Flashback Friday: When Mother’s Day Steals Your Birthday Spotlight

Your birthday is supposed to feel like one day where you matter, so why does it sometimes feel like a test you’re destined to fail? On this Flashback Friday, we pull a thread that starts with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day timing and unravels into something bigger: the sting of being forgotten, the mess of family expectations, and the weird little rules we create to protect ourselves.

Transcript

Flashback Friday Mother’s Day Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Flashback Friday, a special edition of the Dysfunction Junkies podcast, where we may not have seen it all, but we've seen it all. And now, here are your hosts, Chrissy and Kerry.

KERRY 0:22

Hey junkies, I'm Kiri.

SPEAKER_06 0:24

I'm Chrissy.

KERRY 0:26

Well, I'm sure all of you are just exhausted from all the Mother's Day celebrations from the weekends. How about you, Chrissy?

CHRISY 0:37

I'm exhausted all the time, so yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I have lupus.

KERRY 0:44

I'm exhausted too.

CHRISY 0:46

So we're going to get pear carry with your lupus and my cancer. We're doing really good over here. I don't know what's exactly.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

She got her two egg McMuffins for Mother's Day. That was cool.

CHRISY 0:58

Oh, yeah. Good job, Nick. Good job. Actually, if you get me the regular egg McMuffins, I saw a thing where those are the lowest calorie sandwiches you can get. So that's probably I better lay off the sausage and just get the ham.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

The Canadian bacon.

CHRISY 1:11

Whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Which i.e.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

ham. That's Canadian bacon, is what it's called. Yeah.

KERRY 1:17

Well, we got a good flashback one coming up, don't we? Yes, we do. Yeah. So last year we talked about the woes of sharing birthdays with Mother's Day and Father's Day for you. And so we thought since Mother's Day was this past Sunday, we have all the good time to flash back to that episode.

SPEAKER_05 1:40

So absolutely.

CHRISY 1:42

I think we talked a little bit about how isn't that the one where we talked about how birthday got forgotten?

KERRY 1:48

Yes, I think so, probably. But this year, people came through. My peeps came through for me. My birthday was not forgotten. And there was even a special carving out of Mother's Day. So I didn't feel like I was sharing Mother's Day with my birthday. So I hope all of you enjoy this flashback Friday of Mother's Day and sharing birthdays.

Birthdays Near Mother’s Day And Father’s Day

KERRY 2:10

Hello, junkies. I'm Carrie and I'm Chrissy. Well, today we thought we'd talk about another great family time of togetherness. Birthdays. Yay. Yay. So my birthday is in May. Chrissy's birthday is in June. And each of our birthdays respectively fall very close to Mother's Day and Father's Day. So it just seemed only fitting that this would be a great time to talk about the birthday events. Yes. Chrissy, go. Chrissy.

Why June Birthdays Feel Perfect

CHRISY 2:44

Yes, my birthday is uh in June. I love a birthday in June. I love it. And here's why. Christmas was six months ago. Yes. Now I got a birthday. So I'm getting hit great with gifts twice a year. And it's enough to be able to like basically, you know, reflect on what you got at Christmas so that you know what you need to ask for, demand for your birthday. So that time period, I mean, I just I think it's perfect. My opinion only.

KERRY 3:13

I agree. I always do feel bad for people whose birthdays are at Christmas time. I I do. I feel bad. My dad's birthday was like a couple days before Christmas. And I always did, I was like, oh, that's kind of sad. Like, how do you how do you differentiate that?

CHRISY 3:26

But I bet those people who do have birthdays close to Christmas, I could see where there might be some. Just imagine your birthday is celebrated with so many lights and decorations, and it's wonderful. You can sort of almost go out and say, Look, look what's for me. I mean, you know.

KERRY 3:41

Yeah, but then you're gonna get people that are gonna go, Well, I'm gonna give you one one gift that's your Christmas and your birthday gift or something. You're gonna combine it. Well, if it was me, I'd have to really analyze.

CHRISY 3:52

And I'd have to say, okay, now if it was just Christmas, we were celebrating and you got me this. I mean, uh it's gonna have to really be judged on my opinion. Uh that you did make up for the fact that we're sharing two types of big events for me in the same slot. How did your family handle birthdays?

When Family Traditions Fade Away

KERRY 4:09

Were they a big deal?

CHRISY 4:10

No, no, not really. I mean, when I was little, I had birthday parties. Uh but to be honest, I really don't remember birthday parties with like family real well. Yeah. There's some photography, uh, photographic evidence of this. I don't really recall these birthday parties where I had aunts and maybe uh a cousin, cousins there. But I think that pretty much ended probably when I was probably even before I was 10. Yeah. I think some of that had to do with the passing of my grandmother to some extent. She there's like that one family, usually a grandparent who really ties those two sides of the family together. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. The siblings, you know, your your parents' uh siblings and cousins. And sort of once that piece falls out of the puzzle, right? Things become brittle. It's not like we were on bad terms.

KERRY 5:02

No, but that was the glue.

CHRISY 5:04

It's it early on after somebody passes away like that, uh, it's hard to get together because then there's that missing spot. And then after you sort of follow that thing, it's hard to sort of get rolling again. So this isn't anything that makes me hostile or anything. It just was what it was. My birthday being in the summer, uh, yours also uh right on the brink of summer, I guess. Spring, summer. When we had a swimming pool, uh, my parents pretty much left it up to me to organize and do my own birthday. And generally that meant just having friends

Making Birthdays A Big Deal

CHRISY 5:38

around.

KERRY 5:38

Oh, okay. Yeah, our family, we and I think this is where I get it from. I like to make a big deal out of people's birthdays. And I think because definitely in the early years, my mom always made a big deal out of our birthdays. So we always it was always something special. First of all, we always got to pick where we wanted to go eat because we didn't get to go out to eat much. Now, granted, for the longest time, that might have just been McDonald's. That was a big deal. That was a big deal for us, you know. We would have parties, you know, like the kids' parties and everything. And then it started falling apart, like where it wasn't such a big deal when I started getting into high school. I, you know, I think my mom and dad, there's definitely something changed. They were on different paths. I don't know. It was like there was just me left at home and they were both working, and I don't know. It was just all my sisters were moved out of way, so it was a little different. Birthdays were kind of a big deal, and so I definitely like to make a big deal out of people's birthdays. My thing is you celebrate somebody's birthday on the birthday, on the day. So, like this, oh, your birthday's on Thursday. We're gonna take you out for dinner on Saturday. No, Thursday is the birthday, you celebrate it on the birthday.

CHRISY 6:43

That's you're strict, that's the day.

KERRY 6:46

Now, I'm all for making it a week-long celebration. Like, don't get me wrong on that. Like, you can continue the celebration, but there has to be something on the birthday.

CHRISY 6:57

Well, I I do believe that on the date of the birth, yes, of uh the person, you have to have a cake. Yes, and you have a cake with a candle, something with fire shooting off the top of it that you have to put out with your breath.

KERRY 7:17

Yes, and that is required on your birthday. And that's what I mean. I'm totally fine if we do the cake and stuff on the birthday, but we're gonna maybe live it up on the weekend because whatever it's easy. I'm you 100% with you on that. But there has to be acknowledgement and celebration of some sort on the day of the birthday.

No Celebrating Before The Birthday

CHRISY 7:35

I just remembered something, and I didn't prep for this thought before this show. But look on your face right now. So I have, and this has created some problems in the dynamics of family and other kids getting older, now having their own families, like with nieces and nephews, and they're having kids. And now we have even more birthdays. Like my side is really just not involved in this because I don't have a big family, and Nick he does have many sisters that he is in communication with all the time, which is great. And I have a superstition. Here's another one. Uh-oh. Sometimes I think my mind, because I was exposed to so many baloney superstitions, I create new ones for myself. And I don't even know that anybody ever told me this or why I think this. I can't celebrate my kids' birthdays prior to their birthday. Oh, okay. For some reason to me, that is bad. It's almost like you're you're exposing yourself saying, Yes, I definitely this is dark, man. Oh god. We're getting dark right now. I feel like if you're like, yes, my birthday is not until next week. It's convenient for everybody to celebrate it now. And then I I drop dead because I said, Well, I already celebrated my birthday. So, like fate or the gods or whoever controls karma says, Well, you already celebrated your birthday. This is a good time to strike you down dead. Oh, so you don't celebrate anything prior to it. My goal always is to make it to that birth event.

KERRY 9:06

Okay. Birthdays, anniversaries. So if you were gonna throw your kids a birthday party, then you would in you need to do it on a weekend for convenience, you would do it the weekend after, not the weekend before. So even if their birthday was Monday, you wouldn't have the birthday the Sunday before. Oh, it would have to be oh that could I I can respect that. I can totally respect that.

CHRISY 9:27

And it you know, it if their birthday happens to fall on the weekend, bonus, yeah, but no, it either has to be their birthday, yeah, actually, or the the time afterwards. Okay, no celebrating prior.

KERRY 9:40

None. There's I I have no problems with that. That to me makes total sense. And again, you're acknowledging on the birthday something. So you're you're having the cake or something, even if it's just you guys, your you know, intimate family on that day.

CHRISY 9:54

And it usually is just the close, you know, mom with my kids, it's just us. Yeah, but uh, yeah, you have to.

Forgotten Birthdays And Real Anxiety

KERRY 10:01

I have such a juxtaposition about birthdays because as much as I love them and I want to make a big deal out of them, and I do make a big deal out of other people's birthdays and everything, there is a part of me that has huge anxiety about my birthday.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

No, why is that?

KERRY 10:18

I think it's because it was forgotten one too many times by people.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Oh my god, you're like the opening of 16 candles. People actually flip and forgot your birthday?

SPEAKER_05 10:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

Parents?

SPEAKER_05 10:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Oh my god, Carrie, Jesus God, this is terrible.

KERRY 10:33

And Carrie, go. Okay, I want to hear it. Well, it's I should say it's maybe not so much that they forgot, but it got overshadowed because of Mother's Day. So many times my birthday falls on the exact same day as Mother's Day.

CHRISY 10:51

As mine does with Father's Day.

KERRY 10:52

Gonna happen this year. Oh, is it? It's gonna happen this year. So what happens is you're, you know, what would happen is they would, oh, like the Christmas birthdays and the Christmas thing, put it all together. Oh, but we'll just do one. We'll celebrate Mother's Day and Carrie's birthday all at the same time. And then it gets overshadowed. And then as you get older, you know, again, big age gap in the family from me and the siblings, and then it was just, you know, us at home, or oh, we had Mother's Day. Oh, yeah, I forgot that Carrie's birthday is the next day.

CHRISY 11:25

There would be like this no mention of you, yeah.

KERRY 11:27

Or the in or it would be a last minute, like all of a sudden at bedtime. Oh my gosh, we forgot it was your birthday. I thought it was whatever yeah. And sorry, Jim, gonna call you out on this one.

CHRISY 11:41

No, Carrie.

KERRY 11:42

Yeah, don't eat. But it was in his defense, I think it was the very first year we were together. But we had been together for almost a year by the time my birthday rolled around, and he didn't, he forgot those paper. And so that just already having those, you know, like I don't know, how do you say birthday abandonment issues? So I get this anxiety because it's like, and then as I've gotten older, I feel like I would have to plan my own event.

CHRISY 12:15

Okay.

KERRY 12:15

I get this anxiety of like, see, oh my god, did you see me? I just took a deep face.

CHRISY 12:20

You're having a reaction.

KERRY 12:24

So it's like, your face is red. I know. Oh my god. I know. This is what I'm saying. I want to celebrate it and I want to be celebrated, but I'm afraid people won't celebrate it or they'll forget. My response to that is then I will plan my own getaway. And we will often go away because I feel like if I leave, then if people forget or they don't do anything or don't reach out, it's okay because I wasn't available. So I'm giving, you know, I'm creating a pass for people. I know it's so dysfunctional.

CHRISY 12:53

Yeah, that's uh I know a lot of trouble to go through to accommodate other people's uh shortcomings to protect

Planning Escapes Like Jamaica

CHRISY 12:59

myself.

KERRY 12:59

But yeah, so for my 50th birthday a few years ago, it was like months before my 50th birthday, I started having this huge anxiety about my birthday. And it wasn't about turning 50, but it was the fact that it was my 50th birthday. And I was so afraid that I'm like, okay, what if this is another year where it's forgotten or underplayed or not played or whatever? And that's almost as bad too when the people celebrate your birthday because they feel they have to, like it's an obligation. Like to me, it's just as bad. I know I'm so I'm so messed up about this. So what I did was I went to the gym and I said, I'm just gonna ask you now. And the answer is completely okay. I said, Have you given any thought about what you're going to do in three months for my 50th birthday? And he kind of looked at me like there was no right answer for him. So he was like, I'm gonna be completely honest. No, I have not given a thought. And I'm like, that's okay, I got it. And I planned this big trip to Jamaica. We we went to Jamaica and I said, I you're I'm okay with that. You didn't plan anything because it is still three months away. I'm saving you and I'm saving me. So we planned a trip and then our friends went with us too. But I will often escape on my birthday, and it's purely a defense tacanism. Yeah.

CHRISY 14:12

Wow. I know talk about dysfunction. Is that not dysfunctional? Well, yeah, so in the same uh token is what you dealt with as far as celebrating generally Mother's Day with your birthday uh on certain years, um, when it fell that way. But it's so weird because as much attention as my father generally demanded, yeah, and maybe I was just the same, I also demanded as much. And they sort of canceled each other out.

KERRY 14:42

The apple didn't fall for me.

CHRISY 14:43

No, not at all. Uh remembering back then, I don't remember really feeling shorted or uh underplayed or because I think early on it was basically just my understanding that, you know, yes, you can invite over whoever you want, how many people you want, and go swimming. And uh I would usually request what I wanted there, uh generally pizza or are we ordering something? And I would generally tell them what I wanted as far as a cake, and that was provided. So it was sort of like just to keep but you planned your own stuff though. Well, I guess I kind of did. Again, it was pretty much like that whole thing where I talk about where they just basically just give her whatever she wants, and then we don't pay attention anymore. Yeah, and it was easy for them just to say, Yes, I you got friends here. That means I don't need to focus on you for anything. I got food here for you, you're not gonna be going without. Right, and we'll supply food for your friends, snacks, drinks, whatever. Cake, yeah, I'll get you a beautiful cake, it'll be here ready to go. Ice cream, whatever. Okay, and then yeah, I generally I don't even remember them being home. Wow, really. I probably should have taken more advantage as I got old. I did actually. You know, things got a little crazy later on. And again, they were the perfect parents for me. Yeah, because I have no hostility that I know of for that.

KERRY 16:07

Yeah. I don't I can't say I have hostility, it but it c it manifests itself in anxiety.

CHRISY 16:13

There's something going on. There's something because I definitely can see the physical reaction, right? That that was physical. I I thought you were gonna maybe turn into like a transformer. You were really upset. I was gonna start crying.

KERRY 16:26

Or turn green. I don't know.

Parentified Kids And Needing Protection

KERRY 16:29

I think it really stems from this whole thing of uh I grew, you know how I don't know if you've heard this, the phrase about the parent, parentize child. I think that's how they say it, parentize child. It's basically where you know the child grows up taking care of them themselves or their parents. And I feel like in a lot of ways that was me because, you know, again, I remember first, second grade, I would get up for school on my own. I'd have to iron my own uniform, I'd have to pack my own lunch, I would wake my mom up so she would watch me go out the door. And so she was watching me at the end of the driveway to make sure no one stole me while I was waiting for the bus at the end of the driveway. But I did all of that. I then come home from school, no but no parent home. So I was taking care. So I grew up with this having to take care of myself in a lot of ways, and also therefore was not protected. You know, we talked about before different abuse and things that happened. I wasn't protected. It's I think it's kind of all of that stems together. And here you have this great occasion, and then to be forgotten about or the sideshow again, it just creates all of this totally dysfunction around one silly day of the year. So I am a hot mess in the beginning of May around my birthday. And the other thing that gets me is I know people that know this about me will try to protect me. So they'll want to think they're doing a good thing by okay, I know you really want this particular person to remember it's your birthday today. People will try to remind that person. And I'm always like, I'm on to it. I know it's like, don't you tell them to remind them about my birthday? Like, I know I let them hurt me and forget. I would rather have that than you remind them, and then I get the call because they have to, you know, I mean, looking at me with such no.

CHRISY 18:10

I I to be honest, what I'm thinking right now is I better goddamn make sure I have my birthday on my calendar. I'm gonna put poster up in my room. I'm gonna have my phone go off all day because I knew I always remember it being in May, and I know it no, I feel I don't even want to tell you the date.

KERRY 18:31

I know when it is. That's it. I'm just gonna you can say the date because I already said this year it's gonna happen on Mother's Day, so but I don't know when Mother's Day is.

CHRISY 18:40

Do you think that I'm that in tune to that? Then I gotta deal a parent. Come on. Is it the 14th? No. I didn't say that. I didn't it didn't come out all the way. It was more of a noise in the back of my throat. It's in the middle of the month. Before the middle. Oh, it's I'm totally letting you scream. No. The 11th. Yes. Oh my god. What am I just writing on my paper? Huge May 11th.

KERRY 19:09

The same day as my son.

CHRISY 19:11

Please don't tell me you know when mine is.

KERRY 19:12

June 17th.

CHRISY 19:14

But everybody knows that date because it's the same day as a Watergate break-in.

KERRY 19:17

I have no idea what that reference is.

CHRISY 19:19

The Watergate. Nixon. I was born in the first place. I was born on the exact same day as that Watergate break-in.

KERRY 19:24

Oh, well, I was I was a month and oh six days old. I yeah, I remember that.

CHRISY 19:29

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're gonna be able to do it. Everybody celebrates Watergate, don't they? No, nobody does anymore. Okay.

KERRY 19:35

You know how I remember though, how now I remember and correlate your birthday, but I knew what your birthday was, is because that's our wedding anniversary. There, and that's why you were moving. No, but I knew it from before.

CHRISY 19:47

But I'm just saying that's how you planned the day you were given.

KERRY 19:49

Exactly, because everything revolves around Chrissy.

CHRISY 19:51

See, now I gotta share my birthday with that too. And well, my dad's deceased, so that's that problem was taken out of the equation, but it was never a problem. You know, as you were talking, I think I finally realized what my situation was growing up with my parents. What? And everybody would have wished they were me, which I always felt anyhow.

KERRY 20:12

What is that?

CHRISY 20:12

I basically had the life like I lived in a high-end hotel. Oh, yeah. You take my clothes were washed, yeah, my shirts were ironed for me. My skirt was pressed for me. Yes, my clothes were laid out and purchased for me. My meals were already made and waiting for me. Yes. There was no need for anybody to be there. All my wants and needs were cared for. I had a room that had a VCR, cable, stereo system, all my stupid crap in it. And there was nothing I needed or wanted. No, you didn't. I must have had the best. Here I thought they were lousy parents. I'm gonna have to retire from the podcast. Now I had no fun. They were playing the person's enlightenment. Because I never really wanted to have any time with them. Right. I just wanted, I wanted. I'm a child of need. I still am. I'm a big child of need. I want, I want getting. But yeah. So I am so grateful. Good for you. I am feeling horrible.

KERRY 21:14

So you called called Jano today and tell her you're too on Mother's Day, you'll be able to say to her, you'll be able to have something to be grateful for. I'll get her a couple extra flowers. Okay. There you go.

CHRISY 21:23

Oh my gosh. Wow.

Adult Birthday Bash Drama

CHRISY 21:27

Now, some people though, well, let's talk about these types. What? Unless you were gonna have a no, I had we can go on. I am totally opposed to people as adults having birthday big bashes. Now, for milestone birthdays, I'm not gonna crap on, but every goddamn year. And if I know again, these people I don't think listen. And I don't care if you do. I'm not shy about this. Yes. I'm 50 years old now. You ain't gonna cause me any heartache. Why do we have to celebrate your birthday every year like you're a child? You mean like sisters? They love their birthday. The one sister, birthday month. She has stuff scheduled every weekend with friends. But people love her. Hey, it speaks volumes about who you are. Yeah. The people love you that much they want to celebrate your birthday. Oh, goddamn. Congratulations. You've obviously been kind and giving your whole life that these people still want to celebrate you to the flipping limits. Yeah. Not me. I don't care. I'm thrilled that you even knew my birthday. And I'm thrilled that you got married on my birthday. And I love you for it. But I don't, and I get agitated. I'm glad we kind of live far away. They send us the text. We're going to have so-and-so's birthday celebration at my house. And they usually will send you the menu so you know what you're eating. Oh, well, that's good. And you can't even get away with now. I always like, why don't we go out to a restaurant? We're all adults. Like, especially before I had kids. Right. No, they have no. You're not allowed. Somebody has to go out of their way to have it at their home. Oh. But not the birthday person's home. Because they're not doing anything that day. I like that. They're not cleaning. I like that. They're not going to clean up after. They're not making one damn dish. I like that. And then the dip sister has to bring dip, of course. But they have someone has to prep the meal. Uh-huh. And they're not give them credit. They go all out with a meal. I mean, it's like a holiday.

KERRY 23:29

Can I be part of your family, Nick?

CHRISY 23:31

Oh, they'll love it.

KERRY 23:32

As long as you're going to acknowledge their birthday. I mean, don't come empty handed. As long as they re- as long as it's give and take. Oh. That's what I want. Oh, well, yeah. Oh, yeah.

CHRISY 23:40

Once you get on their schedule, let me think. Is your birthday in uh well they it's close to one of the other siblings? You gotta watch with that. So they have a whole meal, and then I was like, why can't you guys just buy a cake? God damn it, why does somebody have to make a cake? That's such crap. There's so many places you can get a great cake.

SPEAKER_06 23:56

Oh, it has to be something to make a cake.

CHRISY 23:58

And it's like usually a banana nut cake. What's where with that? I don't know who. Birthday, not banana nut cake. I know you are the winner, blue ribbon winner of banana nut bread. And Nick is on board with that.

KERRY 24:11

But as much as he likes banana nut bread, he don't want a banana nut cake. I don't think he's a big thing. Oh, it's not just it's always a banana cake. Not for everybody. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

I was gonna say no, they it's it's whatever sist what the sister wants. And I was one sister in particular loves a banana nut cake.

KERRY 24:27

Well, then there's nothing wrong with that.

CHRISY 24:28

No, it's their day, but it's then I'm thinking so every year it's a big deal. And then one time, a few times this came up, I kind of got mad because they all had their designated months for their birthday and their day that we're gonna celebrate it. Yeah, and then my husband's birthday and his one his oldest sister's birthday are close as far as not year, of course, because there's like almost 12 years between them, but we're his is in January, hers is in December. Okay. Her she's at the end, he's sort of at the beginning, sort of not so much, but close. Do they do that? Do you do the same day party? They want when we would bring it up because two of his other sisters have one in April and one in May, and they would never combine those. I really like your family, Nick. But because we went into the holiday lag for that December-January mix, that sometimes they would say, We're gonna combine, we're gonna tack on Nick's birthday with so-and-so's birthday. Yeah, yeah. And I used to be like, look, we just went through all the we used to go through all this trouble with special meals designated for special things, and and you're gonna do this to my husband.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

No, that's that's wrong. They've been combining the other ones lately.

CHRISY 25:38

Well, because everyone's getting old, man. Nobody wants to do all this crap.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

But I don't want to say too much, but I just want to say this Sunday, have a happy birthday.

KERRY 25:47

Aw, thank you, Nick. Get out of here. Go sit over there.

CHRISY 25:52

I'm gonna buy her something nice.

KERRY 25:54

One time I bought Karyo Wheel of Fortune Waller. She did. I love that watch. It was the best. It was like a swatch watch, but it was Wheel of Fortune. Yeah. And oh, I loved it. I had it for the boyfriend at the time. He did not like it. They brought her something cool. Cooler than he could get me.

SPEAKER_05 26:13

Well, we're not. I know. Because he didn't get you the Wheel of Fortune watch. Right. That's why you and I are sitting here today. This is true.

Songs Rules And Candle Timing

KERRY 26:21

So, what other traditions do you have? Do you have any special songs or anything other than the traditional birthday song? Do you do anything else where you know how you were talking?

CHRISY 26:30

Oh my god, she brought up the song thing. I'm gonna have to talk about the song thing. Do you have the same song thing? No, it's so is it my family song thing? No, what well, no, you I won't forget this. So you tell us about your song. No, you tell you go first. Oh, all right. Chrissy go, Chrissy go. So I am traditional, which is you'd think some of this crazy can't be, but yeah, the happy birthday song. Yeah. Happy birthday. That's enough. Now, if you happen to be at a restaurant, I know like sometimes if you go to a Mexican restaurant, they sing you their version of a happy birthday. Awesome. That's fine because you're at a restaurant. Yeah. But when you're at home with family, happy birthday song, traditional. That's it. That is it. One song. Now, next family, because again, they gotta go all out or whatever the hell you want to call it, they have three goddamn songs they have to sing before you can blow out your candles. And my kids for the longest time were so confused because they know we just sing one song and then you blow up. And so they'd be sitting at the table and we would sing the song, and then they start into a new song. So then the kid has to back off the camp. So then after the second song, they're like, Okay, I'm gonna go. No, now there's another song.

KERRY 27:43

Oh, this is great.

CHRISY 27:44

And I'd be like, Oh my god. And it was just so hard because kids are excited, they want to blow out the candles because then generally they're gonna open their present. Yeah, but we gotta go through this whole thing. Yeah. So generally it's just in rebellion, I would generally not sing the other two songs, even though the words were very simple and I knew them. I'm like, you know what? I'm just I'm rebelling, I'm not singing your songs. It's you're not singing the song and I ain't eating the dip. I don't even know. I'm not even I'm not explaining dip and I'm not singing three songs. So I did you always have that growing up? I'm just curious. We employ what they I think they started all this stuff when I finally got into his life. Just to be irritating. He doesn't even remember any of this.

KERRY 28:22

DJ Nick, go. What's the songs?

SPEAKER_01 28:24

So the second song is it's basically using the same melody as the happy birthday song, but it's may the dear lord bless you.

KERRY 28:31

Oh, okay. I've heard that. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Then the last song is We wish you a happy birthday.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

A very happy birthday. We wish you a happy birthday, happy birthday to you. And then somebody usually says ole or something. And it's just I would I have no problem with that. Carrie. Okay, it's too.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I think they did they added the you know, maybe Lord bless you, to trying to cancel Chrissy's reservation of hell.

CHRISY 29:01

They're sending that's their tip to humans. They never sing that to me. You know why? Because I never have a damn birthday party.

KERRY 29:11

So our family, and we do this, and we love everyone really loves it. And when we do it, uh when there's get-togethers and there's not just family and there's out outside people, other people, friends, or whatever, it always catches everyone off guard, but they love it. But the good thing is it's after the candle, so you don't have to wait. So we do the traditional birthday song, the person blows out the candle, and when they blow out the candle, we start. So I'll use your name. So today is Chrissy's birthday, birthday, birthday. Today is Chrissy's birthday. We count the years away, and then we clap the years and the age of the person. So one, two, three, four, five, six until you get to their age. So it's great. It gets the kids everything going. Well, it's really funny whenever, like last year, my mom's 85th birthday party, we started this. So it got silly. You couldn't do it by 10. No, we don't do it by 10. You gotta count the years. And usually the funny thing is the longer it is, the older the person is. When you get to the longer numbers, you're like, 77, 78. Like you drag it out.

CHRISY 30:10

You know, it's like that bottles of beer song. It is kind of like that.

KERRY 30:13

Yes, yes. But it's fun and we enjoy it. But it's always I love when we're in a mixed crowd and we do the and we just everyone just starts in because you'll see the people but that don't know, they'll be like, wait, what's happening? What's happening here? And then they, oh, oh, this is fun, and they start clapping and joining in. So yeah, the that is our birthday.

CHRISY 30:31

Okay, so I would be standing there completely off guard now that you're doing this, probably annoyed fairly quickly. Probably. And then I'd have to turn to Nick or somebody and say, Okay, wait, remind me again, how old is this person? What number are we counting? How long am I going to? Because I'm gonna lose like interest real quick and get sidetracked and stop.

KERRY 30:50

That's that's kinda I'm glad you love it. So that's why I have no problem with Nick's songs. So I guess I should appreciate that because I don't know how I feel about the clamping. The key though is it's after the blowout of the candles. So you only have the birthday song, the blowout, and then that goes into the next song. So you don't have to wait.

CHRISY 31:08

But if I showed up at the party late and I just got there when you were doing the cake thing, but I haven't eaten yet. Oh. I'm gonna get very hostile because I'm really I'm like, okay, I'm sorry I'm late. I know you guys kind of everybody already ate, but there's still food here for me. Yeah, let's do the cake, and then I want to get over there to eat. Yeah. And now you're doing this, which takes like 10 minutes, and I'm starving. And the food's getting colder, and maybe they're starting to put it away. And I'll be like, put the food away. Once they finish this BS over here, I'm chowing down. So wow. Wow, congrats on that, I guess.

KERRY 31:40

I don't know what to say. Well, that was fun. Maybe, maybe hopefully this year I won't have so much anxiety about my birthday, but no, I've got to go.

CHRISY 31:50

The week is anxiety. Because I feel like I'm gonna have to make up for every lousy ass that didn't do what they were supposed to do.

KERRY 32:03

Damn. Oh

Share Your Birthday Stories

KERRY 32:04

my. Well, we want to hear your family's birthday, horror stories, happy stories, songs, traditions, whatever it is, or how they relate to Mother's Day, Father's Day, those type of things. Other holidays. Or other holidays, yeah. Come up. Let us know. Check us out on our Facebook page. And then as always, please be sure to hit that like or follow or subscribe button on whatever streaming cast that you're listening to us to. And we look forward to seeing you next week. Bye bye. Happy birthday, Carrie.

SPEAKER_05 32:32

Thank you.