Baby Showers And Bridal Showers Without The Cringe

Microwaved candy bars in diapers. Toilet paper wrapped around a pregnant belly. A room full of people you half-know watching you open gifts you may not even need. We’ve both been to enough baby showers and bridal showers to admit it: a lot of “traditions” feel less charming with every year, and some of them are downright uncomfortable. We’re unpacking the most awkward traditions and how to make celebrations less painful. Listen now and tell us your worst game?

Transcript

Hello Spring And Small Talk

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the Dysfunction Junkies Podcast, where we may not have seen it all, but we've seen enough. And now here we're out. Chrissy and Carrie.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Hello, Junkies. I'm Carrie. Chrissy. Happy spring? Yeah, I think we could say it's spring. I believe we are officially in spring. I guess it just depends on where you're at in the country, if it really feels like spring, or if it looks like spring, or are you still thinking winter? But it's spring.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

I guess where you are, what what do we have going on? You have pretty the your temperatures pretty much stay close to being the same all the time.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Yeah, it's definitely getting warmer. So we're starting to reach the upper 90s here in St. George, Utah, but our nights are cooler, but the trees are blooming and the leaves are coming out on the trees. Yeah, we're definitely on our way towards full-blown spring. But so what about you? You still got snow?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Yeah. We do have a little bit of snow and cold temperatures, and my furnace continues to run, and it's gonna get a little warmer, and then it's gonna get cold again. Yeah, we're not telling anybody they don't already know. Exactly.

Why Showers Feel Outdated

SPEAKER_02 1:34

This is the time of year where everything is having babies, all the wildlife, all the animals and people. So today people we thought we would talk about all the different like baby showers and wedding showers because we're gonna be getting into wedding season here too. We thought we'd take a little jaunt down that lane and talk about all the dysfunctions and oh joys of having showers.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Well, I had a bridal shower when I and I had a baby shower when I had my first. And I've gone to plenty. Yeah, and they're not my favorite thing to attend. No. And I'm going to them, I reflected on it and thought, what is it about this that I really just don't enjoy? Generally, if the food's good, I enjoy that. So that helps. Yeah. But I looked some information up, you know me. I'm always digging for info, and I found some information as to why this is dysfunctional. It's outdated tradition, was the first thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

I read that in the show. And what did you think? Do you feel this?

SPEAKER_02 3:00

I was like, oh, 100%. This is a very out. It had a reason in the past. It had a reason back in the day to help new newlyweds or a new family get the things they needed, struggling incomes back in the day of coming out of the depression and things. So I could totally see why this started, but I am not a fan. And I sorry to all my friends who have had weddings or baby showers that I didn't attend. Yeah, that was on purpose. I'll um I'll send a gift. It's not that I'm not happy for you, not going to celebrate you, but by God, don't make me endure those showers. I I can't.

Games Everyone Secretly Hates

SPEAKER_01 3:43

I don't like them. Well, what is it about them that just the having to sit and endure all these people?

SPEAKER_02 3:54

I think it's the I can't stand the games, first of all. I the games, uh I just I can't. I don't want to look at melted candy bars in a diaper because then uh it it ruins the candy bar for me. Next time I leave a is this games that they do? You've never seen that game? They melt the different types of candy bars in a diaper in a microwave, and then you have to identify what the candy bar is so it looks like different types of baby poo. So was it a Mr. Good Bar or was it a Snickers bar? Was it a Butterfinger?

SPEAKER_01 4:39

First I'm offended that we're destroying good candy. Secondly, it's disgusting, as you said. And you're gonna see plenty of things that look like that as the new parents.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

And I get it, that's the reason for the game, but still from the person in the room that really didn't have much experience with that, and I'm glad I dodged a lot of that, and I don't want to look at that.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

This won't surprise you, but when I had my bridal shower and my baby shower, I refused to allow any games. Bless you. I would have come to that. I just I didn't, but you didn't like the fact that I didn't allow the chicken dance. Yeah, I didn't like the dance and the whatever the hell else people do at these weddings. I didn't the hokey pokies and the crazy other crap. I didn't have that either, but I did not want games. I remember I don't remember ever being present for the candy bar shit stained diaper things. But I do remember going to a shower a very long time ago, and everybody somebody walked around with a roll of toilet paper and went to every guest, women, of course. It was for a baby shower, and they asked you to tear off so much of the toilet paper. You were supposed to see if you it would wrap around the expectant mother's stomach. So whoever made it the closest without it being too much or too little won a prize. Again, we must be very fixated on when we're having babies, everything that means defecation. We're using toilet paper for the game, we're sticking candy bars and diapers. Is this really what we're celebrating? Two years of this?

SPEAKER_00 6:40

What having kids is a shit job? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Oh, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Then there's the game where they want you to write words of affirmation or kind or encouraging thoughts on the diaper. So whenever the parents have to change the diapers, it'll help them have a better experience. Good job, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:02

You got this, or please, this is not real.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Yeah, I've been to a lot of baby showers, but I've been enough to know some of these games or things that you have to do. You know, they have that whole bin of diapers, and you gotta write words of affirmation. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

No, so I'm not into the games. You're not into the games either. No. I did the only thing I do remember from my bridal shower was that I did, you know how they have you, they'll leave an envelope at the table. And they want you to put your name and address on it. Excuse me. So that you they can send you your thank you. Yeah, and it just helps them out to write out your thank you envelopes. Totally okay with that. So what I did was I yeah, and so I had everybody do that, and then we gathered up the envelopes, and then I had door prizes, but nobody had to play anything. We just would randomly while I was opening up gifts, people would pull a few you know, names, yeah, and then just hand down a prize. That's good. I wasn't gonna make you work for it.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Well, because we all know Chrissy wouldn't want to have to work for it, so no.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

So why would I make you do that? Damn. So out of the fact that it's an outdated tradition, financial pressure comes up as a as an issue. Yeah, and I'm guessing maybe for whoever's throwing you the shower, maybe. Yeah. Which I don't know. I understand this could be a financial pressure, but I think probably the actual wedding event. Yeah, if you're doing if we're talking about bridles, that's more fun. A shower generally, you can pull off, in my opinion, a decent one, but I don't know. Yeah, I've was married how many years is it now? 30 something years ago, 34 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

And so financial obligations are probably, I'm sure, a lot different.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

You know what gets me too about the it's not so much, it's more on the attending end because I've only had to throw two baby showers in. The one was for my son, and actually, my sister's helped with that. And I will have to say, and maybe I'm partial because it was my son and for my first grandbaby that this baby shower, but it was the funnest baby shower ever, but it was co-ed, and it it just really was a different feel, and I so I think I like that better than just the women there. It was all co-ed and the games that we did where they had this race on who could bathe and dress and get the baby. They had a baby doll, and it was a lot of fun, but yeah, so I have I've only had to throw two, but on the re on the other end of getting invited, nothing will want to make me unfriend somebody faster than when I haven't talked to them, don't hardly see them on Facebook, hardly any interaction, and all of a sudden I get an invitation to a shower or a birthday party for one of their kids that I haven't seen. I probably maybe never saw that. Maybe I was invited to the baby shower. Now the kids too, and they're inviting me, and it's I'm not even in your life. Why? And then I get angry because then I'm like, you just want a gift. Let's just let's use the way to get pre-shit. And I have no problem giving gifts and no problem being for the people that I are in my circle. But when people try to infiltrate that and force me, yeah, you'll get it, you'll get it not attending.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

You do sometimes get invitations and you wonder how you got on that list. And I've actually gotten invitations and things and had to ask Nick who is this? Do you know who this person is? Remind me, do I know who this person is? Yeah, I don't remember going all out. I had one, some people have more than one bridal shower because they at least this is I'm just remembering what they used to do. I feel like, but maybe they don't do this anymore. They used to do it where the bride's family had her shower and then the groom's family had theirs. Yeah. I remember my oldest sister, hers were set up that way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Mine was I think just everybody comes from because there's a territorialism, like one family, no, we want to throw the shower, and then the other is the other family that no, we're gonna, oh, that's my sister. I'm gonna throw the shower. So they just have to each have their own. I feel like I didn't think of that, yeah. Because usually dueling mother, because if I feel like all the ones I've gone to that were like that, where you there was more than one, it was something like that, other than unless it was an out of state. So I've had one where there was a family that the mother's family, and that's where the wedding was going to be. So we had to drive up there. Then there was another one for the closer people, but yet we weren't expected to go to both. But yeah, but I feel like when there's two in the same region, that if you got a dysfunctional family going on here that can't get along to even just put their differences aside and go co-ed or jointly.

Registries Then Versus Now

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yeah, no, I agree with that. So, yeah, it is what it is. Um I'm just reading my notes here. An event like this transforms from intimate to a high-stakes consumer-driven production. Oh, yeah. Isn't that everything in our lives, though? We do that with everything, we do that with holidays, we do that with birthdays, we do that with showers and weddings and everything else. I guess funerals too. I don't know. But uh, yeah, I think intimate just to give like my wedding, my my wedding shower was fine. I just did one, and it was very nice, but I was very young. I've already touched a little bit about uh the fact that I have a background in working in bridal registry. Yes, and as obnoxious as I felt working with those brides to be were, I was also, I'm sure, obnoxious. I registered for things that it really should be somebody practical walking you around trying to tell you this is what I recommend. Yeah, I registered for crystal, which does anybody give two shits about crystal anymore? Anyone want it? You know how much my crystal was that I registered for$30 plus dollars a stem. Oh my word. That's one glass. One glass, yeah. One glass. Wow. It was like from Slovenia or somewhere. Oh my word. And I've never really drank one damn thing. You actually got them too. You registered for them and somebody bought them for you? No, I didn't get a lot. Well, but I didn't know. What's the other thing? Yeah, oh no, I got I have, and then what some of these places used to do, I don't know if they still do them, when we used to have Kaufman's, which is I'm guessing we used to register. Yeah. The department store. Kaufman's, JC Pence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were the two big places you registered. I we didn't really have that linens and things, which is yeah, and there was Bed Bath and Beyond, which is gone. Yeah, I think now. I know everybody does like Amazon registries, and then there's these specific sites that you can do weddings and for baby showers that you can register at. But when I got married, it was pretty much Kaufman's and JC Penny's were the games at. And so you register for that stuff. But you're basically detracting from the stuff on your registry that you could really use. Yeah. And you're you're making people put money towards something that's basically useless. Yeah. So it's a mistake. And I don't think one thing I have to say, I don't always brag too much about the younger people these days as far as their choices. Right. But I think they probably are smarter when it comes to being practical about this.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Oh, 100%. Yeah. I know we hit them hard last week with our pajamas in public episode. But I will say you are right. The registries now, I actually don't have any problems with because it's it really truly is like the last couple baby showers that I got invited to that I just regretfully declined, but yet my gift, I loved it because right then and there, on right, I get the invitation, I could go to Amazon. They've got really practical things that they're gonna use. It's not gonna just sit in a corner or whatever, whether it's something simple like 10 boxes of diapers or something to use in the bathtub for the baby or whatever, but then you send it and it goes ships directly to them from Amazon. You don't have to order it, get it home, mail it back. No, so I love that convenience in having that. And I do agree the younger generation does a much better job of it's more things they need, or that maybe there is a want and not a need, and there might be a and I like that when they have a range, you'll see a couple high-priced items, but then very reasonable. Like they're thinking about the people that they're inviting to, that they're making sure that it's there's something in all price ranges. So kudos to our younger generation for that.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Yes, I agree, I agree. Yeah, but we used to go. Remember, you had to go and shop for it, you had to go and print out a register. Yes, then you had to walk around the store trying to find the stuff, yeah. And then you would decide what you're gonna buy, checked out with it, then you had to take it to another department to get it wrapped. So the time you were gonna wrap it, yeah. So you had to then take it and have it wrapped and all that. I don't I'm sure that people there's a lot of people who don't know what the hell we're talking about. Yeah, I'm sure. There was actually a department where somebody sat there and you could pick out what type of paper you wanted and they wrap the gifts for you. The other thing on the list, forced gift giving. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say with the wrapping thing, why again, why I like the Amazon is because I don't have to worry about that. But if you really want a nice touch, you can click where it'll wrap the gift and send it. Oh, so it does do that. Yeah, I've never um I think it depends on the gift. Sometimes on where what where on Amazon it's coming from, but there usually is are you giving this a gift? And if you say yes, it'll there'll be an option of do you want this gift packaged?

Awkward Mingling And Old Drama

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Oh, okay. No, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Forced gift giving. You feel like you're gonna send a gift, so you're forced to do it. I don't know. Like I said, if it's somebody that you know that's in your life that's important, uh it's not forced. You might feel a little bit like it's forced when, like you said, you get this invite and you haven't seen anybody or talked to these people, or even know who the hell they are, but so I guess you feel a little bit hijacked with what you want to do, and then awkward social dynamics. Well, it's the word I have to be around more than two people. It's people you don't want to do, you know.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Usually in these situations, I have to be around people who I've probably had some altercation with in the past. Yeah, there you go. That's my experience. Yeah, and so I either have to suck it up and just be nice through my teeth being clenched, or stay away from whoever I don't want to be around. Yeah, I've gotten better at this as I've gotten.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

I will have to say that's the other part of it for me that when, and I get it, the host is trying to do a good job. Oh, this is my this is my aunt, and she is an animal trainer or whatever. And so they'll introduce me to, oh, these are my best friends from school or whatever. So that little snippet of information that those people got, they try to now create. Now you're in that awkward situation in the room or waiting for something to start, and everyone's just mingling, and you may not know a lot of people. So people will take that little bit of information and that's all they can talk to you about because they don't know you enough to talk about. So it'll be like, Oh, you train animals, and then it starts. They want to tell me about their dog, or here's the problem I have, and and so it's just there's so much more to me than just that. And so you try to deflect the conversation, you try to learn something about them, but it constantly the next person comes around the corner. Oh, I heard you train animals, and it's you're in an endless circle.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

You can't get out of it.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

You can't get out of it. It's like, oh, but yeah, your face hurts a fake smile.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Oh god, yeah, that does hurt. Um, I had an experience when I was really little. It was at my sister's shower, so this would be early 80s. Okay. And I did not understand what I was witnessing, but I then after I got older and then heard stories of family drama, then it made sense. And I remember seeing a woman come to my sister's shower, and I think my mom and some other people made it a point to go over and greet her and everything. And I knew that she was related to a lot of the other people who were there, but they were not sitting together. And so I saw this woman sitting by herself, and I felt bad. And I was only like eight, nine years old, and I said, geez, what's what the heck? This poor lady is sitting there alone, and um it seems like people are going out of their way to avoid her. And and then I got older and I heard the stories, and then I there was like drama going on, and eventually it all worked itself out, but and for that little brief moment in time, I remember seeing that. Oh everybody's got stupid stories.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Oh, yeah. The best story I have is when I was like, I think I was like um maybe 12. No, it'd probably be about right, but maybe 12 or 13. My one sister got married, and I was in the wedding, and they were having a bachelorette party for her. And so if this was actually down at Mill Creek Park at one of the cabins that was rented, so you know it's a bachelorette party, but I didn't under really understand. Like I thought it was gonna be more like a bridal shower. Maybe it was like a bridal shower that turned into a bachelorette party, but All of a sudden, this guy comes in and I end up being a stripper. Okay. And I was and they let you stay from that. I was mortified because again, just from my upbringing, he didn't talk about anything. He didn't talk about, hadn't never still had never had the talk that was given the talk. So like I it was completely virgin slate here for me. Nobody shielded you. I don't know. I'm assuming that somebody must have talked to my mom about it or whatever. But when this guy came in, at first, I think he came in with a ruse and he was the cop or whatever. So I was instantly mortified because I thought we were getting in trouble because they had alcohol there or something. And then when he when I realized what it was that he was a stripper and he started taking clothes off, I was panicked. And so I went outside. And I think one of my sister's friends, I think, came outside and tried to make sure I was okay. And I was just like sitting out on the patio, and they're like, Oh, honey, it's okay. He has a G string on. I didn't know what that meant. I had no clue what that meant. That's meant to make it better. Yeah, get what she was trying to do to tell me, like, oh, he wasn't really fully naked, but I didn't know what it was. And I will tell you, it was probably two years later before I realized because I remembered that day and I remember that, and I but I didn't know what it was, but I never asked because again, my family, you don't talk about the elephant room, so I certainly wasn't gonna ask. What so and so said it was okay because yeah, what does that mean? Hell no. So I think it wasn't, yeah, it was probably when I went freshman year that I finally figured out what it was. Probably because one of the girls in the locker room at the gym was wearing a thong or something, but yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Class with you wasn't me, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Um, so yeah, that's that social awkwardness there with that one for sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

I guess, yeah, you have to really want to be around all these different people. Well, and some people can work the room just fine, God bless them. Spotlight effect on the guest of honor. If you're real shy, I guess this could be a problem, but you're doing it because you want first of all, you want to get the stuff. But I always was well not so much for my baby shower, but for the bridal shower, because it was gonna be both our families, and I didn't always know all of these people. Yeah. And I used to hate if I was left alone to greet people. Oh, yeah, and then they would come up to me and I'd be like, really hard to look like you know, and try to talk to them like I know who they are. It's real, and I'm usually trying to grab somebody who might know who the hell this is. Yeah. Um, so I get that. Um, so some of the guest of owners can not enjoy that. What you're gonna say something.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

No, I just say that. Chrissy, phoniness is not a skill set Chrissy has. It's hard, it's so hard.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

That's why I stay in the house a lot. Yeah, I try, but it does, it hurts. It hurts, it does hurt sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

I get physically ill from being phony. Yeah, I will the one nice thing I like about when you help somebody host a shower is you have the excuse to leave. Oh, I'm gonna go get ice in the kitchen. Go into the kitchen, take your time before you head back out. Oh, I'm gonna just touch, I'm gonna get some more napkins. So you have an hour. You're busy, yeah. You can disappear. Have your sippy cup in the back room that you're getting yourself through.

Fixing The Shower Format

SPEAKER_01 25:45

I noticed you said that you've actually hosted some of these. Yeah, two. I have never been asked to host one one at all. And let me tell you why. Because this is how it's gonna be. Number one, there's not gonna be any games. No. And number two, probably gonna have a time limit. You come here, you eat, leave your gift. I am all for maybe we don't sit around, and that I'm gonna touch on that. That was another list of the people sitting around watching you open all this crap. I hate that. I guess some people maybe like to do that. No, I usually, you know, I'm like, is it done? I can't even hear him. I'm usually sitting in the back because I'm trying to get as close as I can to the door to get the hell out of there. Or the food, right? Yeah, that too. If the food's good, yeah. And you're gonna sit there and you're gonna watch him open all this. I've actually think we should really push the younger people who are doing this now. We already gave you props on how you go about registering for your gifts. How about don't open your gifts in front of everybody?

SPEAKER_02 26:50

I'd like to trend where people say you bring your gift unwrapped, and you bring your gift so it's visible, people can see what it is, and you have to have your name on it so that they know who it came from, and you put it on the table. And so then the bride or the mom to be still peruse the table and like maybe point out some things or whatever. But I love that idea. It's I don't want to watch you open your gifts because I don't want to waste that hour of my life or more, depending on how many people are there. It's more, yeah, usually.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Yeah, and I also mean if they're organized enough, what they're doing is they're somebody's bringing you the gift because you're the guest of honor. So somebody's usually bringing the gift and lining them up for you so that you can get to them quickly. Sometimes even somebody starts unwrapping the report. For bridal showers, I remember people used to take the bows from the gifts and create the bouquet. Yes. What what the hell were you supposed to do with this? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

God forbid you accidentally break a ribbon because that was gonna be the oh, that's how many kids you're gonna have if you break the ribbon.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

What do I do if it's my maid of honor that's opening the damn thing and she broke the ribbon? She's gonna have kids now, not me. Yeah. I think you know what I think I do remember now. I think what you were supposed to do with the ribbons they collected, they would put it on a paper plate and the ribbon. Is that what you were supposed to use at your rehearsal day? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh my god, all these rules. I don't think I did that to me. I didn't. Yeah. I don't think my father would have allowed it. He would have said in here.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

I had a very small bridal shower, so I think pretty much the only ones that were there were my maid of arms or my the people in the bridal party and my sisters. It was very small, so I probably didn't have enough to make a what do you call it, a fake bouquet.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

I think they did make it, but I don't know what the hell happened to it. But that's probably and the other thing is I'm probably just gonna offend everybody. I have never been asked to host anything like this or arrange anything. It's gonna be very regimented and quick and you know, probably no fun. You'll have good food. No, you'll have fun.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

It's just not gonna be traditional.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

The type of people who like to go to these things are very traditional. I'm not working for them as far as fun, they're not finding me at all. Yeah, from the word God because it's an idiot at the door. I'm like, who are you?

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Yeah, I think they should also invit a thing where you don't have a lot of chairs because then people can't get comfortable. They can't oh make everybody steep. Yeah, like just high top tables, high top tables. Oh, you're having your shower in a pub. Yes, yes, okay, and it's BYOB or not BYOB, what cash bar. Cash bar, yes.

Co-Ed Showers And Gender Roles

SPEAKER_01 29:48

There you go. You had touched on it too about that you had some showers, and I think this is definitely the way to go. Uh maybe for wedding showers it might be more appropriate, but maybe for baby showers too. But how guys come to I did go to a what they called coetter Jack and Jill shower. Yes, and it was an older couple that was getting married, yeah. And so it was pretty relaxed anyhow, but it was very fun. Yeah, and I think that I'm surprised I haven't seen more of this catch on. Yeah, because I have only been invited to one of those so far.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

So I've attended quite a few, and part of that is my one sister has many children, and so there's many opportunities for weddings and baby fappers. And those, and like I said, those ones I go to, I I do enjoy them, but it's also because of how it's run. It's not quite your traditional one. Yeah, you'll have maybe have a few games, but it's co-ed, it's more of a family gathering, but those, but it's the structured ones of the people outside my perimeter. Yeah, those are the ones I usually just decline.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

So I guess that go falls under what I have on my list is outdated gender roles. It's generally all women, yeah. And now usually they always have the groom come in at the end. Oh, yeah, bring her flower. He usually comes to eat, yeah, yeah, yeah. He comes to scarf down some food before it gets all put away and see what the hell if he got, I don't know, his winged fryer that he wanted on the registrate. And uh and I guess he's there to help clean up and carry the stuff out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

And that's usually the sign for people to wrap it up, people. The groom or the daddy should be.

Gender Reveals And Public Reactions

SPEAKER_01 31:38

I guess that is, yeah, that it tells you that everything's done. It's time to go. So they say instead of having the showers, they call these other things sprinkles. Yeah. Which I think that they have those a lot when you have a second child. Yeah. So you don't have a full Yeah, one. And the other thing too is when I had my baby shower, I my father had passed away a few months before that. So I did not have because I didn't know it was appropriate. Yeah. And I didn't want to make anybody, I had a very good turnout, but we actually just had the baby shower at my house. Yeah. And because I just didn't feel I don't really regret that much, but I do see some people really go out. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I got things I needed, so that's the most important thing. But um oh, and the other thing that I don't know if it goes into this or not, but this was not anything if it was something that was going on when I started having kids, because I was late to the game, I was late to the game on this too, and I would have never participated. These gender reveal things are ridiculous. Why do you want to share this information like that with so many people? And maybe it's just a personal thing, but don't you just want to share that with close uh people? Eventually everybody's gonna know what you had. You're not saying anything. What's the matter?

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Me what's not saying anything?

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Yeah, you're you're moving around an awful lot and you're not saying anything. You're very nervous. What do you want to say?

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Oh, the gender reviews, there's just so many things that yeah, I'm not a fan. I'm totally okay. Like, when you ask a couple, like, did you do you want to know, did you find out, or are you keeping it a surprise? And if they say yes, we know, or we're keeping it a surprise, or we're not finding out, whatever, that's totally on them. It's really just a talking point. Doesn't I have no no care whatsoever that but the gender reveals, and then when you see them go bad and they're all over social media, why is everybody doing this ridiculous stuff? Yeah, like explosives and everything. Or you see the ones where the mother-in-law like oversteps her bounds and goes and hugs the the son or the soon-to-be daddy before the wife is allowed to, or the dad gets mad because it's pink and not blue, or the kids those are really that's really upsetting if you see where they're disappointed.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

And they like lineup, like you'll see these couples that have four boys, yes, and then they're having another boy, or you're setting yourself up for all girls, you're setting yourself up for doing that public display. Wondering if it turns out where you're not having the baby you want, is there an option that you're just gonna not keep it? Where are we going with the gender reveal crap? I just it's ridiculous. It is, it is, and I just it's I agree with you 100%.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

I think that's a private moment because if anything, it should be private because if the reaction isn't right, it is magnified. Yeah, and that is gonna be a relationship killer for a long time, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Like you plus the kids gonna see that eventually.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

I know, uh exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

I mean, unless you're just not gonna keep it the tape or whatever the hell it is, but does anybody actually have a child and get surprised at when they have it?

SPEAKER_02 35:16

I've actually known quite a few people that have said they don't want to know until the baby's born. They yes, there are nice to know. I know there are, and then there's the but it's the same thing with the name, and I completely get why people don't want to. Oh, and people say, Do you have a name picked out? See, you're trying to that to me, that's dangerous waters. Like one, because as soon as you put it out there, somebody else is gonna take that name before your kid's born or something. But two, God, what if something bad happens and then the baby doesn't survive or something? And yeah, ah, you've named it, you've put oh so I yeah, I have no problem with people keeping that stuff on the DL or not knowing, but the publicly doing it all and revealing everything, it's oh, you're setting yourself up, oh it's bad.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

So it's not a fancy probably for social media, right?

SPEAKER_02 36:12

That and I think it's also a way to get more attendance, more gifts. So big party, it's a reason to have another big party to get more gifts because you have the baby shower, but now you're gonna have the gender reveal. So now it just keeps snowballing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

But anyways, yeah, everybody. Yeah, don't go to these things, everybody. I think the warning here is RSVP.

Stories Request And Sign Off

SPEAKER_02 36:42

No, thank you. Amazon will be delivering your gift in three to five business days. Yes. Because that's really all you wanted. This is very well. Alrighty. So we want to hear your stories. What what fun or not so fun baby showers, bridal showers, gender reveals have you guys been to? Drop us a line, let us know, check us out on Facebook. You can also check out our website, dysfunction junkiespodcast.com. And we're at the end of the month, but we are still embracing with our junkies care, the best friends animal sanctuary in Canab, Utah. So you can also check them out. Great organization. Or just check out your local shelter and remember stay new to your pets, everybody. Have a good week.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Yeah, Bob Barker. Bye, everybody. Bye.