Birthday Hangover Recap

Birthday celebrations should be joyful occasions, but for many, they're complex emotional experiences filled with expectations, memories, and sometimes disappointments. Kerry opens up about her deeply complicated relationship with her birthday, particularly the frustration when friends forget despite having "ample warning" from previous podcast episodes. This year was especially challenging as her birthday coincided with Mother's Day—the first since her mother's passing. Join the ladies as they recap birthday stories that range from heartwarming to hilarious.

Chapters

• 0:00 Birthday Hangover Episode
• 5:42 When People Forget Your Birthday
• 10:05 Memorable Birthday Gestures
• 14:30 Concert Tickets as Birthday Gifts
• 20:24 Childhood Birthday Party Disasters
• 24:15 Planning Next Year's Celebrations

Transcript

DJ Nick: 0:07

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies podcast. We may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry.

Kerry: 0:20

Hello Junkies. I'm Kerry

Chrisy: 0:23

and I'm Chrissy.

Kerry: 0:24

How are you doing today, Chrisy?

Chrisy: 0:26

Oh, I'm trying to hang in there. I guess I'm doing all right, I know it.

Kerry: 0:31

So your birthday's passed, thank God. So both of our birthdays have passed. So now we can commiserate on our birthday woes and excitements and joys. Yes, let's reflect, let's reflect. Maybe we'll just call this our birthday hangover episode.

Chrisy: 0:49

Sure, I would rather have the other kind of hangover than this one, but let's do it.

Kerry: 0:54

So obviously we had a whole episode basically about my dysfunction around my birthday and I've got a lot of them. I recognize that, I know it completely, but I was quite irritated this year. Well, you know, first of all there's that whole thing that my mom died. So you know there's that, it's a tough it was tough, and then and and again I we use humor here to help get through things.

Kerry: 1:19

So, no disrespect to my mom, nothing against that, but it did pose a little bit of a downer. So this year my birthday fell, you know, on Mother's Day. So again, not only having to deal with my birthday around Mother's Day, but the first Mother's Day without my mom, right, you know we talked about in our episode about how people tend to forget my birthday. I was extra offended this year. Oh no, I know it's horrible. I know this is the one time where it's like about me, chrissy, it's not about you, it's about me. I love it.

Chrisy: 1:53

So I'm all for everybody making it about them. We'll all ignore each other because it's all about ourselves. There you go.

Kerry: 1:59

So what got me this year was I was not only offended that people forgot my birthday, but had they been active listeners of our podcast, they had all the ample warning to remember. We talked about it the Wednesday before. We had a thankful Sunday episode on Mother's Day, which was my birthday, and yet these people, they all forgot. So I'm, I'm, I'm extra, extra offended. I don't know what to say to this. I would think you should be saying I'm proud of you, carrie I'm proud of you, carrie.

Chrisy: 2:32

Yeah, for being offended. Oh, because you're offended well yeah, but no, you can't just be offended. Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?

Kerry: 2:39

oh, I've been telling them all, I've been calling them all out. Oh, wow, oh, okay, I was. I was like because when they would remember days later, week later, I'd be like yeah, well, clearly you don't listen to my podcast because you know we talked about this. And then when I would tell them about, you know, I have a history of people forgetting my birthday, you know, then they would feel really bad and I'm like, but had you listened to my podcast, you had warning.

Chrisy: 3:03

So now not only you forgot my birthday, but you're not supporting me, oh you don't just sit in the corner and like utter a can temptation, you know some sort of spell or something evil, that you just wait around for karma to hit these people who have totally just rubbed you the wrong way.

Kerry: 3:18

That's old me, not new me.

Chrisy: 3:21

Oh, I'm still stuck in old me Is that the old me.

Kerry: 3:24

The old me was that way where I didn't talk about things and I just kept it to myself, because you know that elephant in the room thing, you know you don't talk about things. But now the new me has a voice and I talk.

Chrisy: 3:33

Well, I probably wouldn't get very far if I made a deal out of someone maybe not acknowledging my birthday, because I've gone so far out of my way to explain that it's not that big a deal to me, so it would be a little hypocritical.

Kerry: 3:48

So did people remember you on?

Chrisy: 3:49

your birthday, the people who matter that. There you go. So there you go. Remember, I don't travel in as many social circles as you do See. So there's I'm even at a higher benefit. You know I'm in a better place than you already because there's not that many people I have to think about. That would remember my birthday. When you have more friends and you get out there, you're in clubs or whatever the heck, you know you're more involved out there than I am.

Chrisy: 4:13

So I hide away, so I don't expect people to know that much.

Kerry: 4:18

And I will say, and I know this is a double standard, but you know, there's certain people that I just know are I'm just going to say the term flaky, because but it doesn't mean anything bad, it just means that they you know this is not their mindset or whatever. You know, my, my one, my sister, I call her my sister in love, which is my husband's sister. So we use this term sister in love instead of sister-in-law because we just love each other so much.

Kerry: 4:50

You know, know we joke around about things. You know, like if we don't hear from each other, if one of us texts, the other calls the other and there's no response, we'll text. The next thing will be why do you hate me? It's like like, why are you not answering? Why do you hate me? So, unfortunately, she was one of the people that didn't call or text on my birthday. But again, I know what her life is like, I know how things are. So, yes, she gets a pass. But I did text her the next morning and said why do you hate me? Did that draw her memory? She called me and she's like, and she was trying to figure out why I texted her oh, no, and I said you didn't call or text me on my birthday and she felt so bad.

Kerry: 5:31

She was like, oh no, I'm horrible. I'm horrible and I'm like, yes, you are, you're horrible, you know. But so we, we made joke about it and everything. But then there were other people that see that again. This circles back to my whole dysfunctional brain about my birthday. That, yes, I understand, you might not see me on my birthday, so you're going to give me a gift ahead of time, or you're going to say happy birthday ahead of time when you actually see me, and even if it's just a day or two, but you still got, you still got to do something. You got to have a call or a text that day. Just know, well, that's good to know. Yes, there's have a call or a text that day. Just no, well, that's good to know.

Chrisy: 6:04

Yes, there's lots of rules well, I I get that rule because, as you know, I I have the rule about you can't celebrate anything early, right? Right it's either on the day or shortly thereafter exactly so probably I would be better off somebody wishing me a happy birthday belated yeah because there's somebody right I'd probably panic if somebody told me happy birthday prior to my.

Chrisy: 6:25

Yeah, because there's somebody right. I'd probably panic if somebody told me happy birthday prior to my birthday. Then I would have to lock myself up and be afraid that something horrible was about to happen. Somebody acknowledged it before it happened.

Kerry: 6:36

But you know, here's the funny. So, on the other end of the scale, you have the people that forgot or didn't care, whatever I'm not important to you, fine, whatever so. But then you have the people that forgot or didn't care, whatever I'm not important to you, fine, whatever so. But then you had the people that did care and that was so special. I have a particular friend who is how do I, what would be, how would we reference this if it was the mob? They, they had to go away. Let's just say that they went there.

Chrisy: 6:58

They're away somewhere, okay, they oh okay, you know, they went on a little uh awaycation yeah, an awaycation for a very set amount of time.

Kerry: 7:08

Oh you know, before they can come back, this person found a way to get a birthday card in the mail to me, and by god it actually came on my birthday that's amazing it's amazing.

Kerry: 7:20

So I'm like here you've got people that could easily call or text or go to the store and forgot, but then you have this person who had to jump through some hoops to make sure that that happened and that was really touching. Shout out to my friend who's away, for even in difficult times that just goes to show you know that effort. And then you have my sweet husband, who is very good about overcompensating because he's got to deal with this.

Chrisy: 7:44

You know he's at home drama.

Kerry: 7:48

It's got to be probably the most stressful day of the year for him, because all day he's getting like the count list of well, this person hasn't texted, this person hasn't. This person did so. He did lovely overcompensating for the day. Way to go, jim. Yeah jim, good job jim. So that was kind of my birthday hangover.

Chrisy: 8:10

Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what else.

Kerry: 8:17

Oh, you don't have to apologize, you guys did good.

Chrisy: 8:20

We did, we tried, you know we tried. But relying on people to do anything sometimes is not the greatest thing. But sometimes we get little surprises. Yes, I've had some weird things happen in the past.

Kerry: 8:35

tell me, not weird things, but things, things that dj nick just gave you well things.

Chrisy: 8:42

That one weird thing before dj nick was it wasn't weird, but it's just. You don't even think that this stuff exists. But but when I turned 16, my sister and brother-in-law surprised me with a singing telegram. Oh my God, and I had a fairly respectable birthday party for when I turned 16.

Chrisy: 9:04

My parents actually did like have some food brought in and we had a picnic and we invited more than the usual amount of people. It was probably one of those birthdays maybe the only birthday where it wasn't just me and my friends like family and friends were involved to some extent. For some reason, I feel like you probably were.

Kerry: 9:23

Well, I'm wondering if I wasn't, because I would have been at band camp.

Chrisy: 9:26

Well, the other one was there, though. Oh, well then I had maybe he wasn't doing the band oh you know what. He wasn't doing the bank oh you know what he wasn't. He started a year later. No, he didn't. He didn't go that summer because there was reason to stay. Oh no, you're making me remember things I shouldn't remember yes, you probably were gone.

Kerry: 9:50

I was probably yeah, because I don't remember this but, I don't remember as many things as you do, so that doesn't mean when when jarred the correct way, I do so.

Chrisy: 9:59

Anyhow, this gentleman showed up in a white tuxedo type thing oh my gosh and my husband laughs because we have a picture of me with this. Uh, just a singing telegram oh yeah, oh god, I mean, we can post it. It's pretty funny.

DJ Nick: 10:15

Mr mullet, my husband calls him, but please remember this is 1988 right so of course he had a mullet I would have been offended if he didn't have a mullet. He had a receding hairline and a mullet but don't what if this guy listens somehow look, if I had a mullet now, I would kind of look like that guy. I think I had to be in his 30s, I mean in your 60s.

Kerry: 10:38

He said that like it's so odd he had to be in his 30s.

Chrisy: 10:41

Well, I guess we're doing a singing telegram right To a 16-year-old girl. I was touched by the gesture, but when you're 16, you're fairly embarrassed, especially when there's some man who's actually down on their knee singing to you. Hey, that guy got down on his knee, Nick.

DJ Nick: 11:01

He could have went to jail too.

Chrisy: 11:05

My man was old for you at that time. Well, at least I can say, somebody got down on their knee for me. Yeah, okay, moving on. Soum, bum, bum, bum, yeah.

Kerry: 11:13

Okay, moving on, so singing. Oh my God, I thought that only happened in the movies and stuff. I didn't realize it was a real thing, yeah.

Chrisy: 11:19

No, it was.

Kerry: 11:20

And in Youngstown, like I'm even more impressed than you are in Youngstown, it was.

Chrisy: 11:24

And I got the full Youngstown version thing. That was funny. That shows you, but I can admit when I'm wrong sometimes, as long as it's not too painful. My husband on my birthday somehow was working somewhere where this like radio station came in uh-huh and they had like trivia, yeah, and of course my husband was gonna get it, because music trivia, forget it. There's nobody else who can beat him generally I mean unless it's the actual musician themselves until about the mid 90s.

DJ Nick: 11:55

Then I'm kind of yeah, he gets shaky, but I think you're selling yourself short.

Chrisy: 11:59

You, you know more than even after that. But so he won tickets to see simon and garfunkel in pittsburgh wow, and the real's.

Kerry: 12:09

Not a not a like, no, these were the real the real deal.

Chrisy: 12:12

Oh yeah, oh wow, and it was yeah, they had reunited, the everly brothers were opening up for them, wow, and it was a really small venue like it, wasn't like a huge yeah group. Like you, I mean it was it was very.

Chrisy: 12:27

It was fairly intimate for a concert yeah, maybe one of the more intimate types of shows I've ever been to and he got really great seats. I mean, we were on the floor, wow. And so when he called and told me this, he was so excited and of course, you know I was about to destroy any excitement he would have Because it was my birthday. It's my birthday, nick, and you want me to go see Simon. I didn't even know they were still alive.

Kerry: 12:52

I it's my birthday, nick, and you want me to go see Simon. I didn't even know they were still alive. I was going to say there's probably listeners that are like Googling who's Simon and Garfunkel? Well, they're fantastic and they're very important in music history.

Chrisy: 13:02

But yeah, I got very hostile, I didn't want to go. I said this is my birthday and you're telling me I have to do this. But we did. I mean we had two, we had four tickets. So we did ask my sister and her husband to come with us and my sister, I'm sure, was ecstatic because she's older than me and even had a better appreciation for this and she was pretty involved with she liked music and kind of her and Nick would talk a lot about music. But so we went and it was like one of the best concerts.

Chrisy: 13:29

I've ever been to. So I had to admit I was a real bee about it because I was insulted that you made this decision for me and I had no choice in it and I felt it was ridiculous, but it was. It was really. I mean, I'm really glad that we got to go so that he received those tickets, that he was able to win them, yeah, and then take me and then I got to go with my sister and brother-in-law. That was actually a pretty nice birthday actually.

Kerry: 14:02

Good. Now I have to ask was this like a major radio station in the Youngstown area? Do you remember what station? You can probably say it.

DJ Nick: 14:09

I don't see why not. Well, you know they've changed so many times since then. This would have been probably in the mid-2000s, uh-huh, and I don't know if it was Probably one of the stations Hot 101 or no. I think it was part of the well it was. I think it was 93.3.

Kerry: 14:25

Oh, okay.

DJ Nick: 14:25

But at that time they were oldies.

Kerry: 14:28

I know they switched. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I see what you mean.

DJ Nick: 14:30

They switched formats when they were part of that conglomerate.

Kerry: 14:33

Very cool yeah.

DJ Nick: 14:35

It was either 93 or 106.

Kerry: 14:37

Okay.

DJ Nick: 14:38

Because they flip-flopped, you know in the 2000s Right formats. They flipped formats. They traded formats because they were part of the same company.

Kerry: 14:54

But yeah. So the one DJ came see, yeah, no. So sometimes you had an open mind about going because you could well I didn't well, but, but I went. You had to have had an open mind enough that you did end up enjoying it, because you could have really piss potted on that whole thing and no matter how good it was could have been like so the highlight of the night and I think what?

DJ Nick: 15:09

really turned her, is they they did their song called the Boxer. Well, there was a guy, drunk or high or I don't know what, and he was just as much entertainment, I think, as the song, because he was boxing. He was like boxing in the air while the song was playing, while they were doing the song. So I think that that was yeah. That was a little that broke the ice. That actually was a little.

Chrisy: 15:33

Comic relief, comic relief. That helped a little entertainment. But, yes, no, but do you remember that, chrissy? Yeah, well, he thinks I found I was probably because in general at concerts and simon and garfunkel are a fantastic concert for me, because I generally want people to stay seated- oh yeah, this is true, and not especially when you're on the floor. Well, yeah, don't move.

Kerry: 15:51

Yeah.

Chrisy: 15:52

Don't do anything that's going to cause, generate heat or obscure my view, which would force me then to have to get up because I'm not getting up.

DJ Nick: 16:06

I love my wife but she's not fun to take to any class. No, I'm pretty much not this was probably the perfect concert, you know, sans the drunk guy airboxing, you know, so I was probably sitting there thinking I think that somebody needs to get this gentleman to sit down because he's generating heat he's moving, he's moving, he's on the move, everybody, please where please.

Kerry: 16:29

Where is security. So, oh, you guys, crack me up.

DJ Nick: 16:34

Taking her to the symphony is fine oh.

Chrisy: 16:36

I am the best. I am the best person to take to that.

DJ Nick: 16:41

I am fine there.

Chrisy: 16:43

But I have to say real quick, one concert we did go to that I don't remember ever sitting down for and this will just tell you at what level this concert was Uh-oh, and Simon and Garfunkel, I would have to say these two concerts might be tied, but they're on two sides of one end of this type of music. We went to see Kiss, oh my gosh, Back in 2000. And it was all four original members, Wow. And my husband finangled us to have pretty darn good seats to that too. Wow, and it was. You couldn't, there was just no way. And I wasn't standing up just because everybody else was. I mean, they literally their energy makes you stand up.

Kerry: 17:27

Oh, wow, that's great. So shout out to.

Chrisy: 17:29

Kiss. There you go For getting this one off of her chair during a concert. That speaks volumes about you guys. Yeah, I hear you.

Kerry: 17:40

I've never been much of a concert goer personally. I mean, I went to like four Billy Joel concerts and like where they were at, a major thing. Now, when we lived in Las Vegas, we went to a lot of shows and a lot of things, but that was like every Friday night, you know what I mean. It wasn't like here where, oh, I want to go see a concert. You know it's a different kind of atmosphere or type of going to a concert. But yeah, we went to a couple of Billy Joel concerts and my last one was actually two years ago. We went Joel concerts and my last one was actually two years ago. We went and saw Billy Joel. Actually I went with my friend, because Jim's not much of a concert person either, and we went and saw him at in Pittsburgh. So, and I'm glad we did, because he was coming, didn't you?

Kerry: 18:20

he was coming again and then now he's not touring no more. No, I'm so sad, but I'm so glad we went to that concert, because that was that was good yeah, so that was one birthday thing and I managed it yeah better and yes, I did admit that.

Chrisy: 18:35

So I guess you're saying somehow, even if it was unconsciously, I, I was open to yes the experience yes, because I was able to finally admit that it was really good yes, excellent so there are chances that you can surprise me or I can surprise myself with actually liking something.

Kerry: 18:51

But I have decided that next year I'm going back to my, I'm going to run away for my birthday. I couldn't this year because of the mom situation. So, are my normal escape plan to avoid all this. Oh my God, she's taking deep breaths, the anxiety and the angst and everything that comes up because of my completely dysfunctional brain. When it comes to my birthday, my escape plan works best. So, yeah, I've already booked a trip to go out of the country on my birthday next year.

Chrisy: 19:23

Are we allowed to disclose where it's not?

Kerry: 19:24

finalized. Yet when we go on our trip here next week that we're going out of the country next week, I will finalize the details and then I'll let you know and that way, if you guys want to come, you're welcome to come. My birthdays in the caribbean are always fun?

Chrisy: 19:43

I'm sure they are, and I wouldn't know what to do. I'd probably be holding on to a palm tree saying I'm not leaving trust me, we don't always want to come back either, I'm sure I can. I've seen pictures. I don't know how I end up, but thank god I finally see you again, because I worry sometimes I can get that. I get that.

Kerry: 20:01

So yeah, so that's kind of the my recap and, yeah, probably more than all of you wanted to hear about, but thank you for letting me have my safe space to talk about this absolutely well if it makes you feel any better.

Chrisy: 20:12

I was trying to really, because when we talked about doing this, yeah and I was looking at what I could contribute with this, because, again, my birthday means a little bit of a different thing than to me, than for you, and I was just like really digging for, like, what are some birthday memories I have?

Kerry: 20:27

And I mean because I just don't really because you're on the opposite coin for me, yeah.

Chrisy: 20:38

I mean, I'm completely dysfunctional on birthdays and you are very good and healthy around birthdays, the one place where I am. That is probably one of the very few places I am. But then I started thinking about birthdays when I was little and, like I said, most of the time it was just me and friends, generally not very supervised. But I do remember I had a birthday party and I had to be not even 10 years old and I had some friends from school over and I was talking about this with my husband and my oldest daughter and they just can't figure out why. It seems like with me. If you were my friend during that time period, you generally had to accept the fact that you were going to get hurt.

Chrisy: 21:13

I meanalie learned that the hard way fingers.

Kerry: 21:16

Is true, you're either. Something was broken, some fingernail was coming off. You were poisoned with mothballs, you were pushed on a bike or so what did you do now well, somebody bought me back.

Chrisy: 21:30

I don't know if they still make these things that look like this. I just remember them from like the late 70s, early 80s. You get kids like golf club sets, but it was kids set, so it was like this ridiculous Right Clown like club.

Kerry: 21:42

But wait, are you talking like an actual golf club, Just small? Are you talking like the plastic Fisher Price kind of a Kind of that? Okay got you. It's plastic, it's for kids to play with Okay got you.

Chrisy: 21:52

But it had, like this enormous yes, whatever you call it, because I'm not, I don't golf, is it?

Kerry: 21:57

Whatever the bottom of the no.

Chrisy: 21:59

What's that called on the bottom of a golf?

DJ Nick: 22:01

I don't know.

Chrisy: 22:01

It's a golf club and pretty hard plastic actually, so I didn't do it on purpose, but I remember we were playing around with this and this poor kid that I went to grade school with was standing in the wrong place.

Kerry: 22:20

Oh God, Chrissy I walloped him?

Chrisy: 22:21

Did you castrate him?

Kerry: 22:23

No, I smacked him in the head. The other head, okay.

Chrisy: 22:29

And I knocked him out. You knocked him out Cold, unconscious. He came to. It's all right, chrissy.

Kerry: 22:39

Oh my God, so sorry. That is why people remember your birthday. I bet you, he still remembers that too.

Chrisy: 22:49

I think I did run into him a couple times, probably in the last 20 years.

Kerry: 22:54

This isn't, mr Youngstown, that you no, oh no, he got.

Chrisy: 22:58

he got the wrath of me at a Halloween party. We can talk about that another time. No, this was not him.

Kerry: 23:04

Harnage of Chrissy All these kids that were hurt, maimed, injured.

Chrisy: 23:10

I will say the kid's first name, gentleman's name, now Matt. Sorry again, but I think he does not forget that I did this to him because I think he brought it up to me again. Oh my. So yeah, I love all those people who stuck around for the long term.

DJ Nick: 23:29

I tell you because, it was, it was wow.

Chrisy: 23:34

I need therapy to figure out why everybody was always getting hurt around me.

Kerry: 23:39

I think so Next year, since I'm going to be out of the country on my birthday. That will therefore in turn mean I'm in the country for your birthday, Because usually we go away either in May or June. So, next year's birthday, we're going to have to plan something big. How?

Chrisy: 23:53

old am I going to be next year? I don't remember 54. Oh really, yeah, ooh, okay, that's fine. I wonder what we could plan. We'll plan something, okay.

Kerry: 24:03

All right.

Chrisy: 24:13

That's what we can have our listeners do say start. What should we do for chrissy's birthday next year? That that will be our facebook? Oh yes, I would love to know what people think we should do probably go somewhere where there's nothing sharp or heavy.

Kerry: 24:17

I was just gonna say, and whatever gifts everyone gets her, please make sure that it can't somehow hurt you it would never hurt me.

Chrisy: 24:26

I'd make sure that it'll hurt somebody else, right?

Kerry: 24:28

that's what I'm saying if we give you a gift, whatever gift we give you, we have to look at that and go. Could this possibly come back to injure me or another guest at your party, right?

Chrisy: 24:38

probably the best gift you could get me would be a bag of marshmallows but I could probably figure out how to make that into some sort of yeah, you'll roast them and they'll be hot and on fire and they'll be awesome right exactly oh my well, this was good to kind of have this little therapy session so that I can move on in this next year with my birthday and everything please do we need to continue this open conversation of birthdays

DJ Nick: 25:01

yes, we do. I didn't realize.

Chrisy: 25:03

I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who have similar type issues.

Kerry: 25:07

Triggers it's a trigger. Yeah, so what can I say? But we want to hear your birthday issues or stories or what. If you have some memorable thing that happened on your birthday, please tell us. You can go to our Facebook page or you can check us out at Buzzsprout or, I'm sorry, dysfunctionjunkiesbuzzsproutcom. So we'll see you later. Bye, everybody, bye.