FLASHBACK FRIDAY: From Besties to Bold Voices

Think you’re the only “dysfunctional” one? Think again. This Flashback Friday episode takes you back to where it started. High school besties to grown women with no filter. We talk trauma, boundaries, and why humor keeps us sane. #dysfunctionjunkiespodcast

Chapters

• 0:00 Flashback Friday Setup
• 0:26 Why Origin Stories Matter
• 1:05 High School To Different Paths
• 2:26 Carrie's Journey From Animals To Leadership
• 3:41 Chrissy's Winding Road And Worklife
• 6:36 Why We Started The Podcast
• 8:24 Safe Space, Not Therapy
• 10:50 Humor As Tragedy Plus Time
• 12:16 The PE Class Meet-Cute
• 15:20 Finding Our Voice And Boundaries
• 17:02 Birth Order, Money, And First Cars
• 20:21 Community, Polls, And How To Connect
• 26:48 Closing And Next Week Tease

Transcript

DJ Nick: 0:06

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast. It's Flashback Friday. And now, here are your hosts, Chrisy and Kerry.

Kerry: 0:19

Hello, junkies. Kerry. And I'm Chrissy. It's Flashback Friday. Yay. And since we are now in season two, and this is just our fifth episode of the season, we thought it would be a great time to flash back to where it all started. Where we met episode one, meet your host. Yes.

Chrisy: 0:41

So that was a wonderful thing.

Kerry: 0:44

It was. So for those of you that maybe didn't listen back back in the uh earlier episodes, but kind of wonder where it all started, enjoy this episode, everybody.

Chrisy: 0:54

Yes. Thank you.

Kerry: 0:55

I'm Chrissy. And I'm Carrie. And welcome. Chrissy, this is happening. It's happening. We're doing it.

Chrisy: 1:03

We're doing it.

Kerry: 1:05

So let's tell everyone who a little bit about us, who we are, why we're doing this, and uh what we hope to achieve. Okay. That's a lot.

Chrisy: 1:14

It's a lot.

Kerry: 1:16

Well, first of all, so we were best friends in high school for a couple years of high school. Yes. In the middle years.

Chrisy: 1:24

Yes.

Kerry: 1:24

Yes.

Chrisy: 1:25

And then uh Well, I didn't show up until our sophomore year. Right.

Kerry: 1:28

You came in the sophomore year.

Chrisy: 1:30

Yeah.

Kerry: 1:30

By senior year, we started uh, you know, little little differences, no animosity, just kind of going our own different ways.

Chrisy: 1:37

She's being nice. Chrissy turned into an idiot, but wanted to do something way different than what we were doing originally. I wanted to have fun and party, party, party. My friend Carrie here was a little too mature for that.

Kerry: 1:53

So I won't say mature, but uh just on a different path in life at the time. Yeah. Thought I was in love and gonna get married and do all that stuff, and you know, so it was just on a different path in the moment. Gotcha. All right.

Chrisy: 2:07

Well, I don't know what path I was on. The path to the sneaking into the local bar, usually, but oh well. Different time, people. Don't judge. We don't judge here. You don't judge either. Not at all. Again, this is your safe space. It's a safe space. Yeah. So let's hear a little bit about your background, Carrie.

Kerry: 2:26

Okay, yeah. So we went to Catholic High School in uh Northeast Ohio, Rust Belt area, and I wanted to be an animal trainer. That was just my aspiring wanted to be, but had no support of my family and friends. And um basically everyone thought I was nuts. They're like, you can't make a living out of that, but I proved them all wrong.

Chrisy: 2:47

Yes, you did.

Kerry: 2:47

Yes, I did. So I went to college, got a degree in behavioral psychology, uh, went on to work for a major marine park and worked with all kinds of different animals, mostly domestic animals, but was around other ones. In fact, I wouldn't doubt that I'm in many people's family vacation photos because I was on stage performing with animals and uh we'd do meet and grease afterwards. But yeah, so I achieved my dream and then later moved on to Las Vegas and uh got to work with some lions at a major hotel. So again, look through those uh vacation packets, you might see more videos of me. So, but then I decided I guess I gotta grow up and get a real job. So I worked for animal control in a police department. But in 2013, my husband and I moved back here to Northeast Ohio. And um, now I have an adult job. I'm executive director of a church and uh have a little family hobby farm and have my husband and grandchildren, and we raise puppies for a major organization that provides service dogs for people with disabilities.

Chrisy: 3:56

And now podcasting with my high school BFF and her complete opposite in everything she just said. I too have been uh raised here in Northeast Ohio and was at the Catholic High School Carrie, of course. And then after high school, I did venture into college with absolutely no direction, just signed up and went. Didn't know what I wanted to be. My mother wanted me to be involved in music, she thought I was gonna be a superstar. Well, you had an amazing voice. She was like uh what they call those stage mothers. Oh, yeah, but she never went anywhere near the stage. She just thought maybe I should be there. So it was like getting pushed off of a cliff. And I just usually circled back and didn't end up going where she thought, anyhow. But I got a degree in English literature, not because that's what I wanted to do. I could name off all the other things I majored in prior to coming to that. I wended up in literature, not because I like to read, because I hate to read, but because uh for the college that we went to, the university, not a lot of film classes. Nope, but all whatever we had was in that department. Yeah. So I squeezed myself into that and uh BS my way through a lot of books.

Kerry: 5:19

To get a BS, you BS'd or something.

Chrisy: 5:21

I got a BA and BS is what I got because pretty much was able to ace anything for the most part if there was a movie made from the book. Oh, yes. Because I probably saw the movie. Yes, but that got me into trouble sometimes too, because as everybody knows, those movies don't move. Movies are not like the books. So usually by the professor's look on their face when I was trying to explain something, would tell me I needed to shut up because uh I was way off. Met my husband down on campus. We kind of knew each other prior to that. We got married. I went through a lot of really weird jobs with a lot of very interesting companies. Great for future podcasts to talk about this. I worked for a very good collection of what represents the city where we're from. Yes. And again, we'll get into that at another time. But I did eventually land uh a job where I've been for 20 years with a very good company. It's a family company that's been around for over a hundred years, and they're good people, and they continue to employ me. They've been good to you. Thank them for that. So uh, and then uh here we are with this podcast. I mean, just uh Carrie and I talking about all this crazy stuff we've experienced. We came in and out of each other's lives over the last few years, trying to be lives are busy.

Kerry: 6:46

Yeah, but we always found that when we talked to each other, it was always great therapy because we would find out that you know we're going through similar things. Uh, may not have been exactly the same, but the same problems or the same uh childhood traumas or issues that we went through, we're learning from, and uh how those dysfunctions or things that happened to us then are affecting us now as adults and how we're working through it and through our conversations and a lot of laughter. You know, we it was you get through things, and yeah, like five months ago, we were on the phone and uh kind of just randomly made a comment about a podcaster writing a book, and here we are. I can't believe that was five months ago. I was doing the math as I was driving here today, and I'm like, this has been five months in the making, but we have done a lot of work in five months to get here.

Chrisy: 7:34

Yes, we have uh and you do grow as you get older. Yeah, there's a lot of realizations I think that Carrie and I have come to. Yes. That we did not have 10 years ago, 20 years ago, especially not 30 years ago when we were friends. Exactly. And I'm sure a lot of you out there have experienced this too. So again, this is the place for you to sort of uh know that there are other people who have these weird, crazy experiences that uh we're more than happy to discuss those at this point in our lives.

Kerry: 8:05

But we want to make some disclaimers today so that when you're listening to our future episodes, that one we are not therapists, not at all. Nowhere near. This is our own therapy for us, and we have a feeling that many of you are probably uh gonna relate to things that we've said or that we're talking about. And we hope, if anything, that it's just again, it's your safe space that you'll be able to, you know, commiserate with us, and that it it'll just be it's a fun place. We're again, we're we're gonna be laughing at some things, also no judgment here. So, you know, again, it's our safe space. This is where you can talk about those things with your girlfriend or your friends, or you know, that you can just tell it how you really feel.

Chrisy: 8:48

So absolutely, and I think that if you can somehow relate to things we have, which I'm sure you will, yes, also you might realize in listening with us that you didn't realize that you were experiencing some of these similar things. Exactly. And we don't want that to become a problem, meaning now you're having nightmares because you didn't realize that you were experiencing this. PTSD. Yes, yes, but please understand that when you realize that, need to just face it. Yep. And then there is always humor in this. But we have to laugh because anything else is going to break you. So everything has a funny side, I think. For the most part.

Kerry: 9:33

We do. So yeah. And I think along with that, too, is a matter of, you know, we are gonna talk about at times maybe some serious issues. And again, we're not trying to make light of them, but we're just talking about how things have affected us, how we've moved on, and you know, hopefully, you know, see some clarity out of it. And throughout the different podcasts, we're gonna be asking for your feedback. So on our Facebook page or, you know, even on our website or emailing us, whatever, we want your input. We want to know if what we talked about hit home with you today, or uh we might do some polls. So yeah, we really want this to be an engagement with all of you listeners out there, you know, on what we're talking about, or maybe some future topics. If there's something that's been getting on your craw and you want to talk about it, we know let us know because chances are we've experienced it too, and we just hadn't thought about like, oh yeah, like that's a dysfunction, or that's a that's a something we want to talk about.

Chrisy: 10:27

Right. And the word dysfunction here, we're using in a way that has an umbrella over a lot of different things. Exactly. Exactly. It's probably not the clinical definition that we're using.

Kerry: 10:39

Or the Webster's dictionary.

Chrisy: 10:40

Right, because we are not psychologists. No. And uh just to uh throw this out here, how we can do this humor thing, this is on me. I once watched a movie where the person in this movie made a statement that humor is tragedy plus time. Now, this is not my line. Yeah, so do you remember the movie? I do. I don't know. Am I allowed to promote movies? I don't know. Um am I? Oh well, you can reference it. You're referencing this and um now I'm gonna get into a whole other thing because talk about dysfunction. It was a Woody Allen movie, people. And I believe it was Alan Alda. For all of you youngins out there probably have no idea who that is. But for aging. Uh it was him, and it the movie was Crimes and Misdemeanors. Oh good movie. I I know I might have to I don't think I'm people are gonna jump all over me because of the Woody Allen thing. I'm sorry. This is a film. No judgment, safe space, safe space, space. I'm sorry, I think it's a good movie, and I love the line, and I think it does pertain to a lot. It is, so there you go.

Kerry: 11:52

Yeah, you are definitely more of a movie movie buff, but you also have an excellent memory for details. Like we were when when we started getting back together talking, you remembered the very first time we met.

Chrisy: 12:02

Well, I remembered the first time because uh apparently I was a bully. Oh no, no, no, this was not a bully situation.

Kerry: 12:10

It was a survival situation for Carrie, but um let's Chrissy tell you how we met.

Chrisy: 12:16

We we were in phys ed together. This was I think the only classic. Yeah, I think it was. Yeah, and uh because I think Carrie was in the smart people classes, but you are a smart person too. Oh, I didn't say what, but yeah, and the parents again, my parents were uh parenting from afar and didn't think that maybe they should have seen maybe Chrissy can handle this. I don't know, but phys ed class. Phys ed class. Uh they made us run. I hate running. I'm sure most of you do. It's terrible. I don't know why people do it on purpose unless you're being chased, but we had to run. We were inside in a gym. Inside in the gym. And I was uh running with somebody, uh another person who was not real adept at running fast or uh with the rest of the group. And uh Carrie had probably already passed me three or four times. I have no recollection. The gym teacher got very frustrated because me and the same girl were just like completely lagging. I mean, we were just really we were power walking. We were probably just trying to make it look like we were away. It was power walking, if that. Or we were taking a walk in the park type of thing. And so Carrie came up behind us because the gym teacher said, Look, you're gonna have to run more laps if you two don't get moving. Chopped. And I was like, what the hell's wrong with this guy? I'm like, Jesus, I mean, yeah, I gotta go to another class after this. I don't want to exhaust myself. Carrie came up and she said, Look, I'm not running more because of you. So get moving. And then she went on her merry way, and I was like, God damn, that bitch just told us we have to run.

Kerry: 13:52

No, wait, you gotta hear the other half of the story. I too was not a runner, and running was I was one of those kids that I was never conditioned to run. And uh, so I would get these really bad pains in my side, like from you know, breathing too hard, and it would just literally be like someone was stabbing me. So I really think in my defense that I was just dying, also, and I'm like, oh my gosh, if I have to do another lap around this gym, I'm literally going to die. So I wasn't trying to be mean, I was it was survival.

Chrisy: 14:22

Well, you're hilarious because you actually ran to the point of feeling pain. I wasn't gonna run that hard to feel anything. I mean, I you you were dedicated to at least getting to that point. I was like, it's I'm sure I would have had pain too. I would have probably had a full asthma attack and you know, the whole thing. So now that is how we met. That's how we met. Yes. Now, where it gets foggy is how we became so chummy. That I don't remember because we didn't have classes. So somehow I think we must have been in gym class, and eventually I got over the fact that you told me I need to realize that I was speed.

Kerry: 15:04

Yeah, maybe you realized I really wasn't an athletic person. I really was on Team Chrissy as far as the non-athletic side.

Chrisy: 15:12

Well, I don't know that I ever come to that because you were fairly in shape. I was a formal fat girl, so I mean, I'd gotten into some shape prior to our sophomore year. Before that, pretty much a slug everywhere. But uh, so we did. We we became uh fairly chummy.

Kerry: 15:29

Yeah, we were very we were great. So yeah. Then, you know, like we said, uh college kind of came along, started going different ways in our life. But uh yeah, over the last couple years, started been chatting more and getting together more, talking more, and now we're here. So I'm sure throughout the podcast you'll hear a lot more stories, but that's always a funny story I I I love hearing every time because I just think it's hysterical. And Chrissy remembers to the T how we met. Yes, yes, yes. So now we're fast forward to here we are now. So we're both uh different points in our life, and um we've realized that we kind of have no filter. You know how they hear about that with people when they get older, they have no filter. I think you've always been better about not having a filter, very much so. I had a filter, but I was, you know, but lately in the last five, seven years, yeah, my filter is definitely going because I've I've learned how to create healthy boundaries and stand up for myself. My family actually has always called me the sheriff. I don't know if you knew that.

Chrisy: 16:28

No, yeah, they please uh get elaborate a little bit on that because I don't even know what that would mean.

Kerry: 16:34

Well, I think it's because, you know, just through things in my life, you know, had I did have a rough childhood and there was some trauma and things that happened there. So I've kind of always been a fighter and I've always been one for right and wrong, and there's not a lot of gray. And I say things, I stand up and say things. I think part of me is always trying to be protect people around me because I didn't feel protected as a child. I do get mama bear on things. In any case, uh, yeah, so my family will call me the sheriff because if something isn't right, I am more than willing to call it out and to say something, uh, which goes against everything that my family stood for. Because my family, and we'll talk about this in one of our other episodes. We didn't talk about elephants in the room, we didn't talk about problems, but I broke that mold. And so I would talk about it, I'd bring things up and I'd call things out. So, yeah, so my nickname in my family is called the Sheriff. So, but I think it's something that was a good life lesson for me to learn because it's, you know, kind of made me who I am. It's made me be able to recognize these things that have happened in life and dysfunctions and to be able to, I feel like made me a better person. So I don't know if everyone else would agree.

Chrisy: 17:39

Yeah, no, I agree a hundred percent. I don't even know. I could probably make a long list of all the names I had in my family and still do. Don't care. But uh good, bad, or indifferent? Good, bad or indifferent. That's pretty much it. But uh one of the things probably was more of the invisible child because early on my parents uh had two, I'm one of three. I have two older sisters. They were much older than me, like almost 12 years and almost like 10 years older than me. So when my parents were having kids uh during that time period of like the 60s and stuff, when all of their friends and family members were having kids at the same time, they were real involved with everybody. And then they had me, and by that time, most of their friends were not having kids, they were at a different point in their lives. So when I would usually show up with my parents somewhere, they didn't even know that I existed. Like, oh, you had another kid. Oh or you know, and I used to hear a lot from family members. I I I remember uh, you know, your sisters uh when they were little, but I don't remember when you were little, Christine. It's like probably because you just weren't around, you know. I mean and I didn't know a lot of these people. Yeah, my uh mom had a lot of relatives that were uh aunts and uncles and cousins. I didn't know who all these people were.

Kerry: 18:57

Did they ever say you were an accident? Were you an oops?

Chrisy: 19:01

Yeah, I suppose I was.

Kerry: 19:02

But they didn't use that term?

Chrisy: 19:04

No, they I don't think my mother thought they kind of told my mom medically that she probably couldn't have any more kids. Okay, and in fact, I was pretty close to gotten rid of because they said that she had something, her uterus was uh the size of a five-month pregnancy. Oh, and that she needed to have a hysterectomy because she had a lot of problems. Yeah. At that point when I was uh born and stuff, they had just started testing before they would do such a sur surgery. So they said, Oh, by the way, your uterus is uh the size of a five-month pregnancy because you have you're pregnant. Oh and everybody at that time, believe it or not, my mother said they used to tell her she's too old to have a baby. She was only 31 when she had babies.

Kerry: 19:50

Oh my gosh.

Chrisy: 19:51

So, but back then, late 60s, early 70s, that was, I guess, considered old.

Kerry: 19:57

And you know, that's kind of something too that we have in common is your sisters are older than you, just like my four sisters. So I'm the youngest of five daughters, and so yeah, there's like eight to fourteen years difference. So that I think that's another reason why we're kindred spirits. We're both the youngest of the family, both of all sisters, and having that age grap where we were kind of we were came from family, but we grew up as only children.

Chrisy: 20:19

Yes, which I think is a huge benefit.

Kerry: 20:23

Yes. I mean, agree.

Chrisy: 20:25

I think you have siblings, and so you have to deal with them on the level of having siblings. It's I think a little different when they're older like that because you don't fight like other kids do with their siblings when they're close in age. Yeah, but you also get that feeling because they're out of them. By the time I was nine, both my sisters were pretty much out of the house and either married or going to be getting married. So you felt like a only child. Other benefit is usually your parents are a little bit more financially settled in their 30s than they were in their 20s. So there's the financial gain for us kids. The youngest ones, yep, we get the best of everything, the best clothes. Yep. Usually, so you can squeeze squeeze a private education out of them, and uh, you know, maybe a nice car on your 16th or 17th birthday. I didn't get that, but yes.

Kerry: 21:14

I didn't know how to ask. You should ask me how to ask. I've already told you. I had okay, okay, so let's talk about cars. So your 16th birthday, you got a car.

Chrisy: 21:22

17th, 17th, because I didn't learn how to drive right away. I didn't get my license right away because the boy that's sort of our other connection between Carrie and I, I was dating for a long time and he was a year older. He had uh the opportunity to borrow his family's car all the time, and he would drive me everywhere.

Kerry: 21:39

So you didn't need there was no need.

Chrisy: 21:40

So there was no need, but then when we broke up, I was like, I can't be sitting at home. No. So I got my license, and then I scored a Camaro on my 17th birthday. That's crazy.

Kerry: 21:51

So I grew up more out on the countryside of town, on the edge of town where it was starting to become farmland, and um, I did have a horse. My ride when I turned 16 was some old Chevy truck, I don't remember the year, but I know it had a 454 engine or something. It was rusted out literally when I would drive to because it was about what 20-minute drive from where I lived to the high school. Probably we had to get on the freeway and go downtown city. I literally had to have a piece of plywood underneath my gas pedal because it was all rotted out, like you could see the road under the gas pedal.

Chrisy: 22:29

Oh my god, I didn't even know you had this truck.

Kerry: 22:31

Yeah, it was this tan truck. So most of the time I would ride the bus to school, but I did have a truck that we would I would occasionally drive. So, but anyways, though it was definitely like the Flintstones. Yeah, we're getting images of that with the hole in the man, Carrie, that's I don't remember that. I know, yeah. Well, like I said, we I yes, I came from, you know, we were a middle class family, but and we'll talk about this in one of the other episodes. But my dad was definitely had some gambling issues. So money was not a security in our house. So part of the reason why I'm driving the Flintstone truck with the hole in the you know, floor had to have the plywood. If it rained, oh gosh forbid, because the rain would splatter up. Oh my god. My bobby socks would have white or stains on them from the freeway. Oh my god.

Chrisy: 23:26

See the things you learn, but wow, that's uh yeah, I did not know that. And I am so sorry.

Kerry: 23:31

That's um hey, it's it all works out. We all get to better places in our life, we learn from it.

Chrisy: 23:37

So this is not a horrible thing. I'm sure a lot of you have stories of your first vehicles. Maybe some of you now remember my Camaro was not a brand new Camaro. I got it in '89 and it was an 82. Yeah. And it was a standard. It was not still a nice car. It was nice. It was nice, and I loved it. And I did I had it for a very long time. I didn't get rid of it until I was pregnant with my son. My husband was sick of it, taking his space up in the garage. And we didn't drive it, and it had a lot of things that needed done to it. Just not anything we were really committed to. And to be honest, by that time in my life, uh, when I was uh pushing 40, yeah, when I sat in it, I didn't feel 19 or anything. No, you feel like you're sitting on the ground. Yes. I had to roll my windows down.

Kerry: 24:29

I've always been more of a truck person. I couldn't, I couldn't have a car like that.

Chrisy: 24:33

Well, and my husband uh one time I approached him and said, you know what be a fun project for us? Because I said, My husband's very book smart, very smart. And he, I thought, well, we'll get a book and we'll fix our car together. It'd be a nice couple's project. Well, I insulted the hell out of him with that one because he said, uh, my family did not raise me as smart as I am and encourage me to use my mind to fix a car. It didn't interest him at all. So mechanics was not the thing. No, no, it just wasn't it. And I am sure he could have totally did it. But no. That's why you pay a mechanic to take care of the car. That's probably what he thought. And he didn't feel like paying a mechanic. So he was like, just get rid of the headache, and then we'll be happy. And we'll have more space in the garage. Yeah, for me instead of sitting at my car sitting out in the cold all the time.

Kerry: 25:24

So but uh so that's kind of a little bit about us. So moving forward, uh, we've got a lot of great episodes lined up. We were gonna talk about a lot of different things, just life in general, and we kind of hope that you all enjoy it.

Chrisy: 25:41

So yes, and give us feedback. Yes, let us know some weird things because we will be happy to mention these stories and give you either we totally get it, or we are amazed by it, and we want to give it a little bit of a shout out because we want everybody to feel comfortable here and to feel like you are seen and we hear you. Absolutely. Because that is important. Uh, we all have these wonderful and crazy experiences, and they make us who we are.

Kerry: 26:07

Yes. So I think what we'll do is let's put some kind of poll on our Facebook page today. Maybe we should do a little poll of hmm, maybe what kind of car we can ask people what kind of car they got for when they turned 16 or 17, what their first car was.

Chrisy: 26:24

Yes, we would love that. Yeah. And did you have to beg for it? Yeah. Or did you inherit it and it was a piece of crap and you hated it? Did you have to worry about rain coming in through your floor? Were you doing the flint stones to get going every morning?

Kerry: 26:38

So I'm gonna put that on our Facebook page. So where can they find us? So you guys can go to our Facebook page. You just hook up uh dysfunction junkies. We also have an Instagram page, you can look up us there. And then we have our website, which is dysfunction junkies.buzzsprout.com. But all of that will tell a little bit, you know, have some information about us. And for your podcast where you're listening to on iTunes or whatever other media, please give us a review today. We would love to see five star ratings um so we can grow our customers, grow our listeners, share more of our stories. But yeah, anything you can do to help us out that way would be very much appreciated. So definitely look us up there, check out that poll, and then we'll be coming back to you soon with another episode. See you next week.