:your promposal like.
Chrisy:Yes, we would love to know that. And nightmare proms, oh yeah, like something malfunctioned with the dress, malfunctioned with your date Right, malfunctioned with all kinds of things. You know, did you trip Right? And there's another nightmare. You're always terrified you're going to fall or trip or look like an idiot.
Kerry:This is true. I have to commend you, chrissy. We have went through this whole episode talking about prom and you did not give a movie reference.
Chrisy:Oh my God, I was just about to. Ah, you said Footloose. Well, I did say Footloose, yeah, but I'm thinking the big prom movie reference. Oh, was there a big prom. What carrie? Oh geez, well, carrie, your name's well. Did anybody out there get pig blood dropped on them at their prom and then set everybody on fire? That's classic. That is the classic prom.
Kerry:That's what I'm saying.
Chrisy:I can't believe I was gonna mention another crazy movie that I thought was hilarious, with Drew Marymore in it. Never Been Kissed where she's flashing back to her days in high school.
Kerry:That was so cute.
Chrisy:And she remembered how horrible, because that kid played a joke on her that she thought really wanted to go to prom with her, and when he showed up in the limo he had another chick with him and then she got pegged with an egg. Yes, I was like anybody out there get smacked with an egg because your date was messing with you. I mean, god, I'm sure I would hope that nobody has this experience. But you know, there are probably some nightmare experiences where maybe last minute you just decided you couldn't, you know, go with this person.
Kerry:yeah, you said yes to the promposal but you really didn't want to go and didn't know how to get out of it.
Chrisy:Yeah.
Kerry:So you just didn't go.
Chrisy:Yes, yes All right.
Kerry:Well, thank you for joining us today. We look forward to all of your feedback. Again, go to our Facebook page, our Instagram page. Check us out on our website dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom.
Chrisy:Yes, send in prom pictures of, if you can, that would be so great to put those out there.
Kerry:Yeah, we could have a little fashion show of prom.
Chrisy:We can try and guess what decade you went to prom, because the dresses might be able to tell us that.
Kerry:There we go. All right, junkies, you have your task for the week. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.